Funny names for random things in your house

[GreatName]

Do you have any funny names for random things in your house that have just stuck?

Today I shouted from upstairs asking DH to put the washing out. I said to him that "the spin-a-poo-poo is upstairs" as if this is the most normal sentence in the world! It's only when I thought about it that I laughed. If anyone outside of this house heard me they'd think I'd lost my marbles. Our children (now 14, 16 and 19) called the laundry basket the spin-a-poo-poo when they were little and it shall now forever be known as that 😂

Are we just a little weird alone?!

The cat’s dry food is called kibble.

Telly turner overer here - does what it says on the tin.

Ciabatta is “fish bread”. She has no idea why, I have no idea why. But it stuck!

The remote control is called the blibber in my house! The tumble dryer is called the trundle washer - I'm not sure why! The passage between the hall and the garage is known as Diagon Alley and actually has a sign which says that . I'm sure there are others, but I can't think of them off the top of my head!

I call it a telly thing

That's what it's actually called though!

Oojammy-Bob for the remote, Terry is the robot vacuum at my house, my mum calls hers Henry Charles 🤷🏼‍♀️ the zapper is the electric fly killer. Grundies or Kegs are underwear.

I mainly seem to use French for things rather than made up - keys are Les Clefs, I was annoyed when Nigella copied my 'Mic-ro-wavee' as I realised I sounded like a plonker and I always wake up DC with "Bonne Matin!" in a slightly Del Boy tone. Also used to try to drum into the kids that knife was spelled with a K by calling it a K'niff. Not sure it helped much but it stuck.

The dog is often twatface (not her real name).

Dishwasher = Swasher
Tumble dryer = Rumbler
TV remote = Zapper

Our robot Hoover is called Rob, which is fine until I shouted to DH “can you empty Rob, and give him a good clean out”

I think all our things have normal names but bananas are 'babanas' thanks to DS as a toddler.

The robot vacuum is Nigel and he's retired (because he kept getting stuck under the chairs)

Mine us called Gary

From DD when she was a toddler
Patio-yoyo for the patio
Crackles for crackling on a joint of roast pork
Sheeshed for I've had enough dinner can I get down from the table?

I cut the grass, but for some reason always blank on the noun 'lawn mower' so it's the 'outside hoover' and I 'hoover the grass' now

Our most recent and seasonal one is “hot cross bummers”

I have a potato scoop that is older than me. It metal and I believe from the 60s

Its call the talog because of the noise (to me) it made when I was a child

I just call everything 'this one' if I'm pointing at it and perform some elaborate expressive mime routine to try and visually describe what it does as I've forgotten its name if I can't find it!

Satnav is Maureen

Another one here who calls knives K-niffs.

If we ask for the time we say ‘What’s the Timothy Dalton?’

Emergency vehicles with the siren on are called ‘Nee-naw, nee-naw man’ after something DS1 said when he was little. However when DH and I see a police car we childishly go through all nicknames/insults for the police in a ‘word association game’ way until one of us can’t think of another one.

Napkins are 'finger hankies'.
Elbows are 'armbows' (from when I was a child).
The blender is the 'woo machine', which DS called it when little.
The hoover is therefore the 'sucky' woo machine.
Bogroll is French: 'rôle a la bog' on the shopping list.
Sandwich is a 'manwich' I don't remember why. Sometimes a 'hamwich' if it's got ham in it, obvs.

Bogroll is French: 'rôle a la bog' on the shopping list.

I often call it ‘arsewipe’ but will write 'R Swipe’ on the shopping list if I’m feeling fancy.

People who are a bit stressed get told ‘chill up’ after one of the kids said it instead of 'chill out’.

I’ve been waiting for this thread! We wash up using a seminal frond. It dates back to episodes of House being sponsored by Spontex washing up sponges which used to say seminal frond?

Showing my age but the thing to riddle the fire when I was a child was called the shuffle wuffer, no idea why

Our washer-dryer is the 'Ter-bodrie'. This is because the machine before last was a Zanussi Turbodry.

We also have normal or decapitated coffee.

We had 2 remotes (T.V and Ceefax?) which were known at the Fat Controller and the Thin Controller.

It's fascinating how some things just 'stick',

The TV remote is l'oofer d'oofer.

The robot vacs are Delbert and Euphegenia.

We ask if the dishwasher is 'accepting', ie taking in dirty plates etc

And because I once wrote houmous? on the shopping list chalk board about 14 years ago, we all, without fail, pronounce 'houmous' as a question.