Ds scared of situation in Iran

[TwoHoots74]

I’m home after a wonderful Easter holiday and after asking my son (20) how he is and how was his Easter he replied he was really scared about the situation tonight will bring in Iran.
Ive tried to reassure him but I don’t think it’s worked. He generally looks fearful and I don’t know what to say to mage it better.

why is the world so shit?

Ah he boiled a kettle. Got it.

Honestly, the hype and hysteria of some parents is ridiculous these days.

My own adult DC have not said they are worried but I would take their fears seriously if they did. A calm chat is far better for everyone's mental health than a brisk dismissal. It is possible to be reassuring without indulging in hysterics.

My Iranian DP is concerned but so used to conflict that this is normal for him. He is in this country because he could have been killed for having his own views and opinions about the oppression of Kurdish people.

He has been worried about his family in Iran but says he’s seen/heard it all before and he can’t spend his life in a state of anxiety now and we are safe in this country.

If he can take this attitude then despite having severe anxiety I’ve tried to step away from constantly watching the news and hoping for the best.
War isn’t a new thing or conflict in the Middle East as pp have pointed out, we are lucky that we are in a safe more stable country without maniacs in power.

Exactly. Obviously you don't brusquely dismiss concerns out of hand. But at least try and give a reasoned, sensible response. And leave out the salacious doom mongering hyperbole.

I remember the feeling of panic and that that if the end wasn't nigh we were certainly flirting with it. That panic and fear was the precursor for action and perhaps that's where young people are now...building up to stepping up and making their voices heard. I hope so and will them on to it.

We did our own version of doom scrolling via the TV and news and it sparked action. We good scared, we got angry, we got out there and campaigned. Today's young are perhaps at the start of that journey.

See my two replies ahead. The panic is a stage in a process.

I think acknowledging the fact that it is scary, it is also a lot of postulating and bullshit by a certain orange person might help. I was scared last night, I think a lot of people are but that's ok - it is a scary time.

I would also encourage him to understand and read history, and to understand all the issues and what's at stake and who the big players are and their impact - to understand world
issues and read widely - the economist, decent broadsheets, aljezera (sorry for the crap spelling), opinion pieces from good journalists rather than TikTok posters - it might help to make it feel real but also normal - and also it's very unlikely we will have conscription to actually fight but more of a home reserve force - hospital orderlies etc as j think most wars will be drone based rather than foot soldiers - it is terrifying my son is 21 and my daughter 18 - but also to understand our governments and the EU position - and the fine line they are walking to prevent escalation alongside India and Pakistan and the Middle East countries - no one apart from Isreal and the US wants this to escalate

sending love

He isn’t getting out there and that’s my point.

Most of us didn’t actually do what you’re describing in the 80s either FWIW

But the worry is the first part of the process isn't it.

Nobody goes from content to action. The worry is a catalyst. We don't know these young people won't scared, get angry, get up, get heard.

Are you suggesting that young people should avoid the news and not worry?

That you weren't bothered or politically active in the 1980s and you don't see why people should get concerned and turn it into something positive now?

I remember the 70s through to the 90s very well. A great deal of change and action all brought about by young people. Rock Against Racism, Punk. CND, Compassion in World Farming, working for the miner's strike, anti vivisection, Vietnam, Gay Lib, Womens Rights, Anti apartheid, Live Aid, Anti-Nazi League, Road building protests, poll tax, 1981 riots.

Maybe not 'most people' but definitely millions and millions all in their own way.

Young people now are active across a range of causes. The environment is a huge concern for them. Good on them.

Frankly it didn't help that some posters on MN yesterday evening starting equating yesterday's events and the Cuban Missile Crisis.....

There were almost zero parallels, the scenarios weren't even close, but you could sense the collective anxiety levels rising........

So am I. Just waiting for Isis Al quaeda to start up again. And attacks by them on the west. I feel so sorry for the Iranians who want change.

Agreed. But many MNetters don't let factual history get in the way of their frothing angst.

Not sure, most people don't tend to panic in response to current affairs.

Many are not fazed, some are angry, some excited, some worried, some cautiously optimistic, some passionately pessimistic, some are fatalistic, some get radicalised, some disengage, some are in denial, some minimise, some are thrill seeking, some avoid or freeze.

Panic really isn't that common. It's better avoided if possible.

Why are you so motivated to police other people's emotions?

It even sounds to me as though you'd rather people ignored bad news and the evil people do rather than respond and act.

Many people know all to well that sinking, sick feeling about the news. That shot of adrenaline you could well do without.
Many people are motivated to act as a result of it.
That's a good thing.

Indeed!

I can't imagine what my dds friends parents are projecting into their DC and I'm having to reassure my DD becusee of it

@Treadcarefully11 not my DC they are broad thinkers and understand sources bias ,propaganda and they question everything.
When they have asked me about stuff I always give the pros and cons be it Brexit or anything else

My 20 and 16 yo boys have always been raised with the attitude of “there’s no point in worrying about things over which you have no control” and it seems to be serving them well.

Of course, the current geopolitical climate is a huge concern but it is no different to how the public felt during the Cold War or the Falklands. The problem now is that young people have 24/7 access to online content which fuels those fears.