Ds scared of situation in Iran

[TwoHoots74]

I’m home after a wonderful Easter holiday and after asking my son (20) how he is and how was his Easter he replied he was really scared about the situation tonight will bring in Iran.
Ive tried to reassure him but I don’t think it’s worked. He generally looks fearful and I don’t know what to say to mage it better.

why is the world so shit?

This. Others take note.

Well, I don't agree, so I won't be taking note. I prefer the ' Don't be a drama queen' approach. Especially for 22 year olds.

No thanks.

I’m cringing at people talking about conscription. You’re mad, and it’s no wonder your kids are struggling with what’s going on when you’re actively feeding into it like this. I also find it very self-centred to be worrying to this extent about some make believe conscription situation when it’s the Iranian people who are currently at massive risk of losing their lives. Get a grip for god’s sake.

Wake them all up and tell them there's a ceasefire. Probably.

There are some absolute assholes out tonight.

FWIW

Neither of mine use social media. It’s a lazy discriminatory trope to assume all young adults are social media adults.

One of my kids is a PIR student, so not really an option to just “step away from the news”.

I am not “feeding into it”, I am helping them keep some perspective, but I can still feel some empathy for their worries even if I don’t show it.

And the reason they are upset is because they feel worry and frustration for the civilians in Iran. The idea that some on this thread are expressing - that people should only be bothered if they are actually in Iran themselves - is insular and shows an extraordinary lack of empathy.

Give over and stop being so utterly patronizing. Thank Goodness for the sensible, pragmatic posters on this thread - looking at you Alpaca Charlotte and Llama for starters!

They're children. They haven't sleepwalked into anything. But their parents' generation, and a generation before them, certainly have. And the children are now paying the price.

What are they all so scared about?. Unless they live in Iran I can't see how they are going to be directly affected. Why would your kids be conscripts the UK isn't at war and as far as I'm aware have no plans for boots on the ground in this conflict. Here in the US my kids have just returned to school after spring break and are busy arranging parties for this weekend and enjoying life as they should be at that age.

This is such a good time to be Australian. Obviously the distance is helpful. But mostly because all this stuff happens while we’re asleep so we don’t get the drip feed. I woke up this morning and read about Trump’s threat to end a civilisation AND his announcement about striking a deal all at once.

It’s a reminder that the 24/7 news cycle isn’t a good thing. The advice I’m sharing with my young adult DC is when things feel too tense and overwhelming turn it off! Walk away, do something else for a few hours. When you come back find a reliable news source and you’ll get all the information minus the breathless drama inserted by reporters/influencers trying to fill up the empty airtime with fear and guesswork.

Mind you we aren’t completely immune. We were at a bbq over Easter and DH got bailed up by a dad insisting that all our DC who have dual Aust/British passports should stay away from Europe this year in case they get conscripted. He kept banging on that ‘we’re at war!’ How can we expect young adult DC to be sensible when men in their 50s are carrying on like fools.

I would point out that:

1. The US government explicitly clarified that they weren't considering the use of nuclear weapons in Iran, even after all Trump's crazy talk in the last few days. While he might not exactly be an honest and reliable person, there's zero incentive for a nuclear power to lie and say they won't use their nukes when they secretly intend to, but lots of incentive to hint that they might when they secretly know that they won't. The power is in the leverage the threat gives to the side that has them, not in any kind of sneak attack. And if nuclear weapons aren't used there's no way the UK is getting dragged into this conflict to the point where it's a threat to the average citizen (and even if they were used, there's still a good chance we wouldn't be - it just makes things much more unpredictable globally).

2. Conscription would only happen if the UK was under an imminent existential threat. Even in the event of war between Russia and NATO, say, there wouldn't be mass conscription of UK civilians to go and defend Estonia or somewhere, although we'd send our professional army and see a ramped up recruitment drive. General conscription/mobilisation would only happen if there was an enemy army that was threatening us while already occupying, like, Berlin or somewhere, which is highly unlikely given current geopolitics and geography.

Unfortunately, social media and online discussion forums tend to reward emotion and panic even if there's no logic behind it, and seeing the same kinds of opinions over and over can make them feel credible even if they're baseless. Most 20-somethings are probably being exposed to lots of content from other 20-somethings who are equally clueless about how the world works, but are being incentivised (even if only in the form of likes) to post anxiety-provoking things anyway.

DS18 is obsessed with trump, not liking him just obsessed with what he’s doing. He hates the guy. He’s a bit worried as me, DP and dd are in us at the moment and he’s said to me about 4 times don’t die. He’s autistic and stayed home with my mum. The only reason he didn’t come with us was because he doesn’t trust trump. Fair enough.

What has he done exactly?'

'He has done more for war-torn nations in his 22 years than you have ever done'.

He sounds like he needs to get out and have a little fun, and get his head out of those books.

I think being overly dismissive of young adults fears runs the risk that they will be more worried because they think you have a head in the sand approach and have no clue what's occurring or what could occur.

IMO its better to say why you don't think Trump would ever use nukes, why conscription is unlikely, why petrol rationing is unlikely yet, why fuel prices could go up.

This is different from whipping up a frenzy of panic.

Shall I tell him @OchreSnakea random person in the internet says he should go mug some grannies or get stoned rather than read books? What a silly comment. What is wrong with a young man who likes to study? Think I'm hiding this thread as there are some crazy people on it. Heaven forbid any of us have kids who are concerned about the world we have fucked up for them!

Our YP are entitled to feel what they feel. My particular 22 year old does not scroll social media. He reads the mainstream press. He is a politically aware 22 year old. He doesn't want to 'get out more and forget all this is happening'.
And thank goodness for people like him. Who will be digging all you ostriches out of the sand.
The world is in a perilous state. And yes he understands logically that he won't be conscripted in the immediate future. But his fear is probably a justifiable reaction to the increased madness across the world.
And yes I can remember living with the Cold War and worrying about nuclear weapons. My mum can remember staying up all night over the Cuban Missle crisis.
We weren't hysterical, just well read and concerned about siginifcant and real threats. And yes those things worked out. And I use them as examples of how the world usuallly steps back from the brink. But it needs proper statesmen to do so. And the checks and balances on Trump are eroded..
Stop minimising understandable anxiety.
And anyone who thinks 'well it doesn't affect the UK and me if the US obliterates an entire nation' is a despicable human being. And extremely niaive.

What do you mean “digging you all out of the sand“? What is it that you are doing that we aren’t doing that we should be doing? Being aware of what’s going on and being scared witless as a result, changes nothing.

But I hand it to you, if you’re the one rolling up your sleeves and negotiating the ceasefire. Got any tips?

Yowzers!

We’ve helped. OP turned vicious.

Actually my DC were quite concerned about nuclear war last May. Because we have family in India, which came very close to war last year.

There is a difference between being concerned and aware- which we all should be- and fullblown panic. I could be wrong, but some of the instances on this thread seem more like panic.

What were they like in January when 40,000 civilians in Iran were being massacred by the Iranian regime, as opposed to the 2,000 (many of whom were IRGC) that have died in the war?

I am not the OP

I am the op and I have not turned nasty so get that right before saying @supersimkin7

All I posted was asking for advice on how to calm my son. He’s frightened and me as his parent should help him. Is it really that difficult on a parenting forum to give advice? Forgive me for asking for advice and perhaps a little compassion for our young people.

@AskNotForWhomTheBellCurves had some good advice upthread.

Sorry, OP. We’ve tried to help & hope some of it works. Best to you and DS.