Don't be envious of people with 'big close extended families.' They are often not what they seem. They present as 'close' and 'loving' and promote all the #ilovemyfamily trope on Facebook and so on, but they are often anything but close and loving. There is often infighting and resentment and rivalry and jealousy. I know a number of big extended families like this. In some of them, one half doesn't speak to the other, and some are even split into three or four 'factions.'
I had a big extended family when I was younger (up to my mid 30s) and half of them were nothing but trouble, and a few of them were absolute dickheads, Most are dead now, or I have quietly given them a wide berth and quietly eased them out of my life. I just have the people I love and care for (and who love and care for me, and who actually bring positivity to my life) in my life now.
I have very few extended family around now, and don't envy people who have 'big extended families' one single bit. They seem to be full of drama, toxicity, infighting, and bitchiness. And the women seem to be the carers for the older family members, as well as their own children. I have a friend who has 4 siblings, 2 parents, 2 parents-in-law, 12 nieces and nephews, 3 children of her own, and 3 grandchildren who she looks after 12 to 20 hours a week, (as well as a 26 hours a week job,) and she is constantly chasing her tail, stressed, and broke. She looks 10 years older than she is.
Things are not always what they seem. I'm fine with just my DH, my 2 adult DC and their partners, a couple of aunts who live 60-70 miles away who I see 3-4 times a year, and one cousin and her 2 DD who I see 5-6 times a year. My brother and hs wife and 2 DC live abroad, and whilst there is no drama or bad feeling between us, we rarely see each other. We were fairly close 2 decades ago and beyond that, but we have kind gave drifted apart, and just have occasional contact on Facebook...
Much of DH's family is dead now, or lives 100s of miles away, apart from a couple of cousins who live 45-50 miles away. Both sets of parents died some years ago, His brother lives far away too, (moved 100s of miles away some 16-17 years ago) and we rarely see him/his wife/his DC. DH and I moved 40 miles north of the town we grew up in too, about 1 years ago, so rarely see people from the past now. And that is the way we like it...
I have so much peace and tranquility, and very little drama... That'As I said, that's how we like it.
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