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Changing times? Surprising (to me) behaviour in hotel

338 replies

CurlyhairedAssassin · 19/02/2026 13:30

I'm just back from a short break in a nice hotel in the Lakes. Fancy hotel in picturesque setting, spa etc. I don't know if I'm just getting old but I was surprised by some of the behaviour of a number of people there (who all looked to be in their 20s or early 30s). Is it just changing times or am I old-fashioned or what? Bear in mind that there are plenty of walkers who use the hotel and I haven't got any issue with less formal behaviour in the right context eg leaving dirty boots in the porch and walking to the bar in their socks.

Dress: fancy hotel restaurant. Women with skimpy, very flimsy dresses more suitable to a nightclub, at dinner. One had the front completely cut out from the bra part to below her waist. Apart from anything she must have been freezing. It was about 4 degrees outside, the fires were lit in the lounges etc, it was NOT a warm night.

Conversely at breakfast, when most people were just dressed casually but not scruffily (i.e. in jeans and jumper or t shirt, or walking trousers if they were going out walking for the day), the younger ones looked like they were taking the bins out or had literally just rolled out of bed, hair all dishevelled bed hair. Quite a few women in old leggings and an oversized hoodie, with slippers. One looked like they were wearing pyjamas. Men in obvious gym shorts and trainers. Clearly they weren't going in the gym straight after a big breakfast so had they just come in from the gym, and were putting their sweaty arses on the chairs? They all looked stand out sloppy compared to everyone else.

There were a couple of other little things which surprised me. After dinner a young woman sat in the lounge had her bare feet up on the low table where you'd put your drink or bar snacks. It was in front of the fire so maybe she was warming her feet but still.....yuck. Just not behaviour I've ever seen before in a nice hotel (or any hotel).

During dinner there was a load of noise from the table behind. Music etc which clashed with the music being played on the restaurant speakers. I turned round and there was a couple in their 20s just watching facebook reels or something on their own phones with volume on high, not interacting or talking to each other at all.

At breakfast, there was also noise from a screen which I could hear from the other end of the long dining room. Dora the Explorer or something on full blast on a screen being watched by a toddler while their parents and grandparents just chatted amongst themselves.

The nightclub gear at dinner is probably the one that didn't bother me that much: woman's right to choose what she wears etc, but the rest just surprised me. It just felt like a drop in standards of behaviour somehow. Not what you would have witnessed even 10 years back.

There was a much older guy in his late 70s or something who walked into the bar in the afternoon to meet some friends and he was dressed very stylishly in a jacket and shirt and was even wearing a hat (like a trilby kind of hat, not a beanie or something). He stuck out a mile, but in a good way. He had nice manners too. No bare feet up on the tables for him Grin Made me wish a bit that we could go back a bit to the days when people made a bit more of an effort to make themselves presentable in public, and to avoid behaving in an anti-social manner.

Have times moved on, and I'm just not keeping up, or have standards of public behaviour dropped?

OP posts:
CurlyhairedAssassin · 19/02/2026 20:29

Sproutling · 19/02/2026 16:50

I think dress codes have changed, and most places have become ... eclectic.

I was at a Church funeral and the younger people there -20's-30's-range, were wearing what I would have thought was 'club gear'- maybe the only black clothes they had, I dont know, but the women were wearing clinging, low topped, split to the crotch dresses, some with cut outs. They had full make up , hair done etc, and to be fair mostly looked amazing. (Oh to be young and beautiful) The men were wearing trousers and dress shirts mostly.
Having said that, I feel under-dressed if not wearing a polo neck and ankle length trousers mid August on the beach lol

Do you think that look is "amazing", though? It's not to me. I'm sure they would have looked right at home in a night club or a beach bar in Ibiza but at a funeral? I don't think it's the look itself, but rather the setting they're used in that mystifies me. It's like people have no concept of dressing for the occasion. I wonder why that is.

OP posts:
CurlyhairedAssassin · 19/02/2026 20:35

BlackCat14 · 19/02/2026 17:17

What do you wear for breakfast in a hotel?
If you were visiting the spa for the day, would you have put a fancy outfit on for half an hour for breakfast, and then gone back to your room to change into your relaxation clothes?

I don't do spas, I just don't see the appeal, so I wouldn't know what peole wear if they have breakfast first. If I'm staying in a spectacular location like that I'd rather go walking and see some more of it. I don't want to sit in an oversized bathtub sipping cheap fizz at 10 in the morning and being upsold to on "treatments" in the treatment room. Doesn't make me feel special, but evidently lots of people like that type of thing as the outdoor pool thing always had someone in it.

OP posts:
CurlyhairedAssassin · 19/02/2026 20:39

Kittyloulou · 19/02/2026 17:56

It’s a shame. Even trash have money nowadays. We used to be able to go to these places to get away from them but now they’re everywhere. We have a very nice fine dining restaurant in our village. I now no longer go because it’s full of the ill-mannered scantily clad instagramers you describe. I used to love a “posh” night out. Now they bring their kids with their footballs who run around the place screeching. Restaurant too frightened to tell them to stop in case of a lawsuit.

A lawsuit?!

OP posts:

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BlackCat14 · 19/02/2026 20:41

CurlyhairedAssassin · 19/02/2026 20:35

I don't do spas, I just don't see the appeal, so I wouldn't know what peole wear if they have breakfast first. If I'm staying in a spectacular location like that I'd rather go walking and see some more of it. I don't want to sit in an oversized bathtub sipping cheap fizz at 10 in the morning and being upsold to on "treatments" in the treatment room. Doesn't make me feel special, but evidently lots of people like that type of thing as the outdoor pool thing always had someone in it.

But you said yourself the hotel has a spa, so is it hard to understand that a lot of people were making use of the facilities? I went on a spa break a few weeks ago and woke up, put my swimming costume on with leggings and a hoodie over the top for breakfast, and then headed straight to the spa. I’m not putting a fancy outfit on just for the sake of breakfast, and then going back upstairs to change into my spa gear.

CurlyhairedAssassin · 19/02/2026 20:43

Fearlesssloth · 19/02/2026 18:39

I really wouldn’t care or even notice any of this apart from people playing loud stuff on their phones/iPads during dinner. Why does it bother you what other people wear? Genuine question. How does it affect your experience? I suppose, at best if someone came to breakfast wear PJs, just rolled out of bed I’d secretly laugh at them but I wouldn’t let it interfere with MY experience. People like to relax on holiday, I certainly don’t dress up to go to a hotel. I want to chill with my comfy clothes on

Well of course it didn't interfere with my experience. I had a great time. What others wore had no bearing on how I enjoyed myself. As I've said a few times on the thread, it was an observation on how people's habits seem to have changed, and I wondered if anyone else had noticed and what their views on it was. This IS a chat forum, after all. And it's the actual Chat section. So.....

OP posts:
CurlyhairedAssassin · 19/02/2026 20:45

Northernladdette · 19/02/2026 18:44

I read recently about people in a hotel coming down for breakfast in their pyjamas! Surprisingly, many replies said they didn’t have an issue with it 😣

Wonder if those people would try that abroad? It just wouldn't go down well in countries where people dress better, I don't think. And surely they would feel out of place anyway?

OP posts:
Kittyloulou · 19/02/2026 20:50

CurlyhairedAssassin · 19/02/2026 20:39

A lawsuit?!

Yep. Throw out the neurodivergent card or race card or whatever may suit and off you pop to court accused of discrimination. (For context this is relating to the trash’s offspring's behaviour in a restaurant -not their wardrobe choice)

Cakeandcardio · 19/02/2026 20:52

I have noticed the dress thing with younger people. But I put it down to them being naive and just not knowing the correct way to dress and then getting it wrong.

The phones and feet are disgusting behaviour but you can see how society going by the comments here. People really do have very little regard for others. I complain in restaurants etc and asked to be moved when I can hear phone noice. It really is unacceptable.

ERthree · 19/02/2026 20:59

CommonlyKnownAs · 19/02/2026 17:10

Minimum dress standards? Blimey, do you want there to be any pubs left?

I have worked in a few pubs and even a dodgy boozer and all had certain standards. Men had to have tops on even in the beer garden and women couldn't wear bikini tops. Even in the roughest one cut out dresses would have been banned.

CommonlyKnownAs · 19/02/2026 21:03

ERthree · 19/02/2026 20:59

I have worked in a few pubs and even a dodgy boozer and all had certain standards. Men had to have tops on even in the beer garden and women couldn't wear bikini tops. Even in the roughest one cut out dresses would have been banned.

Topless is a bit of a difference from what was being talked about! But even then I notice you're talking past tense, when? Speaking as a regular patron of one extremely rough local pub, the idea of banning a particular type of dress there simply would not compute.

CurlyhairedAssassin · 19/02/2026 21:03

BlackCat14 · 19/02/2026 20:41

But you said yourself the hotel has a spa, so is it hard to understand that a lot of people were making use of the facilities? I went on a spa break a few weeks ago and woke up, put my swimming costume on with leggings and a hoodie over the top for breakfast, and then headed straight to the spa. I’m not putting a fancy outfit on just for the sake of breakfast, and then going back upstairs to change into my spa gear.

By the same token if someone is going to be taking the leggings and a hoodie off anyway when they go to the spa, it doesn't need to be leggings and a hoodie over the swimming costume, then, does it? It can be anything. It's possible to avoid something that's faded and saggy and worn out of shape that you'd normally only use if you were cleaning the bathroom, mucking a stable out, or painting and decorating, washing the car etc.

We've all got nicer, newer leggings and hoodies that you don't mind being seen in in public as they're newer and have their shape and colour still, and then there's the tatty old stuff only fit for doing jobs in case they get wrecked. What I saw on a couple of people was their tatty old stuff, so it seemed. What cleaners would wear, I suppose. Although the room attendants at the hotel were ironically much better dressed.

OP posts:
YourGreenCat · 19/02/2026 21:22

CurlyhairedAssassin · 19/02/2026 20:06

Yeah, I was brought up on "tits or arse, but not both at once". That's gone well out the window. The type of thing I'm talking about it like this dress. It's cheap, and it LOOKS cheap - the sort of thing that you used to only see in the windows of Ann Summers. You definitely wouldn't have worn it in a hotel restaurant at dinner. I don't know where style went when it comes to fashion, it must have gone out the window when Shein and Boohoo and all those online retailers went into business - there are no curated collections now, young women are just exposed to all sorts of quality including the nice stuff which allow them to show off their figures, and those which just make them look like a worse version of themselves.

You sound like an elderly provincial fuddy-duddy 😂

Women show their figure, if you are young slim and toned, gosh why wouldn't you! They should make the most of it while they can.

People were fainting in horror when women started to wear trousers, and lets not go to the 60s and the micro-dresses 😂

Fashion change, as long as it's appropriate and you actually wear clothes, what's wrong with it?

Even Kate Middleton was wearing very out-there fashion before she created her new persona when she got married - and she gets away from being mumsy because she's super skinny.

If it's an evening dress, it's perfectly suitable for diner in a restaurant. If people make the effort of getting off their jeans/ joggers and wear a dress , great.

ArseInTheCoOpWindow · 19/02/2026 21:40

YourGreenCat · 19/02/2026 21:22

You sound like an elderly provincial fuddy-duddy 😂

Women show their figure, if you are young slim and toned, gosh why wouldn't you! They should make the most of it while they can.

People were fainting in horror when women started to wear trousers, and lets not go to the 60s and the micro-dresses 😂

Fashion change, as long as it's appropriate and you actually wear clothes, what's wrong with it?

Even Kate Middleton was wearing very out-there fashion before she created her new persona when she got married - and she gets away from being mumsy because she's super skinny.

If it's an evening dress, it's perfectly suitable for diner in a restaurant. If people make the effort of getting off their jeans/ joggers and wear a dress , great.

Doesn’t sound like an evening dress though. It sounds like a clubbing dress.

Evening dress shows shoulders , breasts and arms in true sense of word. I agree with op. It sounds a sort of body con cut out dress. And not suitable for hotel dining.

People were fainting with horror at the mini skirt and trousers because they were new. There’s nothing new about a cut out dress. It’s where it’s worn that matters.

BlackCat14 · 19/02/2026 21:52

CurlyhairedAssassin · 19/02/2026 21:03

By the same token if someone is going to be taking the leggings and a hoodie off anyway when they go to the spa, it doesn't need to be leggings and a hoodie over the swimming costume, then, does it? It can be anything. It's possible to avoid something that's faded and saggy and worn out of shape that you'd normally only use if you were cleaning the bathroom, mucking a stable out, or painting and decorating, washing the car etc.

We've all got nicer, newer leggings and hoodies that you don't mind being seen in in public as they're newer and have their shape and colour still, and then there's the tatty old stuff only fit for doing jobs in case they get wrecked. What I saw on a couple of people was their tatty old stuff, so it seemed. What cleaners would wear, I suppose. Although the room attendants at the hotel were ironically much better dressed.

By the same token if someone is going to be taking the leggings and a hoodie off anyway when they go to the spa, it doesn't need to be leggings and a hoodie over the swimming costume, then, does it?

Yes because I want to be comfy. After a day in the spa I want to be able to throw my leggings and hoody back on, and then head back to my hotel for a nice long shower. I don’t want to be putting jeans or a nice dress on, just to do that.

nomas · 19/02/2026 22:09

CurlyhairedAssassin · 19/02/2026 15:37

Moaning about some behaviour of some people younger than me. No need for sweeping generalisations.

Except you did make a generalisation, you talked about the young generation, not just a few young people.

nomas · 19/02/2026 22:11

CurlyhairedAssassin · 19/02/2026 21:03

By the same token if someone is going to be taking the leggings and a hoodie off anyway when they go to the spa, it doesn't need to be leggings and a hoodie over the swimming costume, then, does it? It can be anything. It's possible to avoid something that's faded and saggy and worn out of shape that you'd normally only use if you were cleaning the bathroom, mucking a stable out, or painting and decorating, washing the car etc.

We've all got nicer, newer leggings and hoodies that you don't mind being seen in in public as they're newer and have their shape and colour still, and then there's the tatty old stuff only fit for doing jobs in case they get wrecked. What I saw on a couple of people was their tatty old stuff, so it seemed. What cleaners would wear, I suppose. Although the room attendants at the hotel were ironically much better dressed.

The more you post the more envious you seem of younger people and their freedom and independence.

DBSFstupid · 19/02/2026 22:24

Irememberwhenitwasallfieldsroundhere · 19/02/2026 13:38

I'm with you, it's horrible. There seems to be a general lack of regard for other people. Playing reels out loud is really rude.

It is horrible. Entitled revolting people. I have to work with some of them but can't say anything. I hate what the country has become and it's not just the UK that I'm seeing it.

DBSFstupid · 19/02/2026 22:26

nomas · 19/02/2026 22:11

The more you post the more envious you seem of younger people and their freedom and independence.

Nah. Afraid not. I despise many of them for their entitled, rude, selfish behaviour. It's how they've been schooled and brought up. You can't say anything in case you get accused of bullying.

CurlyhairedAssassin · 19/02/2026 22:33

YourGreenCat · 19/02/2026 21:22

You sound like an elderly provincial fuddy-duddy 😂

Women show their figure, if you are young slim and toned, gosh why wouldn't you! They should make the most of it while they can.

People were fainting in horror when women started to wear trousers, and lets not go to the 60s and the micro-dresses 😂

Fashion change, as long as it's appropriate and you actually wear clothes, what's wrong with it?

Even Kate Middleton was wearing very out-there fashion before she created her new persona when she got married - and she gets away from being mumsy because she's super skinny.

If it's an evening dress, it's perfectly suitable for diner in a restaurant. If people make the effort of getting off their jeans/ joggers and wear a dress , great.

I think your post just proves my point to be honest. People have lost their ability to be discerning about when and where it's appropriate to wear certain outfits.

OP posts:
YourGreenCat · 19/02/2026 22:36

ArseInTheCoOpWindow · 19/02/2026 21:40

Doesn’t sound like an evening dress though. It sounds like a clubbing dress.

Evening dress shows shoulders , breasts and arms in true sense of word. I agree with op. It sounds a sort of body con cut out dress. And not suitable for hotel dining.

People were fainting with horror at the mini skirt and trousers because they were new. There’s nothing new about a cut out dress. It’s where it’s worn that matters.

Edited

who said it's not suitable for hotel dining?

of course it is. Bianca Censori is ridiculous, and willingly outrageous, a cut-off dress is fine.

What are we supposed to wear for hotel dining? a Burqa?

CurlyhairedAssassin · 19/02/2026 22:50

nomas · 19/02/2026 22:11

The more you post the more envious you seem of younger people and their freedom and independence.

You might call it freedom and independence of "young people".. I call it entitled and inappropriate behaviour displayed by some young people.

There are plenty of young people in my family and extended family. Most of them wouldn't act or dress like how I witnessed in the situations I witnessed them in. A few in the extended family would. I don't particularly hold those people up as a beacon of freedom and independence, no. In the same way as I don't view the rest of us who DO change our behaviour or dress according to context, as being downtrodden or forced to conform.

OP posts:
CurlyhairedAssassin · 19/02/2026 22:51

BlackCat14 · 19/02/2026 21:52

By the same token if someone is going to be taking the leggings and a hoodie off anyway when they go to the spa, it doesn't need to be leggings and a hoodie over the swimming costume, then, does it?

Yes because I want to be comfy. After a day in the spa I want to be able to throw my leggings and hoody back on, and then head back to my hotel for a nice long shower. I don’t want to be putting jeans or a nice dress on, just to do that.

You'd have a robe for that, though.

OP posts:
CurlyhairedAssassin · 19/02/2026 22:53

DBSFstupid · 19/02/2026 22:24

It is horrible. Entitled revolting people. I have to work with some of them but can't say anything. I hate what the country has become and it's not just the UK that I'm seeing it.

What other countries are you seeing it in?

OP posts:
QuietComet · 19/02/2026 22:55

I think that every generation, once they reach a certain age, probably feel this way about the younger generation.

I'm sure young people in the 60s onwards were frowned upon by previous generations. And imagine the generation when women started wearing trousers!

DBSFstupid · 19/02/2026 23:01

CurlyhairedAssassin · 19/02/2026 22:53

What other countries are you seeing it in?

France, India, some of the states... it's the attitude.