Why would school refuse a call and insist on a meeting

[Insistingonit]

My dd is in year 5. Attendance hasn’t been good due to frequent illness. Once she got to 90% the school insisted on a GP appt to verify Illness each time which we did. We already supply the appt letters for appts in school time.

She is now at 88% . We have continued to provide proof of illness. They are insisting on speaking to us we agreed and said we will arrange a phone or video call. They said it has to be in person. Why? We are happy to discuss but don’t see the difference?

They probably have little choice OP. They have to follow policies.

88% attendance and parents unwilling to attend a meeting - their alarm bells will be ringing. This is a safeguarding and welfare issue. In addition to other comments made, they will be concerned that there are mental health issues within thd family. Surely it is worth taking an hour or two for a meeting with the school to discuss your child's health, welfare and education.

@Comeinsideforacupoftea what do you imagine OP should have done to show that she takes her child’s education seriously? Sending a child with D&V into school doesn’t instil work ethic. It just gives everyone else D&V.

So the staff can do a home visit next time the OP’s kid is off ill.

That provides much better idea of the situation and doesn’t involve OP having to take more time off work.

OP at the end of the day your child has been off school for an unusually large percentage of the school year without a clear medical reason.

That’s nonsense! The op says that every period of absence has been documented by doctor’s letters, proof of appts. etc. Whether her dd’s frequent illnesses are bad luck or due to an underlying immune issue is yet to be ascertained and medical investigations are ongoing. It’s not the op’s fault that there is no clarity yet.

If I were you, op, I would reiterate to the school that due to the amount of time you are necessarily having to have off work to take your dd to appts., you are unwilling to take any further time off to attend meetings which could perfectly well be conducted online. If there is a safeguarding concern informing their wish for a in-person meeting. then you are only too happy for a home visit to be arranged.

We can’t all just take time off whenever we want, there is nothing to suggest any other safeguarding issues, there is doctors evidence and the child is seen regularly and available to talk to. Yes a phone call is reasonable to talk through if the school can help in anyway but some people here are being way over the top, the OP has engaged with the school but just is struggling to physically attend a meeting that requires time off work. Schools should work in partnership with parents.

Perhaps they want to discuss what steps the the school can take to help prevent frequent illnesses? Parents and school are not on opposite sides.

Are the parents not having to take time off work when the child is off school?

I have had to take so much time off work to the point it has damaged my career and promotion prospects and severely impacted my earnings due to school meetings for my sen child and the fact they want meetings in person, child sent home, refusal for after school club. If we don't or can not attend then we are made to feel bad about it.
I feel schools are massively overstepping now. It feels like interrigation almost. Its frightening to the point it feels like a police interview at times.
I hear you OP, but I fear they will only escalate if you are not compliant. Its aboslutely ridiculous. No wonder so many people are homeschooling now.

That can be done via a video or phone call, surely?

I really can't understand your reluctance to attend a face to face meeting and I'm afraid i don't beleive you can't leave work an hour or two early to attend. They clearly have concerns about your daughter's education/welfare, which i share given your obstinance and push back at a pretty reasonable request.

🙈🙈🙈

That’s sort of the whole problem.

Yes, but when the social worker comes to your house they will see that everything is fine and it will be case closed?

The investment of time in posting and reading will soon exceed the time the requested meeting would take, OP! As a parent and former governor, I would just remind you that in a tussle with school, it is almost always the school that wins. Schools' priority is its pupils, not parents. Accept gracefully that you and the school have a common interest in your daughter's wellbeing and happiness, and get the meeting over and done with, cursing inwardly.

The school will have an absence policy that involves a face-to-face meeting when a certain percentage of total in-year absence is reached. When processes are not followed by schools, things can go wrong and parents, rightly, complain. Others, including you, complain when they are followed. If institutions allow policies to be cherry-picked, there's no point having them.

@Insistingonit

It’s probably because they want to make you sign some guff - they did this to my friend.

Honestly - just tell them you aren’t going in so they either drop it or meet you online.

I told my sons’ school not to ever contact me about absence and they could refer to social services if they had concerns. Both of my boys have had attendance as low as 75% and as high as 100%. If they’re ill they stay home regardless of any statistics.

The sooner this fucking country stops treating illness as a moral failing the better.

How would the school “win” in this case?
What is the end goal?

No wonder so many teachers are leaving faced with that kind of attitude.

OP, try and think of this as if it weren’t you in the situation. Among all the children in your school who are well cared for at home, there will - without question - be some who are not. The teachers are not bad people looking to trip you up. They are caring humans who are trying to make sure that none of the children in their care slip through the net. Asking you into school is so they can reassure themselves that your child is safe. They will very likely do that, by sitting and talking to you in person (it is not the same online). But if it wasn’t you, and the child wasn’t safe, wouldn’t you want to know that they had checked? As others have rightly said - ask that they meet you outside work hours. But give them the benefit of the doubt - as you are asking them to do for you.

With schools you have to send them in and let them get sent home otherwise they make a fuss

It is not just a reasonable request though, it is a tactic to investigate the parent/child relationship.

To be fair if I had a child who had a lot of time off sick - usually meaning I have had to take time off too - then leaving work a few hours early to attend a meeting would be seen as taking the piss

The school would win in this case either by the face-to-face meeting taking place eventually, or by a referral to social services. The end goal is that the child's attendance improves. It's a case of 'pick your battles' and this one really isn't worth fighting.

This isn’t a bad idea.
Start taking her in to reception when she’s ill and ask if they want her in school.

That is your assumption. I assume they have the child's interests at heart.

Neither of those things will stop a child getting ill.