Ds scared of situation in Iran

[TwoHoots74]

I’m home after a wonderful Easter holiday and after asking my son (20) how he is and how was his Easter he replied he was really scared about the situation tonight will bring in Iran.
Ive tried to reassure him but I don’t think it’s worked. He generally looks fearful and I don’t know what to say to mage it better.

why is the world so shit?

It's horrible isn't it. DS has just come in to say he's having an early night and bye in case we all get nuked in the night.

24/7 news isn't good for them

I think you can only listen to his fears and acknowledge these uncertain times. At least he is talking to you, this is my worry for young men, that they can't discuss their fears openly.

I have two teens who ask me questions and I try to answer honestly.

I feel for them. We went on a family walk today in the peak district and it was glorious weather and beautiful scenery and uncomplicated.

And after Covid I'd like my teens just to have an easy carefree existence for a bit.

I wouldn’t blame him for feeling worried, I’ve a stone in the pit of my stomach tonight and I’m a Gen Xer and who lived through the Cold War

Op my 13 year old comes to me for reassurance quite a lot because her friends parents are going wild about trump and ranting.

I managed to caln her down and give her a deeper perspective on these things.
I am teaching her to look behind the head lines. For instance she thought trump had randomly picked on an innocent country to bomb...so we went through all that

She always goes away calmer ...

My teen DS is very anxious too. Also tried to reassure him but don't think it's working and as parents all we want to do it to take their fears away. The world is in a mess 😥

Yeah, 18 and 19 year olds worried here too.

I honestly didn’t expect the young-adult years to be like this, but I also didn’t expect there to be so much for them to have to worry about.

I've had my 20yo dd in tears tonight because she is so angry with the state of the world right now. It's hard to know what to say really. She tries so fucking hard to be a good person, but then she sees so much crap going on and wonders what's the point.

It doesn't help that she is stressed about exams right now (medicine) and emotionally dysregulated (adhd).

I don't have any answers for her really.

My 22 yr old DS honestly believes he will be fighting (as a conscript) at some point in the not too distant future. Those poor kids. Covid and now this.

Same.

I don’t even dare share that. We did talk briefly a few weeks ago and luckily he has a medical condition that would stop him being front line. What a thing to have to think of for our children.

i just don’t know what to say to him to ease his fears. He looks terrified

I thought mine would be exempt but apparently not. Dd isnt overly bothered and is out with friends. Maybe shes just ignoring.

I just don’t know what to say to reassure him.

luckily he has an ongoing medical issue which means he wouldn’t have to fight front line. A conversation I never thought I’d have to have with him.

Our poor kids. Life shouldn’t be like this for them. I know he won’t sleep tonight and will be checking his phone for updates

I don't have children but just wanted to say what loving, caring parents you all are.

When the Falklands War started I was a teenager and told my mum I was afraid. I got told to 'buck up' and not be a drama queen. It stayed with me.

Your children will look back on your gentleness and love with such warmth and gratitude. Things have changed so much for the better in our families if not in the world.

My eldest son is the same. He is just loosing all excitement in life right now tbh.

Just have to be there for them i guess xx

DS is 22 and staying with his GF. He messaged me to say that he loves me and just wanted me to know. I know why he sent it, he's not usually emotional but does suffer with anxiety. It's bloody scary

It must be a fine line when you have a child as young as 13, between providing much-needed reassurance while retaining a degree of honesty with your dc about the state that things are really in. When we have a pseudo fascist leader of the so-called "free world" making genocidal threats about wiping out entire civilisations and sending them back to the Stone Age "where they belong", it's very hard to know what comfort you can realistically offer without being totally disingenuous and seeking to hide the truth.

I am encouraging dd to focus on the micro, given that the macro is such an awful fucking mess. The acts of kindness and goodness that we see on a day to day basis in our local community. I feel utterly helpless about the bigger picture, but I can at least focus on what's happening with people around me.

Those of us who grew up in the 1980s remember the Cold War only too well. That was fucking scary. But eventually it passed. As will this crisis, which is ultimately just another war in the Middle East. Unfortunately, however, it won’t be the last.

@MrsBennetsPoorNervesAreBack I don't find it hard at all.

I'm extremely pragmatic and balanced a gift my parents gave to me thankfully.

I must admit one lot of parents are repeatedly headless chickens telling their children and my child that trump is going to bomb us or do.x y.and z but as soon as this childs name is mentioned we joke about it..what is trump going to do to us next.

Yeah, but just because Trump picked Iran, do you think it - and we - really deserve what he’s threatening?

A lot of kids today have a total lack of ability to be objective about anything. They have a completely warped view of risk gleaned from social media. It really doesn’t serve them well. Add to that a total lacked resilience and this is where we end up.

They are indoctrinated with agreed peer views on a whole range of issues and adopt these regardless of whether they bear any resemblance to what they have experienced in real life.

I feel sorry for their generation. They have sleepwalked into a ridiculous state of affairs.

When we're young we take world events so much to heart. When I was 20, it was the Cold War, and we were all convinced we were going to be nuked to oblivion. So nothing has really changed..... if there had been TV and social media in 1066, kids would have worried about the Battle of Hastings!
But as we age, we understand that worrying about things outside of our control is pointless. We also have a better understanding of history, and can put things into context.
Tell them to stop watching the news - or at least, concentrate on the good stuff, like the latest NASA expedition.

They need to step away from social media. Are 22 year old men really sitting up all night, genuinely terrified that they’ll be forced to go and fight from the UK? Really? Instead of looking for medical loopholes, I’m afraid I’d be more of the “get real and put your phone down” attitude. Surely they aren’t turning up for work knackered, petrified and panicking every day?

Where’s the resilience and common sense? It has to be a product of social media. Yes, awful things are happening in the world. Please show me when they haven’t.

Of course it’s horrible for everyone (not just you) but courage, decency and determination to make a better world will fix this. Cowering & denial gets you nowhere.

1. It’s not WW3.
2. If it was, we’d deal with it.
3. Feel the fear and do what you can to change politics anyway.
4. Cowards get killed too (usually early on but maybe not mention that).
5. You, personally, can help. There is still time. Find out what to do and do it.

You’d be amazed what humans can achieve against evil. Get perspective about wars in the world and get busy. 💐

Conscripted? We’re not even at war.

yes Trump is an absolutely maniacal cunt. But how would this current situation between USA/ Israel and Iran lead to your children being in a boots on the ground war? At the same time you’re panicking about nuclear war. You can’t have both?

Who’s going to nuke us tonight - and frankly why?!

Agreed. I’ve been terrified so many times in my life now I’m just…meh. If it happens, I have no control. YOUR job is calming your young people down not bloody feeding the panic. Woman up