Does anyone else find tv sex and/or porn repulsive?

[Wildviolet]

Is it just me which fast forwards or mutes and looks away for tv sex scenes?

This being so, obviously porn is not my thing either.

I long for the days when sex, if an essential part of the plot, was just implied without all the heaving and pumping.

I don’t find it in the least sexy, more cringe worthy.

Porn is repulsive because it’s an industry which mistreats women, and contributes largely to extreme sexual practices being normalised in RL, and lack of consent being fetishised. I don’t have any strong feelings about TV sex either way. I write novels. If I write sex, it’s because it advances the plot and tells the reader something about the people who are having the sex. Ideally, TV or film sex does the same.

I think that if you genuinely do feel repulsed by the kind of sex scenes that happen in mainstream TV shows, and have to look away from the screen because you can’t bear to watch, that’s certainly quite an extreme reaction. I don’t think I know anyone who has to look away from the screen when someone has a shag in an episode of Bridgerton or Game Of Thrones or whatever.

Porn is obviously a completely different thing. Lots of people don’t like porn.

OP, I don’t feel “repulsed” by TV sex, but I do think they rather labour the point - once we know what’s going on, that’s enough: we don’t need to see five minutes of sweaty bodies and artistic coupling! I agree with you that it’s mostly cringe - I just want them to get on with the story.

Strangely this came up in book club recently - regarding the descriptions of the main character masterbating. I'd say it was 50% of the women who thought it was unnecessary and the book (and by extension, TV) would have been fine without it, 2 people explained that it showed that even though the character had a lot of issues going on, she could still find sexual pleasure (although I'd say it was a justification, rather than agreeing to its importance in the book), and the rest remained silent.

Personally, I very much prefer keeping it PG - bit of kissing, suggestion of hands, and that's enough. I'm happy for the characters to keep the rest private (and the actors/actresses not to have to wear creative covers)

I think there’s a big difference between thinking “This is a bit gratuitous” and actually having to look away.

I hate porn and it’s exploration of those who take part. Also I don’t want to see explicit sex scenes on tv, implied sex is so much better imo, we don’t need to see everything!

It all seems a bit slurpy and unnecessary to me and I can't think of one single show or film where it's enhanced the story.

Also, there's always that thing that jarrs when after a tumble the woman has his shirt on and he is still in his pants. It's all a bit ridiculous (and I always get the feeling that it's shoe horned into the script so that some grim producer or superstar actor can get his rocks off/dominate/make the lead character take her bra off).

They’re two different things. Porn (in any medium) is designed to make you horny. I don’t watch it anymore but it’s a private thing you watch.

I like sexy/romantic scenes in books, again, it’s private.

I do not want to feel aroused watching a film in the cinema or with family. Just ew and unnecessary. Way too on the nose, I also prefer something more subtle than romping and pumping. It adds nothing to the plot to show that.

I don’t mind them, I know it’s staged, but DH winds it on if he can. I just hope that people watching these scenes don’t think it’s the norm in a relationship ie endless long sex sessions with partners and think they have to live up to the same expectations.

I was thinking about this recently. We seem to have become numbed to the idea that so many films include an element of voyeurism even if it is ostensibly to create empathy with the characters, or bring realism to the plot. It is a sort of soft porn.

I think not being a fan of tv sex and therefore avoiding it is a valid stance although your repulsion is a strong reaction. Where I think I would have a problem is the suggestion that it's inherently wrong or disgusting and that no one should enjoy watching it/it should be banned (not that you have said that, but some posters are heading there!). Sure it can certainly be gratuitous/unrealistic/ridiculous but there are some powerful sex scenes in tv history.

I do think male directors centre sex.

I feel very uncomfortable for the actors who are forced to simulate sex.

It does spoil things like Bridgerton for me.

I hate tv sex. But it’s even more cringe when you fast-forward 🤭

I dont know. The long protracted bath scene in this most recent series of Bridgerton was terrible. I fast forwarded it. As I did with with the raunchy scenes with the other siblings. I am with you OP. I just don't have any interest in the TnA a la Brigerton/Game of Thrones/Outlander.

I’m with you, I don’t mind a subtle sex scene, kissing etc with rest implied. I think films like atonement are good examples of this, you know they had super hot sex in the library without gratuitous nudity. I do not need to see anyone’s breasts, arse or genitals. There was an actress over the weekend talking about how she’d had to use a prosthetic arsehole for her new movie. Not porn. Mainstream. Why is that necessary?

I have no problem with porn as it is there to serve a purpose.
Gratuitous sex on a tv show or movie is just a bit pointless though. It doesn’t serve the plot in anyway (unless someone pulls out an ice pick to kill their partner) and just waste time. It becomes the token sex scene. One of the wise choices they made in the recent Top Gun Maverick movie was to avoid a repeat of the comparable sex scene from the original. They were self aware enough to know no one wants to see that.

I despise porn, if there is a full on sex scene that very graphic then I don’t like it. If it’s a subtle and you don’t actually see much then it doesn’t bother me. I think for me it’s more that sex is very much private business with your privates.

Yes.
Porn is revolting and exploitative and is causing actual harm to women. women are being choked and needing rectal surgery because extreme porn is so mainstream these days! That is horrifying.

Tv sex is ridiculous. A bit of thrusting, lots of moaning and they both climax at the same time.

Both completely unrealistic in two very different ways. Both intended for men's pleasure.

On screen kissing irritates the crap out of me. Slurping and smacking. Disgusting noises.

And dont get me started on the lean in complete with the whispering.

And against the wall sex is extremely popular on screen.

Porn is obviously completely exploitative and abhorrent. The trouble with film and TV sex is that we know that even though it is simulated, it still has a history of exploiting young adults, particularly women. The need for intimacy coordinators just shows that it's difficult for young actresses to say no.

For example, it must be weird for the actors playing Gregory and Hyacinth in Bridgerton, they were cast as young teens but now will have the expectation of sex scenes when it's their character's series. But the longer they are in the show and the bigger the show is the harder it will be for them to walk away.

I absolutely agree with you OP. I find looking at other people doing anything they wouldn't do in public on the street unpleasant and unsexy. I don't feel that way about written descriptions, but don't like looking at filmed versions.

Agree about porn, when you learn about the truth behind the industry the it is the least sexiest thing on earth. With regards to the big screen it depends on the sex scene and its importance to the script. I mean, a full sex scene rarely is important to the script, but for example, the very obvious oral sex in that recent Mary Queen of Scots film was to support the implication that her husband was gay, so I got the point of the scene.

Exactly. They are actors and we know they're pretending. Just tell the story! I've done some acting and I'd have been mortified if I'd had to simulate sex with some bloke (or woman!) I didn't know. Watching Love Actually again recently, there's that lovely actress from Gavin and Stacey who had a really cringe naked sex scene with Martin Freeman. Ugh!