SEN PARENTS SUPPORT GROUP - Thread 1

[mumofoneAloneandwell]

Hey everyone

this is the original thread that was started for half term:
https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/_chat/5491563-half-term-sen-parents-support-group?page=1

but we’re carrying it on since it’s been helpful

all parents of sen kids are welcome - also those who’s sen kids are now adults!

safe space to vent, share advice, tips and tricks, share good news and bad, and just chit chat and be 🙂

i am a mum of one dd. She’s 6 and is autistic and not yet verbal. It’s just us, no support system so I am thankful for the people on here keeping me company through the journey ❤️

@Wildturnip Have you thought about Young Epilepsy in Surrey? If not now, maybe later in her teens for 6th form or the FE college. They have students like your daughter.

@BlueandWhitePorcelain, I hadn’t but thanks so much I’ll take a look. My DH thinks she might be better off in a residential setting but it feels like she’s too young. We have another child with the same diagnosis’ minus epilepsy and they have a fuller life but need alot of emotional support. I’ve tried local support groups but the child don’t tend to be like my daughter so it’s quite isolating.

How are we all doing? ❤️

Hey @mumofoneisonozempic we’re on school holidays here already it’s nuts 🤐

how are you !!! Are you actually on ozempic? 😮

Hey @BrentfordForever ❤️

Omgg I can imagine. Me and dd are really struggling, we are annoying eachother more than anything 😄

She literally hangs out in a separate room from me unless she needs something

I'm so tired i'm like a zombie

Any big summer plans? Or is it just survival 😄?

Yes i'm on it! Giving it a go - 35 this year and i WILL BE SEXY

Ha I’d love to be in a separate room !! 😂

im already counting down… I have a neeeeeedddy boss too that doesn’t help! 🙄

good luck with ozempic!! I’d love to get hold of it!!

It sounds like it could be worth considering a residential school. St `Piers and St Elizabeth's might be worth looking at.

Feeling bad about how to help DS over the holidays...

He was very good yesterday and managed to put something in writing to say last year in school had been 'frustrating' and 'shit' and he wanted a break. Now I'd love it if we could say 'Sure, just relax and don't think about work' and just do the best you can in school. But he still can't write a thing in English and he has to put some practice in and ideally do a little work to keep up his knowledge in other subjects. His results at year to go, other than English, were OK - if he were to achieve 1 grade up on each and pass an English subject, it would be a respectable set of result. It would be enough as is (if he were to add English) to get to post GCSE course he'd like. We're not asking him to work all day - an hour and a bit of work, half an hour of reading and we talked to him about how this still leaves plenty of day to have fun.

Like I said, I wish we could just let him relax, but he needs to try and work on English so he can build the confidence that he knows how to sit down and get writing.

Will catch up today!

Very very lazy day here - dd is sick of the sight of me 😄

Not read the whole thread but just your last one @Echobelly i have a 15yr old taking GCSE English next year AuDHD, hates English but what I’ve done is used ChatGPT by uploading the specification of the exam board she’s taking, and the examiners past reports with sample exam questions and we’ve asked Ai to give us example answers written at different grade levels. She has to write a 45mark answer for one part so asking Ai to give us example of what does a Grade4 look like versus a grade 6, plus then give us a step by step plan to write an answer like that. It’s been really helpful targeting exactly what she needs to learn by rote examples to literally just pass but also enabled us to see what changes increase marks. She’s had 1:1 tutor all year who has barely managed to get her to write more than one sentence because she couldn’t “see” what was needed. She’s on track for high marks in maths & sciences but at high risk of failing English without this help.

@mumofoneAloneandwell most of the local home education groups are on face book in my local area. There’s lots of things for younger kids u10. It’s much harder in the teen years. Have you found a local “county name” home Ed group then once your on one then you find others linked off it. You do have to be quite proactive to start with plus just regular after school groups for sports or rainbows or other groups is a good way to find people. The national groups like HEFA home education for all are also good start place to search for your area or pop a post on asking & someone will help.

@Echobelly just a thought I and many of my work colleagues now have AI enabled at work to help with the challenges from ADHD if you have the opportunity to use any of the tools I would try them out with teen DS. My 15yr old dd although really good at maths regularly uses ChatGPT to show her steps to answer a hard question but not give the full answer when she’s stuck. It helps to “unstick” the procrastination point when she’s stuck rather than have a mini meltdown from frustration of not knowing how to start. It’s been a game changer along with adhd meds this year in supporting her education.

Trouble is DS hates AI - it's great in that he doesn't cheat with it but yes, it could help with things like generating a revision timetable if he can't or being used to ask questions, rather than give answers. But he is very unwilling to use it!

@Echobelly We think of it as a virtual teacher it really does depend on how you use it. It’s an amazing tool if used well and with good input. It’s fully embedded in my workplace now it’s just another tool like learning to use a calculator to do maths you need to learn the skills to use it.

Oh I know, I've just about to complete an AI apprenticeship through work.

I'm just on the verge of trying to give him some verbatim adaptable creative writing and say 'Just use this exact story and change the setting!'

It's so hard because this stuff came so naturally to me (I have a philosophy/literature degree) so I just can't explain it to him. I do appreciate how hard it must be to get your head around literary analysis or more in depth comprehension if it's just not your thing, though.

We've been up since 11

Dd is finally eating her first meal! Despite having several cooked for her 🙄

Thank you - i'm using this username as I had to make a new account ❤️

Dd got a school place! All being well she will start in september! So i am just counting down the days

I couldnt do home ed and she hasn't learned a thing 😔

I think reading is a good shout here @Echobelly

What kind of interests does he have? Even a footballers biography could be a really good place to start

For reading, it would absolutely have to be something of interest. A book left by his bed with just a promise to finish it before the 6 weeks are out, could be a good idea?

Youre doing well with him - i remember not wanting to do a thing during the summer - same with my nd siblings

❤️

He loves fantasy really, currently on Phillip Pullman's La Belle Sauvage. It can be a bit unpredictable what he will like - I was pleased that he liked Lian Hearn's Otori trilogy (medeival Japan-esque fantasy world) when I introduced him to them. He loved the Miss Peregrine books too.

@Echobelly im doing the same just getting her to learn a couple of example formats she can repeat in the exam change a few details and pass. She’s never going to do English at post16 if we can pass this tick box. Yet she has a you tube channel and can write brillant scripts for voice overs and has a really clearly laid out website so I’m very confident in her ability to communicate just not in a way that ticks off the exam checklist.

@mumofoneisonozempic Hope the school place works out ok. We didn’t choose to home educate just got pushed into it when DD was 12 as she was completely unable to cope at MS school after just about getting through primary. The school system just isn’t a great fit for a kid who’s never going to fit the square box, she’s luckily thriving now after a very tricky couple of years. ADHD meds have been life changing for her. Hope you can get some sleep & food consumed tonight. My oldest was the non-sleeper but is now an adult and thrived in competitive sport after finding her niche she’s still non-stop on the go requiring less sleep than most!

Anyone else waiting for GCSE result this morning? I feel like I’m going to vomit. Everyone else saying “oh yes it’s stressful” doesn’t realise what it’s like staring down the barrel of not knowing if you’ll scrape a 4 or get a U…