Why would school refuse a call and insist on a meeting

[Insistingonit]

My dd is in year 5. Attendance hasn’t been good due to frequent illness. Once she got to 90% the school insisted on a GP appt to verify Illness each time which we did. We already supply the appt letters for appts in school time.

She is now at 88% . We have continued to provide proof of illness. They are insisting on speaking to us we agreed and said we will arrange a phone or video call. They said it has to be in person. Why? We are happy to discuss but don’t see the difference?

Did you push back this hard on all the other services who requested term-time appointments? I suspect not.

Interesting question, made me think. But no it doesn't make sense. The other services request term-time appointments because they need to see the child in person for medical checks, and parents need to be there to transport and supervise the child. School already have the child there most days, they can assess the child as much as they like. They're not even wanting to see how the child interacts with the parent, as they want to see the parent without the child.

What are they going to gain from an in person meeting? If OP turns up in leggings and a hoodie will they be more concerned about the child's absences than if OP turns up in a suit?

I think it is bonkers to not allow a video call personally.

They see you at pick up and drop off (maybe just arrange the meeting for pick up time if it must be done?)

We had less than this for my persistently absent child.

I have a DC currently in Y9 and his attendance was 88% after the first term and he has had 8 days off since. 3 for a mild virus which I did query being ill enough to be off school with him, went back for a Thurs and Fri, had a CCF thing till 11:30pm on the Friday, school rugby leaving 8am Saturday, football match on Sunday. In tears and unwell after football and genuinely very unwell with a flu like illness for a week 🙈 I dread to think what his attendance percentage is now, but we have never had any contact from school. I contacted them due to the first term as this was anxiety related, not illness. No-one ever got back to me (and the subject causing an issue was food tech, so they do a term of that, a term of tech and a term of... can't remember. But food tech is over forever!).

Mountain out of a molehill IMO.

I have jumped through many hoops though with my other DC and while you can and should query it, may end up having to meet them. Surely it'll be brief at least.

88% is really low! My son has a hospital appointment every 2 weeks and misses an afternoon of school everytime and his attendance is at 94%
88% means on average she's missing a full day every week.
You've also been very lucky that they haven't called you in sooner! 89% attendance would trigger a letter from the council in our LEA!

If I were the school I’d start wondering exactly why you were so bloody mindedly resisting a face to face meeting.

Just go and continue to be cooperative (as you have been) going forward.

No, school want to see her in person to be threatening and intimidating.

For a child they still see regularly who has had the misfortune of being unwell repeatedly, but each absence has been verified, they see the parents (either or both) every day..... what exactly is there for the school to be suspicious about? They're being pushy because they are obsessed with attendance above all else.

The op is not going to listen, as 99% of posters have said, go to the meeting. If you want to be stubborn and argue every reason why you can’t/wont go, then go ahead. I have a feeling it won’t help your case and it will only prolong any fact finding. Yes maybe it does seem pointless and unnecessary, but sometimes in life you have to suck it up and get on with it!

That’s absolute rubbish

If you don't want to take more time off work, can you not suggest a meeting outside of your working hours? If you do pick ups, why not offer to meet then?

You just need to stop being argumentative and go in

The fact that you are being so resistant to meeting in person will alarm them. (it also speaks volumes about your attitude to the school).
it’s safeguarding

Posts like this wind me up! I hope they don’t get social services involved they have enough to do than deal with a parent who has taken her daughter to the gp every time she is ill, provided proof to the school and is now frustrated that she has to take more time off to discuss with school something that can be discussed on the phone! Absolutely ridiculous post

@Insistingonit ,

You are going to end up turning a very small thing into a very big thing, as you are determined to make it into a trial of power, rather than just working with the school to get the optimal outcome for your child.

Schools are incredibly hierarchical and procedural, sometimes for the best and sometimes for the worst, especially when it comes to safeguarding.

How much would it really cost you either financially or emotionally to go to the meeting as requested?

If the school refer to the council and they get social services involved, they may ask for a home visit in your working hours. Are you going to offer them a Teams meeting too, or get lawyers involved (at great cost in terms of money and time)?

I have no idea whether, practically, what the school wants to achieve could be done remotely. Maybe it could. But you aren’t being offered that option.

This is absolutely uncalled for! Some children have poor immune systems and catch everything. If your child is lucky enough not to catch multiple bugs don’t be so smug to think that it’s due to good hygiene 🙄

If I were the school I’d start wondering exactly why you were so bloody mindedly resisting a face to face meeting.

If school are wondering this, they're not very bright. I'd also assume OP has spelled it out, so their reading comprehension would need to be questioned. Any teacher who has kids of their own knows how difficult it is to get time off work for ANYTHING. Would a teacher be able to take a morning off work to attend a school meeting that could perfectly well be able to take place by zoom in their lunch hour? Teachers I know struggle to get time off when their kids are actually ill.

I’m a social worker and nothing gives me red flags with what op has said. Jesus christ

If your child has a poor immune system, @Harry12345 then all the more reason to try and reduce the likelihood of them infecting themselves, surely?

OP your responses come across as quite confrontational, and I suspect the school are picking up the same too.
just go and have the meeting in person. You can raise your concerns back about the insistence for gp certification and also how they are calculating attendance etc.
but keep fighting with them, is just going to raise more suspicions.

OP your responses come across as quite confrontational, and I suspect the school are picking up the same too.

Come off it, OP has been extraordinarily compliant. Most parents would have stalled at the requiring evidence for sick bugs stage. Most parents would have had no choice about it because GP surgeries don't want anything to do with it.

As a chair of governors, I don’t believe that they are overstepping and have very valid reasons for wanting the meeting face to face. The LA attendance will support this position. That said, I would go back to them and explain why you want it online and ask if they would be willing to do online or hold the meeting outside of your work hours so it doesn’t impact. This will show you are engaged and willing to try and work with them.

I didn't say it's impossible I said it's not normal. It's not.
That is not a normal level of sickness absence. Average attendance in UK primary schools is about 94%, and that will include plenty of chronically ill/disabled children who may have significantly more time off than most.
Its not normal to be so unwell you miss 12% of school days.

As a parent (who also happens to be a teacher) I would want to attend a face-to-face meeting, not just for the school’s sake but for my own.

I would want to know how they were supporting my child with catch up work and pastoral support. I would also want to know how I could work with the school on this.

And I would want all the relevant people in the room and fully focused on my questions, not just logging on remotely and going through their e mail boxes on a second screen.

As a parent (who also happens to be a teacher) I would want to attend a face-to-face meeting, not just for the school’s sake but for my own.
And your head would be fine about you taking another morning off, after the week you missed when your child was ill, and the regular days for clinic appointments? You're very lucky if so.

Also, you have no idea how your child responds to being back in school after an illness absence. She is at a formative age, friendships are fickle and can lapse into isolating or excluding someone if they're not there.
I've seen kids return after illness and sit making no effort because they really can't figure out what's being discussed. Or sit in silence. Or come to me in tears. Or act up and disrupt.

Do you know how well your daughter does when she returns to school after being ill? Do you think that's an appropriate thing for them to share with you in a video call where she may or may not be listening in?

Give yourself a shake up ffs!

Oh. Are school staff so disrespectful that they wouldn't give their full attention to the meeting because it was a video call?

They want to see you. Eye contact. It will be fine.