Why would school refuse a call and insist on a meeting

[Insistingonit]

My dd is in year 5. Attendance hasn’t been good due to frequent illness. Once she got to 90% the school insisted on a GP appt to verify Illness each time which we did. We already supply the appt letters for appts in school time.

She is now at 88% . We have continued to provide proof of illness. They are insisting on speaking to us we agreed and said we will arrange a phone or video call. They said it has to be in person. Why? We are happy to discuss but don’t see the difference?

It's very much a punitive measure by the school following a one-size-fits-all playbook.

This. I don't know why you are so resistant.

Of course it's a safeguarding concern if the child is frequently not attending school. Going to school means that the school can see the physical and emotional condition they're in. What would the public reaction be if the school showed no curiosity and the child died of starvation/physical abuse? Schools honestly can't win.

Facilitating a child to have the access to the education that is provided to them (at the expense of the taxpayer) is a very fundamental part of nurturing a child and yes it's a massive red flag if you're disengaging with this.

OP at the end of the day your child has been off school for an unusually large percentage of the school year without a clear medical reason. I think you just need to be glad that we live in a country that prioritises your child's wellbeing and accomodate any support that they want/need to offer tbh

It’s a power play, by inviting you into “their domain” they are flexing their authority. The teachers are demanding you obey their rules and submit your child to the education system. They are just doing their job, don’t take it personally. It’s to let you know they take the issue of non-attendance seriously. Play along, appease them and let them know you are equally worried about your kids absence. That will quieten them down.

@Insistingonit ,

‘We had parents evening and no concerns raised we walked past senior members of staff and nobody spoke to us and this was not long ago at all’

Parents’ evenings aren’t the right forum to discuss sensitive issues.

I am just not sure where you are going with this.

Ultimately, you are entrusting your child into the school’s care for many hours, five days a week. I have bitten my tongue many times to maintain cordial relationships with both my children’s primary and secondary schools.

It may be a total waste of time but being known as a friendly and cooperative parent has value in ongoing relationships with the school.

I'd turn this around on them and write a very pololite email noting that you will to keep channels of communication open and to be transparwnt and also that yiunare very happy to visit in person at a mutually convenient time. Note youbare as concerned as they about the illnesses yiur daughter has been suffering and hope things improve swiftly.

However also say that yiunsre sure theybare able to imagine that your daughter's absences have also had a significant impact on yours and your partner's attendance at work. Therefore would the school be kind enough to put the request in writing, noting they are requesting your physical presence and why. This will help appease your employers in relation to a further request fir annual leave.

Note you appreciate their understanding.

Yes, this is a lovely chart, however this is for a full year's absence not for half a year and we have literally just passed the mid year line... which is why I bothered to break it down before posting and worked out that if the child was not sick before the end of the year, their likely stats would be at just under 95%.

For example if a child was out for two x two day periods in the in the first month, of 20 days or as education calculates it, 40 sessions it would be an attendance rate of 80%. School years vary between 190 - 195 days per academic year... if they were not sick again... their attendance rate would be c.98%. So whilst it is a useful chart, it needs to be properly applied and explained.

🙄 So remove your kids from school then and there will be more of the much needed funding and support available to the kids who want and need it. I really think we should just start washing our hands of any parents who are arrogant enough to disregard what a blessing free education is to society. Remove your child if you don't like it but I say on the flipside we start being much stricter about giving benefits to perfectly healthy and able people who refuse to engage with society as well. Parents might feel differently if they're faced with the real consequences of denying their child an education and doing nothing to instill a work ethic....

OP, I would say go to the meeting if you possibly can.

But this country is OBSESSED with attendance. If you got 88% in an exam you’d have done brilliantly. I was at primary school in the 80s and had a lot of time off, my attendance was probably 60-70%. Nobody cared and it didn’t affect my education long term.

Some children get ill a lot. I wish schools would stop hassling parents for ‘evidence’ which is an added stress on top of looking after an unwell child. I’m sure schools can tell the difference between genuine illness and parents who take the piss.

Why not suggest the meeting is in the half hour before your normal drop off time then? You can then do it without any disruption to your working day.

Has your DD been in the same school since Reception? What is her attendance like normally? She seems quite sickly for a child in upper primary and not attending for over 10% of the AY, the equivalent of half a day each week, is high. Lots of people have their weak health points, but three lots of D& V in one and a half terms seems high. Does she have younger siblings who are bringing home illnesses from an EY setting, is the D& V post antibiotics or is she picking this up at school or at home? I would offer to meet them first thing in the morning before the teaching day. I would also ask about the absence rate, both authorised and unauthorised at school and LA level; either your child is an outlier or the school is performing badly on attendance.

Sorry, maybe I’m missing something here but there’s evidence as the OP has provided them with it. They are also attending more appointments so obviously looking into it more. The school is still seeing the child, so it’s not like they have not had sight of her. Yes attendance is low but that can be discussed in a phone call. The parents also needs to be able to keep their job!

Even though op has given school confirmation from the doctor and evidence of hospital appts each time her dd has been ill?
They see the child in school and at parents evening. They absolutely are overreaching.
I had flu once and had a meeting asking if i would be likely to be off again, I didn't get chance to answer because my boss was with me and said "if she gets flu again yes she will what with it being flu season".

Just go in. These procedures are designed to protect children

I agree with you OP - it makes no sense if they are seeing your dd in person regularly and know she isn't being beaten up at home. And are they really second guessing the GP.

But it's no good posting on here. MNers like to slag off teachers but when it comes to attendance they are surprisingly fearful - I have no idea what they think the school can do to you if your child happens to have a propensity to get ill a lot!

I would agree to a face to face meeting but only at a time to suit you; if you do drop off & pick up could you meet for 15 minutes before/ afterwards? If they aren’t able to accommodate your availability then that’s not your issue, I certainly wouldn’t be taking time off to meet and they can’t expect you to.

LA’s do not do this. They have a statutory duty regarding attendance (data analysis, holding schools to account)but will not be involved in individual cases.

Local management of schools for maintained schools, LA will suggest you follow the school’s complaints policy if you are unhappy.

Academy, very little LA oversight at all.

School might just not be geared up for a video call. Ours are but with various success across the schools.

Unpleasant meetings I have I suspect the school didn't want me to record there in person? Mind you I'm pretty cynical.

Can you insist it's online? I do get pissed when I am summonsed into school without 24 hours notice. The senco asked me to go in one afternoon for a chatvwith no warning and said I was wasn't working with them when I said no, please give me notice. What happens if your police or a nurse or god for I'd a teacher yourself? "Sorry kids something has popped up so just amuse yourselves for rest of the afternoon"

As others have said I would try to arrange it for pick up time, maybe your child could stay with another parent for half an hour.

I would not, however, accept being 'told off'.
I would probably try to start the meeting by saying how pleased I was that they wanted to work with you in trying to reduce how often DD was ill. I would have a list of things to discuss such as how and when the children are encouraged to wash their hands, encouraging children, particularly your daughter to wear coats etc. What is the procedure for drying wet clothes so children aren't sitting in them etc. Ask them if there are any of their policies or practices that need to change to reduce the spread of germs/infections.

Hoping your daughter's recent good health continues and she can continue to attend school successfully.

You’ve probably been invited into school to
*apply a bit of gentle pressure to improve attendance (and you are feeling pressure, aren’t you?)
*assess the interaction between you and your child - how does she react to your response to figures in authority that she knows?

*verify and make obvious to your child you support the school about attendance
*check she’s being well cared for - is she clean, not bruised, well fed, well dressed when she’s not in uniform?
*ascertain you don’t niff of alcohol, weed, BO (self-neglect)
The best thing you can do is calmly accept the invitation and from then on keep face-to-face contact as much as possible.
This is being done to check your child’s safety. Think of those who’ve slipped through the net. You’re not one of them so there’s no need to fight this. Chill mum.

I agree with your sentiment. As you’re there at pick up anyway I’d agree to a meeting at that time rather than booking even more time off work.

OP you're just repeating the same thing about how you 'don't see the difference' and not taking on board the helpful posts about why there is a difference, like @WildMintPanda 's or @Itsonlymeee above. Do you honestly not get the point about safeguarding? Parents evenings can be a real rush, things like this can be overlooked and the child isn't always present. Drop off in the mornings isn't long to get an impression either.

Kindly, education is not free in the UK. Like the NHS, it is free at the point of delivery. I ha e experienced state and private education with my children and can assure yiu the standards of both the education and the communication are sognifica tly hogher when money changes hands.

I agree with you it’s silly especially if the GP has confirmed illness and stated that the illness level she’s suffered is within what might be expected within a normal winter season. Schools are under a lot of pressure to show attendance but children get ill. It’s ridiculous they are making you take more time off to attend a meeting about it further in person.

If not being able to take time off from work is considered shifty then what is losing your job and going on benefits going to look like.

The school see the child each day. They see the parents each day. They have doctors and hospital verification of illnesses and appointments, The school are the ones who sent her home for vomiting then demanded proof of vomiting. If seeing it with their own eyes isn’t proof then what is the point of getting doctors notes and sending in hospital appointment letters if they don’t even believe what they see.

DS attended a school like this and I ended up giving up work because of it

I don’t think you can imagine what it is like talking to someone who ignores everything you say and it doesn’t matter what proof you have they don’t believe it.