What do you and your DH do when you go out?

[ChangeAgainAgainAgain]

Our kids are now grown up, and DH and I have free rime. Jolly lovely it is to be able to spend time together!

But we've realised that most weekends we're going out for food or cocktails, and this isn't good for our waistlines or our wallets!

We don't like sport at all, so won't enjoy sports based activities or stuff like dancing or roller skating.

We've done all the stuff like mini golf/axe throwing/bowling at our local complex, and honestly find that stuff a bit 'meh' (and expensive).

Cinema, theatre etc are OK if it's something we're interested in, but not for every weekend.

We have enjoyed stuff like sip and paint or escape rooms, but again, not every weekend.

So what stuff do you do with your DH when going out alone, that isn't just eating or drinking?

Yes, I think you seem to have hit the nail on the head. We do already do lots.

Sadly we're in a place of some quite horrible stuff going on with parent's health and bereavements, care needs etc. I'm trying to jam pack my time with 'fun, fun, fun!' as some kind of escape, aren't I? Bugger.

DH and I both like music so we often go to see live bands in local pubs and clubs. Also comedy clubs, if there's one local to you?

Hmm. On a weekend evening but not sports/dance/the arts/ food or drink. I think you might be looking a while! We did do a cookery evening course once. But it was pricy - and also involved wine. 😁

Hopefully someone might come up with something thst will inspire us all!

Theatre, comedy, pub quiz can all be done without drinking

Dance classes?

Ok, I think this might be a me problem, and far deeper than the original question.

So in the last week...
Friday evening dinner out with adult DD and partner
Saturday long dog walk, film at home with DH
Sunday hosted Sunday lunch for 8 friends
In week activities, French class, board game night, visited family.

On top of us both working full time and caring responsibilities.

That's normal or even quite a lot, isn't it?

That is quite a lot but not crazy to do things Fri, sat and Sunday. I don't like to be that busy but it's reasonable that you do. Nights out that aren't about food/drink needs to be in winter - cinema, comedy club, quiz, friends around for a light dinner and in summer it can extend to evening walks, or evening outdoor activity like kayaking?

That's a lot IMO. ok i have weeks that are like that but I couldn't keep that up every week!

We like an occasional gig or meal out but prefer to be home most of the time. In the summer we spend many evenings on the beach which we live very close to.

@ChangeAgainAgainAgain that is quite a lot.

DH and I are now empty nesters and also having caring responsibilities. Due to those caring responsibilities we can’t both be away for too long, as at the very least need to do a daily welfare check. I wish we had the energy to do half of your social activities We have the opposite issue to you as know we do need to get out more

Do you feel you can’t just sit down and relax?

You could each take a lover? Sex parties?

Or board games? get a dart board or a pool table.

You could each take a lover? Sex parties?

Or board games? get a dart board or a pool table.

In therapy / addiction support the phrase is "you need to learn to sit with your feelings".

Sounds like you are desperate to avoid those difficult feelings OP (which is entirely understandable)

I think perhaps I'm deeply sad from the loss of a parent and a much loved PIL, and the severe dementia and terminal ill health of my remaining parent. I'm trying to fill my time with happy, fun, good things to compensate. I'm trying to fill the wrong "hole" in my life.

Bloody Hell, this is not where I thought this thread was going to go! Who needs counselling when there's MN!

I really thought this was just going to be about what DH and I could do tonight for fun that wasn't going expand my waistline or up my alcohol consumpion.

@ChangeAgainAgainAgain I’m sorry you have been and are still going through so much.

I think we are both at the opposite ends of the spectrum of the coping by doing other things to get through this horrendous time, you by trying to do too much and we do too little. We both need to meet somewhere in the middle 💐

Sorry for your losses (kids moving out too) I relate!

will add: comedy.

also night classes eg learning french

quiz team

Walks by the coast or forest, paddle boarding, go to the gym, sound baths, play padel, go to football/ netball matches, play sport, go to different towns for a mooch about/ coffee and cake, bike rides, cinema, theatre,

Sounds like you do a lot with your DH, do you do much alone? Gym, swim, classes? Or with friends. I usually meet friends a few times a week too.

I do lots with DH, but also plenty without. But DH is my very favourite person, and I love spending time with him.

You could try playing different card or board games.

So sorry you are having a hard time. I hope you can find a way through it.

My husband and I like to go to the local bird sanctuary at dusk and watch all the birds flying about. Its lovely and peaceful.

I sometimes go to evening craft classes like pottery. You could go together?

Tonight we're off to see a local am dram performance!

With summer approaching, would getting out for a walk or a bike ride in the evenings work?

We’re going to an exhibition this evening. Ok, not something that can be done every week as most aren’t open in the evening.

We’ve also played scrabble and chess. But we’re boring!

See if your local library or museum or similar hosts evening events. I run a village library & our Friends Of group runs at least one evening event each month- often talks but also quizzes, a board games night, a French evening, a wine tasting event. Also a good chance to make friends and lots slope off the pub afterwards too 😁

Mostly eat out - and it shows 🤭🤣