Why would school refuse a call and insist on a meeting

[Insistingonit]

My dd is in year 5. Attendance hasn’t been good due to frequent illness. Once she got to 90% the school insisted on a GP appt to verify Illness each time which we did. We already supply the appt letters for appts in school time.

She is now at 88% . We have continued to provide proof of illness. They are insisting on speaking to us we agreed and said we will arrange a phone or video call. They said it has to be in person. Why? We are happy to discuss but don’t see the difference?

But why should I do more ? I’ve already met all their demands and I’m agreeing to a meeting and I am communicating with them . It shouldn’t make a difference whether it’s a video call or in person it’s exactly the same I can’t say or do anything different as the facts are the facts !

Well, if they won’t budge and you won’t budge, it’s stalemate. Which they may then feel is more of a cause for concern.

It would be easier to stop fighting this and just go to the meeting. 12% of lesson time lost is significant.

What you want is them off your back, right?
This is how you achieve that.
Yes, maybe it doesn't make sense to you but unless it is actually impossible then it is far easier to just get it over with than to argue the toss with them about it.

I know you probably want to say to them hang on, I'm an adult, not a naughty child you can summon before the headteacher for a scolding, but you can show willing by going in there just once, even though it's a pain in the arse.

The only time they didn’t want proof was as they’d see her vomit. The other two occasions they wanted it verified by the GP (who didn’t want her in the surgery and had to just add a consultation note to the online record and the third time they sent a stool sample off for testing so that was proof)

OP, you are making this situation worse for yourself by not agreeing to an in person meeting. 88% attendance is very poor and yes you may have the doctors notes but that’s just verifying the illness. School want to know that your child has a safe and healthy environment at home and meeting in person goes some way towards satisfying (or not) that you child is well cared for.

My school sent this in their newsletter this week. You can see why they are concerned as she’s likely had the equivalent of 4-5 weeks off school which is a lot.

The school safeguarding protocols are set up in such a way as to protect children and their welfare.
I would engage with the school and let them carry out whatever checks they want - the more you engage the faster the whole process will be. They are only looking after your child’s best interests.

Whether in person or online the conversation will be the same. Online enables us to not take more time off.

It’s the content of the discussion surely not the background!

they want the meeting in school not a home visit

FFS just go in! You’ve asked for reasons and posters have given them! What else do you want?

I can’t imagine the conversation being anymore than them going over the absences - for which there is proof of each occasion. Then what ? Tell us it’s not the % they want - but we have no control over it. What else is there to even discuss ? So a video call is fine !

I thought they wanted a home visit. Id still
encourage to work with the school. They probably have a protocol They are following. Maybe you could pop in at school drop off if you were there every day? Rather than missing work.

Op you are missing the point entirely. It’s not the conversation, it’s 100% the background.

I worked in safeguarding for years. Your reluctance has triggered my senses and if you didn’t meet me in person, I’d 100% refer to social services. I would also meet you outside of school hours if it helped with work. Have you asked about this?

I have to agree with this. My son has suffered from ebsa since starting secondary in September and I’ve done absolutely everything in terms of communication, moving work priorities, changing my hours, meeting in person, emailing and phoning regularly and between me, DS1 and the school we’ve built up an excellent relationship built on trust and transparency which has lead to a massive improvement.

I know your situation is different with physical illness and I’m very lucky that my work are very flexible and supportive but I can see how being perceived as difficult rather than accommodating with the school would only hinder things and in the worst case raise red flags with them.

Yes. You are right.
But is it really worth arguing back and forth with them when you can just take half a day off and go in and have the conversation and take the opportunity to say to them face to face that this conversation could easily have been done via zoom or teams and you wouldn't have had to take half a day off work and that you won't be doing it again.

I guess you have to decide whether 'winning' this is more important than getting it dealt with.

They want the meeting in school so it’s nothing to do with the home environment

I feel that they are overstepping. So I’m not just going to to ask how high when they demand I jump. I’ve already met them more than halfway with GP evidence and letters.

Well then carry on saying no and deal with their response.

It doesn’t matter whether you are right or wrong, the school have said in person and have refused a video call. So you need to do that. You can ask them to fit it around work - so you said earlier that you drop off in the morning, ask if you can get there 15 mins earlier to have this meeting to enable you to get to work on time. If not, what’s the latest time they can make it so that you can go at the end of the working day?

The alternative is you take some annual leave to cover the appointment if you’re employer won’t allow you to work flexibly and make the time back up.

I never mentioned it being in your home, did I?

Schools are open past 3pm. Have you asked about arranging at a time that suits you?

Why not ask for the meeting to be either at the start or end of the day, just before or after pick-up/drop-off time? At most you’ll be 30 minutes late.

it shows that you are serious, but with a lesser impact on your employment. I know my school would be sympathetic to such a request.

they want to see YOU engaging with school.
person to person.

go
take a list of questions on how you can help dc. maybe they can give pointers to get more support or things you can ask the gp.

Sorry another poster had said about it being a home visit

You say you do daily drop off and pickup so tell them you will do a meeting 15 mins before drop off on a morning of their choice?

I may just call the LA attendance team and explain to them as we’ve submitted proof and I think maybe they need to explain to the school they are overstepping