Why would school refuse a call and insist on a meeting

[Insistingonit]

My dd is in year 5. Attendance hasn’t been good due to frequent illness. Once she got to 90% the school insisted on a GP appt to verify Illness each time which we did. We already supply the appt letters for appts in school time.

She is now at 88% . We have continued to provide proof of illness. They are insisting on speaking to us we agreed and said we will arrange a phone or video call. They said it has to be in person. Why? We are happy to discuss but don’t see the difference?

Who picks her up? Could you arrange the meeting at pick up time with a friend keeping dd in the playground with their child waiting for you?

Years ago (10) ds had a kidney iasue and was under GOSH. We had a face to face meeting too despite the school knowing all about what was going on. Turned out ok though as ds was sick that day in school and I drove him back home.

I recall psrt of the meetinf was us explaining to the hoy what exactly his condition was and the likely outcome. His limitations etc.

His attendence was a lot.lower though as he was really very sick until he was operated on all is now flourishing.

”you need to bend over backwards”
”stop being so confrontational… be grateful”

what utterly ridiculous things to say?
do you ever question anything, particularly authority? or do just go along with what you are told?

Actual qualified doctors have confirmed illnesses. Appointment letters have been provided. There is a lot of presenteeism going on here from the school. It might be that they are concerned about safeguarding but the OP is managing things as best at they can for their daughter, with evidence! The school seems a bit overbearing, I’m not sure why a video call cannot be had in the first instance. A follow-up meeting can be scheduled at the school thereafter if necessary. The school should be working with the parents not against them!

Sure, don’t go. They will then involve social services. Don’t be ridiculous- if you have nothing to hide then go to the meeting. They are following safeguarding protocols.

Because the school are following their safeguarding protocol. If OP has nothing to hide why on earth wouldn’t you go to a school meeting?

As you have been told repeatedly it's a safeguarding issue.

I'm with you OP. No way you should have to take time off for a conversation that could be dealt with in 5/10 mins on a video call. I'm quite surprised how many are so supportive of what is a pretty over-steppy stance on the school's part! You're lucky to have a gp who even gives the letters the school (I'm not sure legally) insist on.

If they had a genuine safeguarding concern, they'd have reported to SS, but presumably the 85% of the time she is in, she is fed, clean and well?!

The obsession with attendance can be more harmful to kids than the missed learning sometimes. When did parent judgement stop counting for anything?! Argh I feel irritated for you!

They want to see you in person. Gauge you.

What a ridiculous system where a child is not allowed to be unwell as it reflects badly on a school!! I know one boy in particular who was sick for a full year after chicken pox, his immune system was so low after it. My own son had tonsillitis constantly for 2 years, I’m convinced it was the same infection over and over again.

It a child who is unwell with physical illness, now unwelcome in schools? That’s really bad!

Go to the meeting is my advice. Just play ball with them. Good luck x

Did you push back this hard on all the other services who requested term-time appointments? I suspect not.
Your job must be flexible if you're able to do drop off and pick up.

I’m afraid I would go against the grain here and tell them you are not coming in when a teams meeting/video call is more than sufficient. They can’t force you to come in. Schools frequently forget that we parents have jobs too and especially when your child has been ill a lot you can’t just take time off.
What can they do? They can’t fine you when you’ve provided proof of each and every absence. I am a social worker in children and families and can pretty much guarantee that sws will have NO interest in a child with 88% attendance who has been in for the past two weeks. I can just imagine that conversation-
‘What are you concerned about here?’
’Jane has 88% attendance’.
’ Ok, are they letting you know each time she’s off or is she just not turning up?
’They let us know’.
’Alright. Are their reasons valid and have they provided proof?’
’Er- yes they have, each time’.
’When did you last see Jane?’
’Today’
’Do you have any other concerns about the child?’
’No she looks well cared for but the parents won’t come in to see us face to face’
’Why not?’
’They work’
’Surely you can offer them an alternative way to discuss this? What did you do during Covid for parents meetings?’
’Er…..we used zoom…..but we insist on in person meetings now, even though parents have to take half a day off for a 26 minute meeting’.
’O…..kay then…..’

They see your child every day- presumably they have eyes and can see that she is clean, tidy, not smelling of cannabis, covered in bruises or showing evidence of whatever the hell else they think is going on here. I get that it’s protocol, but they totally can offer an alternative for meeting, they just don’t want to.

OP showing up in person doesn't make it any less a safeguarding issue. Unless you think school suspect OP of being an AI-bot and nobody is looking after the child.

She's explained repeatedly, they're asking her to meet at a time when she'd have to take time off work. They're already struggling with the amount of time they've had to take off work due to the child's illnesses and appointments.

Schools have to work with you. You are not refusing a meeting - you are requesting it to be an online video call. Put in a formal complaint including all the info you have provided (medical, parents eve, seen at drop off/collection) and your willingness to work with the school and their refusal to accept a video call (difficulties in getting time off work) etc so you have a paper trail.
I also suggest you read the gov statutory doc Working Together to Improve School Attendance to aid your conversation. Good luck.

This! 👏🏻

Schools are under a lot of pressure regarding attendance, Ofsted likely requires due diligence over attendance under 90%, under 95% starts alarms. Early in the school year one day off really affects the %, by about now it should start to settle. Even 2 days off today will only show 96% !
it is likely a safeguarding / due diligence to be in person, just take any paperwork you have and have a conversation, don’t feel the need to get angry they’re just doing their job. By July it will likely settle down much better.

remember you are fine, sadly there are children who have parents who don’t care / let them stay off for no good reason and they have to make these checks.

That’s not a fair comparison though. If the child’s health is suffering, she needs to see a doctor so they can clinically examine her. A meeting with the school can be done over zoom easily.
And again, you have to be physically there to do pick up and drop off, I’d have thought that would be obvious. Also you can’t assume the job must be flexible to allow them to do pick up and drop off. Even if it is, I do flexible working. If I needed to take a half day to attend a school meeting I would need to either make up the hours later- not always possible, especially if you have other kids, or take annual leave. For a meeting that could have been done online.

But why do I need assessing when this is verified illness? Nothing about my presentation affects that ?

OP really don’t see the point in you posting. You’ve thrown your toys out of your pram every time people have told you why the school want to see you in person.

you doing drop off and pick up generally isn’t enough to detect underlying issues. You’ve provided evidence sure, but just work with the school. I imagine if the school are doing their job the next people you’ll have to deal with will be SS

As an ex-safeguarding lead, your lack of understanding as to why you are being asked to go in person waves red flags to me. Your child is the most precious thing, and she also matters to the school safeguarding team as well. I understand you have had to already take time off work for appointments and illness - I've been there myself when my children were young - but get your priorities right: number one is your child. Refusal to allow the school to follow protocol raises suspicion.

Having kids mean you have to take time off work. If she doesn’t want social services involved I strongly suggest one of them needs to get to that meeting

I don't know what you're expecting to hear by this point. Plenty of people have told you why the school wants f2f. You just keep asking why not Zoom. Rinse and repeat.

Go or don't go. See what happens. FAFO. You're a grown up.

You've had multiple people, from other parents to professionals, give you suggestions why. The more you argue about this, the more I'm starting to think maybe school know more about your situation than you're sharing here.

Whether or not it is. All your responses are signifying that something else is going on. you’re reluctance to attend this meeting is a sky high flag. you don’t see it but they do.

I thought this exact thing myself. Very suspicious

Why are you so hell bent on not going to a meeting about your clearly unwell child. The level of absence with or without GP notes is not normal. By all means refuse to go. They will then escalate and you may find social services involved. Stop being so pig headed and go to the meeting

The school have your child for 7 hours per day, Monday to Friday, 39 weeks per year. Their concern for all of that time is that she is safe, happy, making progress and developing opportunities as a person and academically. They want to meet you because it will help them do their job. That's all.

At no point do you acknowledge any of this. You see it exclusively as an inconvenience. What shoddy parenting, when you have this opportunity to work with them. I know that sounds harsh, but given the huge role they play in your daughter's life, you are not investing much of yourself in what they do, are you?