Has anyone had a good outcome splitting from unmarried partner?

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My niece has been with her partner since she was they left school, she's now 47 and has 3 children, older ones have left home but still has 15 year old at home with her (all with her ex). She hasn't worked since the youngest was born as she has additional needs (mostly fine day to day now) and her ex actively encouraged her to be a SAHM.

Her ex has multiple properties, very successful business and a lot of hidden cash (as well as unhidden), but she seemingly has nothing of her own. She is on the mortgage of their main property and did historically put money into in but there is still a huge mortgage on this one. He said he will make sure she's okay but hasn't said specifically what he means.

She is totally devastated, she thought they were happy and this came from nowhere, although I hate to say it but we (me and her mum) suspect there is someone else. She is looking for a job but doesn't really have many workplace skills. I have told her to see a lawyer but she's sticking her head in the sand a bit and keeps saying he'll look after her, but I think this is just her being in denial.

I know she is incredibly vulnerable financially and mentally and as they're unmarried I really worry for her. Has anyone else been through something similar.

Thank you.

Seeing a lawyer in secret isn’t going to change the fact she’s entitled to virtually nothing. There’s no MN ducks to get in a row here.

Well we can only go by OP’s posts saying she does not work. Obviously if that’s not right, then it’s a different situation.

Can I ask why you’re so shocked?

A line that’s stuck with me for years is “if you give someone the power to feed you, you give them the power to starve you”.

She was foolish but there was clearly some benefit to her in this arrangement or she wouldn’t have stayed.

She needs to see a solicitor who specialises in TOLATA.

It applies to people is a “de facto marriage”. That’s not a housemate situation.

No she won’t

What are the protections in place for, for example, a wealthy woman who finds herself in a coercive relationship which can be hard to prove. Could her abusive partner quit his job against her wishes (ie no agreement for her to support him), claim to be a SAHD but really does fuck all, and then she is reluctant to end the relationship because he’ll have a claim on her assets?
There’s another thread right now where the OP has an unemployed partner who is expecting her to financially support him - what would her situation be in Australia if they split?

Fair question, and I don’t know the answer for sure, but I think is that in Australia, the court can and does look at all the facts, the parties’ respective contributions to their lives, whether there are children, whether there are issues like control and domestic violence etc. By contrast, in the U.K., as this thread confirms, you’ll never even get to court for a judge to look at what was really going on to try to work out what’s fair. Here it’s a simple “not married, no rights” answer. Bad luck if - like the OP’s niece - you gave up your job and spent decades raising his kids and supporting his career.

She will if she’s on the deeds.

What are the requirements for that?

So don’t give up your job to have children without getting married. Protect yourself

She can just use a benefit calculator herself, such as turn2us. That will tell her what she is entitled to.

My parents were good success stories tbh. Never married officially split when I was 11, they had a mortgage together, we sold the house and moved in with my nan after my grandad died when I was 17and my mum gave my dad his share, they remained friends. She paid off the remainder of my nans mortgage, we moved down south and purchased a house here. She owns it outright so just bills to pay. She did well without him as a single mum to me and my brother. Considering he was main breadwinner, she went full time when my brother started high school. No custody battle, tbh he knew we would choose my mum anyway. Same if me and DP split, I know 100% dd13 would choose to live with me. He wouldn’t force her to live with him, if she did.

She should lean on him now while he may still be feeling guilty for instigating the split to transfer assets/ cash into her name. I think the worst thing she could do is stick her head in the sand and hope she can ride it out, or be reliant on his goodwill for handouts.

My DP is a high earner and was very generous to his ex. I’m a SAHM and our house - which is mortgage free - and all savings accrued from his income are split 50/50 so I have money in my name I’d walk away with. Not all men are shits.

This is correct from the info you’ve given.

will be genuinely shocked if he provides more.

"Lots of people do it" doesn't mean it's not tax fraud, you know.
It's fraudulently filing lower profits to get out of paying tax. The rest of us on PAYE (and the honest business owners) have to pay the tax we owe.

Presumably the benefit was not working for 15 plus years, and getting a salary from his business while not doing a job?

I actually don’t know why they didn’t marry, he did ask her to about 10 years ago (maybe longer I can’t remember ) and she has an engagement ring she wears, so they must have intended to at some point. Her mum thinks they just never got round it and then thinks maybe he started to have doubts more recently and then way more beneficial for him not too.

i spoke to her (mum) last night and she said there is a lot of equity in the house they live in and she is on the deeds so that’s some good news.

For those of you asking about why didn’t advise her to get married I suppose we thought it would happen one day, from the outside they presented as very in love and showed no signs of splitting. Her mum now wishes she’d advised her differently.

What were they supposed to do? What a silly comment

She was working- she was raising kids and running the home.

That’s just not how it works. Properties can be owned as tenants in common or joint tenants. If the former, there should be a deed of trust stating what shares they both own. If not, then the rebuttable presumption is 50% BUT that can be rebutted by evidence of who’s actually contributed what.

Op if it gets messy suggest she looks into the tax implications around his company. He might need to support her more generously so she doesn’t report him for fraud

Most people do this and work
So risky to put your financial security in someone else’s hands,particularly if you are not married

I was ok because I got half my house equity, had a full time job and to be honest it was probably for the best that my ex couldn’t ask for halves on my pension as we were not married. We agreed 50:50 for the kids who were older teens so there was no maintenance.

So I was just ok, but sorry, your niece is really only entitled to a share of the property she jointly owns. Possibly there is a tie to the business to look at. She can get maintenance for the under 18 yo if she has them for most of the time. But only whilst they are in education and up to 19. Two of mine did apprenticeships and left education at 16. This is why I am so anti women giving up work. Glad she has family support as she is going to need it and she needs to look at what benefits she can get as she looks for work.

Quite common for 'the wife' to have a job that she really doesn't do. It means the couple have a second income with the tax free amount and the low tax amount. Rather than the husband adding more to his salary at the highest tax rate. It's a tax dodge really. A friend of mine had his wife as the company accountant, she knew nothing about accounts but did keep track of the finances a bit, but really only a few hours here and there for quite a hefty salary. I don't think it's illegal as long as she was properly employed, tax and NI deducted, pension paid if required by law and salary paid to her as she was supposed to be paid.

Edit: Has she got shares in the business? That is also quite common and could be worth something if he buys her out.