Caused a big smash, so guilty and so worried

[dollabuckz]

I caused a car accident, something happened with my child and I looked back at them and when I looked back at the road traffic had stopped and I couldn’t stop in time. I slammed on my breaks so I wasn’t going that fast when we collided but there was still a big impact and a lot of damage, my car took the majority of it (complete write off) the car infront the owner told me it was written off but from photos I don’t think it would have been. Two others car were involved too but minimal damage and both drove away. Everyone was fine and kept assuring me they weren’t hurt. I got details and text them all the next day and all drivers told me they were ok. I have been absolutely consumed with guilt about it, I’ve been having panic attacks and waking up in the night replaying it all. I’m absolutely cut up. The one saving grace was that no one was hurt, except now they are. I had an email from my insurer that it’s being passed to the injury team as one of them are now claiming injury, I’m not sure what, whether it’s whiplash or something more serious. I feel horrendous that I might have hurt someone. I’ve already re-insured myself on my new car and my premium didn’t go up, I already had no claims anyway because I was a named driver on an ex partners car for years, I don’t know if this will now change and become more expensive because of the injury. At the end of the day I can take it, it was my fault and I will suffer the consequences. I’ll never forgive myself for it, I could have killed my kids or innocent other people. If it costs me more it costs me more. The whole situation is just really overwhelming. I was finally starting to feel better about it and not think about it all day everyday and now this has just massively triggered me again. I know it’s my fault so that sounds selfish. The whole thing is just really impacting my mental health. I never wanted any of this to happen

Be kind to yourself OP.
Yes it was a serious mistake, but honestly how many of us have had near misses, getting distracted for a fraction of a second and having to break as the traffic in front of you has suddenly come to a stop.
I always try and leave big gaps but then other cars soon fill them, leaving more chance of having to break hard.
How long ago was the accident?

How long ago did this happen?

The premium won’t go up mid year even following a claim, but will do at renewal

I did this exact same thing, almost word for word including the attending to a child and the subsequent injury claims, it was almost 14 years ago now and nothing like it has ever happened again, if anything it taught me to be a more cautious driver.

These things happen, every day. All you can do is be thankful that nobody was seriously hurt and be a bit kinder to yourself, you won’t do it again.

It was only a week ago so it’s all very fresh. It’s just thrown me completely again now finding out someone is injured. I’ve been trying to comfort myself for a week with the fact no one was hurt. It’s the one thing everyone has said to me, atleast no one was hurt, I’m gutted someone is now.

Bless you @dollabuckz you sound really shaken up.
It takes time to get over something like this and so it isn't surprising that you feel triggered by hearing the latest news.
The person probably has whiplash injuries because it can take a few days for them to become fully aware of the stiffness/pain and again getting over the adrenaline that would initially keep them going.
Your insurance company will handle it all. Sadly these days cars get written off very quickly as they are designed to crumple in a crash to prevent injuries, so even if they 'look ok' on the surface there can be a lot of internal damage. My car was written off as it was sideswiped. I drove it away from the accident (whilst in shock) and then later opened the bonnet and realised the engine mounts had been damaged so I was really lucky the engine hadn't fallen out. That along with the damage to the door panels wrote the car off - ie the cost to repair was more than the cost of the car.
I know it is easier said than done, but take things easy and try not to dwell on them. It is very unlikely that the person has more than whiplash which whilst painful and can be debilitating isn't life threatening. Worrying about them shows that you care.
Be gentle with yourself and learn from the experience, but don't dwell on it to the detriment of your health - you have a child to look after.

At least nobody has been hurt, including you and you have learnt from it. I read alot of reports about collisions as part of my job and I can assure you much worse happens as a result of individuals not caring about their manner of driving, speed, alcohol etc. So learn from it and forgive yourself 😊

It’s good tjst no-one was seriously hurt. I fear your insurance premium will go up significantly when it’s next renewed. I had to make a claim last year when my car was damaged Im a supermarket car park. I returned with my shopping and found thst someone had hit the side and damaged the passenger door quite seriously. Although it obviously wasn’t my fault and I had a full protected NCD, I still had to pay the excess and then my premium increased by nearly 50% when my policy was due for renewal. I spent ages shopping round for quotes and even though it was a no fault claim, Ive still ended up paying about £200 extra for the year with the cheapest comparable policy I could find.

I’ve ran it through compare the market and it’s not come up as anymore expensive, but I was already paying about £800 a year for insurance in my old car with no NCD. Last year was my first year driving my own policy not as a named driver, so it was expensive anyway. I added my new car and the claim to my current insurance and they wanted £100 extra for the year but I added my partner as a named driver as he’ll be using it sometimes and ended up getting a refund for £20 a month. Not sure if it’ll go up more again now the injury is a factor though. at the end of the day like i said i need to suck up the financial side, I just wish it hadn’t happened and that no one had been hurt

I will also mention someone wrote my car off 4 years ago, it was parked up (legally) and they hit it at speed. My new insurance for the new car hasn't gone up, but the following years renewal doubled. I tried fighting it as I wasn't the cause of the accident or even in the car at the time, but it's still classed as being in an accident. Its only just starting to come back down again. Just one of those things.

The injury claim is not a concern if everyone was ok at the time, it’s normal process, and won’t change the fact you have a claim - you either do or you don’t. honestly, how fast were you travelling for 2 additional cars to be damaged? Or was it that the one you hit didn’t have their handbrake on so moved forward further than they would have done?

it’s a shit situation and we’ve all been there although my children know now that I will not ‘just look mum, look quickly’ when they want my attention.

No one is perfect and accidents happen.
Do be kind to yourself.
No one was seriously hurt.
Cars are repairable and replaceable.
Its ok, you will be ok.
Can you get one of thise rear view mirrors where you can see pasengers in rear seat? But young DC are distracting!
Person who claimed injury may be genuine or maybe trying it on. My DS bumped someone gently at a junction. Stationery queue car in front went to go and slammed on breaks at last minute. There was minor damage to their bumper and they wanted to go through insurance, they also claimed whiplash , which surprised me as it was very low speed.
Anyway thats whats insurance is fo. Please try not to overthink or worry.

My car went into one car which went in to another etc. I admitted fault for everything straight away I text all drivers that same night apologising and saying was all my fault. I was told after that I shouldn’t have as technically I was only responsible for hitting the car in front but that didn’t feel fair, I caused it and I don’t want to palm blame off to others. Though I did react very emotionally I couldn’t help it

Try not to beat yourself up - this is exactly why insurance is compulsory. By admitting fault you are keeping the insurance costs to a minimum. They will likely settle the injury claim.

As a motorcycle rider it's things like this happening that scares me, I could be sat in traffic minding my own business and next minute I'm on somebody's bonnet with christ knows what injuries. I know no one does this kind of thing purposely but I do think people get very complacent that others might be a bit more of a vulnerable road user.

And yes before anyone jumps on me I know motorcycles can be dangerous, this is also why it's legal for motorcycles to cut through stationary traffic.

Anyway sorry that's probably not helpful, but take it as a lesson OP, that's all you can do. The fact that it has rattled you so much likely means you'll learn from it, be kind to yourself and try not to dwell on the what ifs

God yes I will definitely learn from it. I’ve been driving again for two days and I’m terrified to be honest. Every time I have to stop at some lights or traffic I feel absolutely terrified at every car coming up behind thinking they’re going to hit me, to the point I even ended up shouting out oh my god please stop. My partner was confused as said they were no where near hitting us. I’m really shaken up by it.

I think I’ve just realised how easily done it is, that one split second can be all it takes. I’m not scared of hitting anyone else because I will be incredibly cautious now, but im worried about it happening to me now I know how easily it can happen, if that makes sense

You are human, humans make mistakes. It's why we have insurance.

Insurance really is a beautiful thing.

Dont let it limit your life. Forgive yourself

I caused a car accident once, OP, and for several nights when I closed my eyes I’d hear the bang and replay the visuals. It’s our brains making sure we learn how awful it feels so we’re more cautious. I promise you that it does stop!

I dont think you shoild include such a graphic detail at all. Completely inappropriate

As a motorcycle rider you know the risks of riding a motorcycle.

Don't make the OP responsible for risks you choose to take

I deal with claims. An injury claim won’t affect you anymore than a normal claim. It’s likely to be whiplash so don’t worry. No one was seriously hurt because if they were you’d have seen that for yourself. One thing I’d say whilst you are at fault for the shunt it’s best not to admit liability just in case there are any circumstances where your insures will want to dispute.

I dont think you shoild include such a graphic detail at all.

As a motorcycle you know the risks of riding a motorcycle.

Don't make the OP responsible for risks you choose to take

As my uncle always says “a car accident that everyone walks away from is a good one”.
There is nothing more sickening and upsetting than a car accident so I totally understand the stress, OP, but the reason everyone by law must have insurance, is collisions are common (unfortunately!). Your type of accident happens easily, one minute everything’s moving and suddenly the traffic stops out of nowhere. It happens. The main thing is everyone is ok. The injury will be whiplash.

Oh OP, it’s clear to see how regretful and guilty you feel about it. Please be kind to yourself and stop torturing yourself. Yes you made a mistake and it’s obvious you know that and will be extra careful in future I’m sure. We all make mistakes.

So i have to deal with it beacuse it's my choice, but someone else who makes a poor choice whilst driving is just a poor driver who didn't mean too? Well done!

I know people in this country hate motorcyclists but we are actually people, your poor decisions can alter someones life and if one person might think twice then my post will be worth it