SEN PARENTS SUPPORT GROUP - Thread 1

[mumofoneAloneandwell]

Hey everyone

this is the original thread that was started for half term:
https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/_chat/5491563-half-term-sen-parents-support-group?page=1

but we’re carrying it on since it’s been helpful

all parents of sen kids are welcome - also those who’s sen kids are now adults!

safe space to vent, share advice, tips and tricks, share good news and bad, and just chit chat and be 🙂

i am a mum of one dd. She’s 6 and is autistic and not yet verbal. It’s just us, no support system so I am thankful for the people on here keeping me company through the journey ❤️

Thanks op. Place marking

Hello 👋🏻

Hi thank you for making this thread @mumofoneAloneandwell

Tricky day here today, as my DS and his dad just clash constantly, he is always lashing out at his dad, who is then obviously very fed up!

Thanks op, place marking too.

Thanks op, also place marking 😊

Hello, first time on this thread. Feeling particularly down today. Went away for half term (silly us) and obviously regretting every second. Feeling down that we cant even do a simple trip, our bar has lowered so much over the years and it’s still shit. Also feeling alone like no one really gets it. I have a few other mum friends who are lovely but our lives are totally different. I feel like no one understands. And im full of jealousy at other people.

And somehow also struggle to meet and make friends with other sen mums. My son is in a small arp within a school. I try and be chatty but constantly worry I do the wrong thing. And Im a sahm as work feels impossible but being on mumsnet makes
me feel such a failure for that :(

rant over!

Hello 👋

My autistic 9 year old is at mainstream with a part time 1 to 1 and has spent most of half term telling me he hates school and wants to die.

I think he’s being dramatic rather than literal, but have that tiny sliver of doubt.

He’s also threatening to “smash the school up”. It’s a private school so if he did that I imagine they’ll ask him to leave.

School says he seems happy - they describe him as always cheerful and bouncing around, just sometimes refusing to take part in activities or lessons that he’s finding difficult, occasionally shuts down completely (like hides under a desk and growls at people).

He asks literally every day to be homeschooled instead and I’m starting to look into it but am very reluctant and not sure if it’s for the best.

Why not use the SN section of MN? Back in the Olden days it was almost the only section I used. There was so much camaraderie, support and great advice and info. Not saying you can’t post where you want of course but you might not want all and sundry sticking their 2p in

Good point. We’ll probably get people
coming in to say “just do xyz” and “I completely understand because my kid..” and state something completely unrelated.

My son didn't talk till he was seven so don't ever give up hope. Yes the Sen boards on here was a lifesaver when I started out on this journey

That’s amazing

Id love to talk to you more on this if I can. Ds is 6 in March and non verbal

Hello 👋 Looking for solidarity. SEND issues + puberty = frazzled Mum…

Think I'd happily lop off my right arm to hear my 9yr old say mummy or even No 😂

Hey everyone ❤️

I haven’t yet put the board on the SEN board as apparently threads on that board don’t show up on Active

so I’ve put it here, for now, so that people know we’re here

once we get going, it could definitely be moved to the SEN board. Anyone being nasty will be reported right away but there are some other ‘safe space’ boards in Chat that run smoothly

it could be good for people to ‘introduce’ themselves and their dc (obviously not in an outing way)

@SurreySenMum26 that’s fantastic! My dd is almost 7 and is picking up words now, I must say

@TrentCrimmsflowinglocks love your username! You’re welcome here, that combination sounds stressful to say the least!

@SoManyFidgetToys how tough 🥺 - I wonder whether he is struggling with understanding subtle social dynamics and friend groups, but is unable to verbalise it? How is he with making friends?

@Newsenmum 🥺 I am sorry your trip away isn’t going so well. I took my dd away and we did spend a good chunk of time in the hotel room as she needed to relax and adjust - it’s tough feeling like you’re missing out 💐

@2stone i am sorry ds and his dad are clashing - it can’t be easy for him at all, but also for you having to referee! Do they just need space from each other, is it small things or big?

@Davros I don’t disagree - will see how things go as when I’m on the sen board myself I find it hard to connect with anyone x

@Helplessandheartbroke @TiredYetExhausted @GreenYoda @MightyGoldBear 👋❤️

Thanks op. I have a non verbal high needs almost 6 year old ds. He's my world. Im not single and hats off to those doing it alone. It is still a lonely place to be being a SEN mum x

I completely get this. We convinced ourselves last year that a short break to Butlins would be fun. It was anything but unfortunately 🫠 It's really hard not to compare your situation to other parents and think why are our lives so much harder? I feel this way every school holiday tbh. It all looks so easy on the lovely fb posts, going out for lunch and on nice day trips. We can barely do anything. So I'm right there with you ❤️

Thank you the last thread was lovely. The weeks gone ok no major issues. Dreading Monday though DS struggles going back to school

Just for a quick introduction, I have a 9 year old with Autism, Sensory Processing Disorder, ADHD and Hypermobility. He has full time 1 to 1 support in mainstream, however we have been fighting to move him to a specialist provision for over a year now, mainstream have stated they cannot meet his needs. Headed for Tribunal early 2027. I also have a 7 year old who wants to go everywhere and do everything, and a shift worker DH. So, Hello 👋

@TiredYetExhausted ditto with the hypermobility i think its quite common in autistic kids, not sure why...

Also second the jealousy and hardness in school hols. I work full time and my SIL constantly moans about the cost of holiday club which I get but im like.... at least you have that option....

Ds only did echolalia and a few words until around 7 then gradually increased by 9 he had full vocab although he struggles with conversation it’s more familiar topics/phrases. I’m obviously so grateful he can talk but he does talk all the time mostly about computer characters and you tubers. He gets distressed if you try to stop him. It is really draining.

@firstofallimadelight 💐💐 - I’m dreading next week as well, as dd is basically nocturnal again

its just gonna take everything to get her there on Monday, probably on a couple of hours sleep. Her school is across London (we moved a year ago) so it’s an awful long day in the car for me

does ds dislike being away from home and you, or is it the routine he struggles with?

Argh so there was some language prior. Ds has had very odd words but hasn't said mama for over a year now.

Exactly! Holiday club is just not going to happen for us. I work part time in an NHS admin position (gave up my career when he was about 3) and I end up having to take unpaid leave over the summer hols as I dont have enough AL, and although my parents are amazing with him they are approaching 80 and I hate to ask them for childcare. So its extra tough on so many levels, that those without SEND children just dont understand.