Girls at DD’s school cannot wear socks because men and boys feel uncomfortable

[Eastie77Returns]

DD’s school has placed a ban on girls wearing socks due to persistent issues with girls wearing skirts that are too short and not the school’s regulation kilts. According to the e-mail sent to parents, girls wearing socks with said short skirts has resulted in some “members of the school community” feeling uncomfortable. When the issue was raised further by some parents, the (male) Deputy made it clear that it was essentially unfair to male pupils, and presumably teachers, to be made to feel awkward when girls undergarments were visible to them. There have also been issues with boys making suggestive comments to girls in short skirts.

I support the school enforcing school uniform policy but hate the fact that 12 year old DD and her friends are already being policed as to what they can or cannot wear because…men. DD hates the thick black tights she now has to wear. She always wore the correct length skirt and knee high socks.

The situation will apparently be reviewed ahead of the warmer months. I just feel this reinforces the view that girls & women need to ensure they dress in a way that doesn’t attract male attention but boys are not learning that inappropriate comments and behaviour towards a girl because of the way she dresses is completely unacceptable.

Which parent did you ask that says they let their dd wear bum showing skirts?

They'll be on here saying their dd is never successful at job interviews as they like having their knickers on display and it's so unfair. The interviewer must be a perv and should'nt be looking at them.

Made up nonsense.

School needs to introduce shorts and trousers for girls. My school did this.

Our local school is now trousers for all. They've had issues with very short skirts for years and teachers just don't have the time to police uniform constantly.

The school in the OP have said girls undergarments were visible to them
The school do not want this and they are right. Despite some on this thread saying they are pervs and shouldn't be looking.
It's not our fault if you have poor comprehension skills

That's not good. And it's not the right reason. I don't know why schoolgirls wear skirts in the first place, when they grow up and go out in the world they wear far less provoking clothes. They should be wearing trousers or something conservative. However they shouldn't be forced to wear uncomfortable tights, especially not due to men's / boys gaze, men / boys should be taught to respect girls / women - so it should be a combination of those two at mixed schools.

There are a lot of posters defending the girls right to wearing whatever they choose (or not to choose) to wear. Some are more interested in getting the deputy head sacked. Someone asked for the school and email address so that Mumsnet could write emails on mass.

The reality is, it is inappropriate, it makes people of both sexes uncomfortable, it is wrong, and no matter how loudly you scream womens rights etc, it will encourage unwanted attention.

The same would apply to a male walking down the street in a mankini and tshirt.

I really don’t think skirts so short you can see underwear is in any way appropriate and not about boys feeling uncomfortable

Teachers have enough to do without policing girls rolling up there skirts and wasting time monitoring detention for those that do

If I was a head I wouldn’t have skirts as a uniform at all. Trousers are far more suitable for everyone

I posed a general question. Anyone is free to answer.

When I was at school in the 1960s/70s no-one from the equivalent of year 9 onwards would have been seen dead wearing socks with a skirt. And yes, the rolled up from the waistband skirts were a thing then too, as worn by my sister and her friends.

No wonder teachers are leaving the profession in droves

Will you feel bad that your daughter will be policed by a future employer as to dress code?

My experience of private schools are that when parents are paying money for something they make sure their children adhere to the rules. They are certainly not going to the press or complaining. Usually the children themselves understand the sacrifice their parents are making or have ambitions beyond being a pest in school.

The point is no parent has said they are happy to let their dd wear bum showing skirts.

You made it up.

It’s interesting you say that
A friend and music teacher moved schools for this reason
They went to a private school with stricter rules.

and presumably teachers,

did he actually say this or have you added this for click bait?

Honestly this. If there's going to be a uniform just make it unisex e.g. trousers/shorts and a t-shirt/shirt. Or make it really fair and have a jumpsuit - truly unisex since it's a garment that's generally worn by either sex anyway.

I'd be making a formal complaint against the Deputy for his language used, quoting some of the shit he's spouting such as the "boys will be boys", the misogyny etc.

They should be enforcing the uniform policy regarding skirt length, not punishing ALL girls for the actions of a minority. Furthermore, they should be teaching the men and boys about consent, and being in control of their own feelings, and not being so entitled as to expect the female population to pander to their inability to control their own sexual desires.

Urghhh this makes me angry.

In this case the existence of a dress code isn't the issue - it's the reasoning given behind the recent change.

If my employer dress code says 'no mini skirts' that's no problem. It's their organisation, their rules. But stating 'no mini skirts as you'll turn on Dave in accounts and that's not fair on him' is something completely different and yes I would be appalled!

The handling of this sounds dreadful. The school should have enforced the dress code they had, or switched to the same unisex option for everyone.

Me & DH were on a flight recently and sitting with Cabin Crew facing us for take off and landing. The young woman sitting directly opposite DH had a very short skirt on and sheer tights, we could both see her knickers quite clearly but my poor DH had a full view. He was mortified and had to keep his head turned to the side talking to me or facing the ceiling.

My kids went to private (but state A level college). There were strict uniform rules but I don’t know about the 6th form attire. It’s just I never got the impression there were uniform wars and never a single email about uniform transgressions (and boy did they love their emails). I suspect it is much more likely to be a state school problem because private have more carte blanche to act on rules. Now when they went to A level college some of the attire there was well, interesting. 🫣

Agree. I know I shouldn’t have laughed but Dave from Accounts did make me chuckle.

Not every man seeing women's underwear feels uncomfortable because they're turned on, some are uncomfortable because it feels wrong. I feel uncomfortable if I can see up another women's skirt for example but perfectly comfortable seeing a woman in a bikini.

Apart from anything else independent schools just chuck out persistent rule breakers.