I don’t look after myself and it needs to change

[Doineed]

I shower daily but should moisturize after - which I never do, so even though I wash every day my skin is incredibly dry, itchy and flaky.

Never ever moisturized the heels of my feet and they are super dry and cracked.

Should be doing regular hair masks and generally taking better care of my hair.

Fail to take vitamins.

I prioritize the kids and family over myself each and every day, when it comes to me it’s always just the quickest option possible.

I hardly drink water & diet is appalling. Lots of sugar to keep me going throughout the day.

I don’t make the effort to socialize much - I don’t take breaks or rest, I will always look for the next thing that needs doing/what I can catch up on or get ahead of.

I never, ever treat myself to a treatment such as nails, facial etc.

I never treat myself to new clothes, shoes or cosmetic type things - just replenish basic things from time to time such as concealer, lip balm, the odd mascara (although I never make the effort with makeup anymore nor do I make any effort with clothing - always in the same stuff on repeat). Desperate for new shoes.

Aaaaaaaaand….. I’m so fed up. It’s really getting me down. I’m clean, but that is it. It goes no further than that. I have no energy or motivation because I’m always running around doing things. I see people on social media with their led masks on whilst relaxing in a bath with candles lit, their electrolytes in their bloody stanley cups and endless medicube products at the ready for their donut glazed bedtime face and do you know what? I’m so bloody jealous. How do people (with young children) find the time?

Thank you!

Mine sleeps but loves their bed so sleeps really well at home rather than out and about.

Be gentle on yourself, you've had some great tips here already and just take small steps. For cracked heels I'd recommend the flexitol heel balm - its a game changer! After a week of consistent use you will see a massive improvement. All the best!

I can imagine it’s a bit limiting them only sleeping well at home but at least they sleep! I think I was going crossed eyed with tiredness at 8 months

Hope you’re taking some of the nap time to rest and look after yourself

We went out for a walk today. I managed over 7k steps which is the most I’ve done in a long time!

i definitely go back to bed for a nap when the baby naps 😁

Thanks to this thread, i have consistently added some heel balm to my feet for the oast 6 nights!

My friend start small. Flexitol for feet after shower and a good moisturising cream then put a towel on the bed and just lie on it for 10-15 mins with music or a podcast. Take that small amount of time for yourself. Then build on that.

I have older dcs but honestly I don’t find that magically easier as I am working more now and there’s a lot more stuff on to drive to and the housework as kids gets older (in my case anyway) has increased so so so much. I have a very supportive dh but work with 3 kids is so busy and we have absolutely zero support.
However I really try and exercise 3 times a week , that can actually be very difficult to fit it so if not a long walk , I’m big on face masks, they really help my skin and can be done easily before bed . Also going to bed early a couple of times a week, my kids are older but I am still recovering from sleep deprivation. It is hard but it’s important to look after yourself when you are caring for everyone else. Honestly a lot of parents have help (in my are almost everyone ) and work makes a huge difference, if you aren’t working when kids are in school or v part-time you have loads of time !!

It is hard @Doineed when you are busy. Don’t try a change everything at once as you will fail and feel worse. Pick one or two easy things, do those or a few weeks and build gradually from there.
Maybe buy a nice water bottle with a wrist strap, fill first thing and carry everywhere to help remind you to drink. Take your vote when the kids do- make a game of it! Moisturiser I don’t get as if I don’t I feel like a lizard, but would one of the sprays work? You spray on right out of the shower when your skin is damp and you are done.

I was like this. I still am to a certain extent. I don’t have the patience for all that grooming. I’m not sure I’ve ever used hair mask.

One thing I do though, is get my nails done once a month at a local salon. It costs me £30 but totally worth it.

Having lovely nails makes you feel a bit more on top of things and, more importantly, it’s the only bit you can see (unlike hair, face). I look at them several times a day to remind myself that one bit of my life is together.

and it’s an hour out of normal life which is also a bonus.

Why don’t you get one of those bars from lush like King of skins that you use in the shower, saves having to take time to moisturise. As for hair mask, pop one on when you go to bed or walk the dog etc.

Even if you just focus on doing a couple of nice things for yourself, that in turn will lead to other things.

You need to remember that you are just as important as any other member of the family and you deserve to feel good about yourself too

I have a shower every other day and put body moisturiser on my skin only once a week. A daily shower dries it out.

Not drinking enough water is an easy one to fix. Sleep, drinking enough fluid, daily walk and eating properly will go a long way towards making you feel bettter.

Your skin really doesn't need moisturizer. That's a recent myth promoted by skin care companies.

Why Moisturiser Isn’t Essential for Your Skincare Routine | Blog https://share.google/33D9dXYO7GPK7FtjG

Try to eat healthily, with lots of fruit and veg, and drink plenty. This will take care of your skin, unless you have a condition such as eczema which needs moisturizer.

When you choose clothes, go for the colours that suit you and build a basic wardrobe around those limited colours.

Come off social media, it's not reality.

@MJFEB2026that sounds brilliant. I loved having a baby in the spring and summer when you can get out together more

@fouroclockrockthat’s fantastic. I read another inspiring thread a couple of months ago and have been using heel balm every day, it’s made a huge difference

For me it’s all about building habits rather than a lack of time.

I have a routine now of getting up, brushing teeth, washing face, eye drops. Then downstairs where I make tea, take vitamins, feed cats. Then I sit and do breathing exercises or meditation with my led mask on while my tea cools enough to drink. Then I sit quietly to drink my tea before doing the rest of my morning routine. It just feels like a nice calm start to the day and like I’m actually doing something for myself every morning.

I added in one thing at a time to get to this point. I used to sit on my phone whilst waiting for my tea to cool (I wake early but am not someone who likes to jump straight into action as soon as I get up) then decided to do 5 mins of meditation instead. I only got my mask for Christmas but it’s easy to pop my mask on at the same time. I was terrible at remembering to take vitamins so started putting them in one of those weekly pill holders and that really helped. And obviously when I had babies or toddlers this wouldn’t have been possible so I think a lot depends on what stage you are at in life.

There are still lots of things I’m rubbish at making time for though!

Op get some things on bedside table you can slap moisture on feet before bed...have things to hand .

You don’t need to shower every day and that’s probably why your skin is so dry- look at what you use in the shower. You shouldn’t need to use moisturiser ( but some soaps will strip your skin as that’s more profit ) try bar soaps

you shouldn’t need vitamins ( except perhaps D in winter ) if you are looking after yourself this means eating well - lots of fruit and veg. You should be modelling this diet to your kids so that’s important to change

you don’t need treats like nails or facials. You don’t need to have fancy clothes and new clothes - wearing what you like on repeat is just fine

young children is about making sure people are clean and warm and fed and loved. Anything else is irrelevant

sounds like you do need new shoes though

if you are feeling like you lost yourself - that’s normal -

You don't need most of that stuff op, you just need to build some better foods into your diet. Small habit changes which will help fix most of your problems from the inside. Do you eat fruit and veg? You can build more of it into your diet and reduce the empty sugar calories which would give you more energy.

For example home made fruit muffins with less sugar but banana mashed in for sweetness would be something you and the kids could eat. Greek yogurt with frozen berries (defrosted) for breakfast. Make yourself eat cucumber tomato and carrot before eating lunch. Drink more water, challenge yourself to drink a glass before each meal or each cup of tea. Handfull of nuts and an apple for a snack. Homemade soups, roast the veg in the oven add beans or pulses then blitz up with stock. More nutritious food will fill you up and make you reach for less sugar. Add salad to the side of your dinner even if its just a bag of pre prepared leaves and coleslaw.

I’m so bloody jealous. How do people (with young children) find the time?

honestly? Not everyone’s life is the same. My niece is probably like this but she has her Mum to watch the kids for an hour while she gets her hair done, husband who does the breakfasts etc. I never had that. Personally, I don’t regret the times I prioritised time with my children over my beauty routine BUT there are times I think I might have been a better, more contented parent if I had made a bit more time for myself - although maybe just to sit quietly and read a book.

so work out what would make you feel better, rather than what everyone else is doing.

Shower less, drink more water. Those are easy first steps.

Further inspired by this thread, and after putting my heel balm on this morning (still doing it every night, woo hoo!), I decided to use some expensive toner and moisturiser I received as a gift. My forehead often seems to look like a dehydrated orange, especially when I’m stressed. I splashed a tiny bit of toner on then moisturised (its all rose water based, flipping expensive, sold in Harrods and the likes). Within 2 minutes I had to run to the bathroom and wash it off. I now have a bright red dehydrated orange peel face with about £200 worth of ‘high quality’ skincare sitting next to me. Hah.

Good to see this thread is still running.

I’ve been making an effort to moisturise after my shower.

Charged up and wore my Apple Watch today after about 18 months of it sitting in a drawer 😳

@fouroclockrockthats such a disappointment. Are you able to sell said expensive skincare?