Changing times? Surprising (to me) behaviour in hotel

[CurlyhairedAssassin]

I'm just back from a short break in a nice hotel in the Lakes. Fancy hotel in picturesque setting, spa etc. I don't know if I'm just getting old but I was surprised by some of the behaviour of a number of people there (who all looked to be in their 20s or early 30s). Is it just changing times or am I old-fashioned or what? Bear in mind that there are plenty of walkers who use the hotel and I haven't got any issue with less formal behaviour in the right context eg leaving dirty boots in the porch and walking to the bar in their socks.

Dress: fancy hotel restaurant. Women with skimpy, very flimsy dresses more suitable to a nightclub, at dinner. One had the front completely cut out from the bra part to below her waist. Apart from anything she must have been freezing. It was about 4 degrees outside, the fires were lit in the lounges etc, it was NOT a warm night.

Conversely at breakfast, when most people were just dressed casually but not scruffily (i.e. in jeans and jumper or t shirt, or walking trousers if they were going out walking for the day), the younger ones looked like they were taking the bins out or had literally just rolled out of bed, hair all dishevelled bed hair. Quite a few women in old leggings and an oversized hoodie, with slippers. One looked like they were wearing pyjamas. Men in obvious gym shorts and trainers. Clearly they weren't going in the gym straight after a big breakfast so had they just come in from the gym, and were putting their sweaty arses on the chairs? They all looked stand out sloppy compared to everyone else.

There were a couple of other little things which surprised me. After dinner a young woman sat in the lounge had her bare feet up on the low table where you'd put your drink or bar snacks. It was in front of the fire so maybe she was warming her feet but still.....yuck. Just not behaviour I've ever seen before in a nice hotel (or any hotel).

During dinner there was a load of noise from the table behind. Music etc which clashed with the music being played on the restaurant speakers. I turned round and there was a couple in their 20s just watching facebook reels or something on their own phones with volume on high, not interacting or talking to each other at all.

At breakfast, there was also noise from a screen which I could hear from the other end of the long dining room. Dora the Explorer or something on full blast on a screen being watched by a toddler while their parents and grandparents just chatted amongst themselves.

The nightclub gear at dinner is probably the one that didn't bother me that much: woman's right to choose what she wears etc, but the rest just surprised me. It just felt like a drop in standards of behaviour somehow. Not what you would have witnessed even 10 years back.

There was a much older guy in his late 70s or something who walked into the bar in the afternoon to meet some friends and he was dressed very stylishly in a jacket and shirt and was even wearing a hat (like a trilby kind of hat, not a beanie or something). He stuck out a mile, but in a good way. He had nice manners too. No bare feet up on the tables for him Made me wish a bit that we could go back a bit to the days when people made a bit more of an effort to make themselves presentable in public, and to avoid behaving in an anti-social manner.

Have times moved on, and I'm just not keeping up, or have standards of public behaviour dropped?

Fair enough the ipads but as far as clothes go a lot of people don't judge people on their clothes these days.

There's so many millionaires that walk around in tshirts and shorts whilst people who would love to be millionaires are trying to look well dressed/upper class.

People who have made it in life have no desire to impress you or anyone else, they are content with themselves with nothing to prove.

I would hate to have a lovely night stay in a hotel and all I can take from it is judging people's clothes.

I think when someone’s ‘look’ is quite elaborate, they look strangely dirty in the morning when their hair isn’t done, they are wearing leggings and hoodie with no makeup but massive eyelashes etc. both men and women like this tend to look like their hair is dirty, as well.

No reason they shouldn’t wear leggings or tracksuit bottoms and hoodie of course, but I dofind the unbrushed hair revolting.

The feet on the table is 🤢. And phones and iPads played out loud drives me mad. Hate children bringing them to meals anyway but at least use headphones.

It’s a shame. Even trash have money nowadays. We used to be able to go to these places to get away from them but now they’re everywhere. We have a very nice fine dining restaurant in our village. I now no longer go because it’s full of the ill-mannered scantily clad instagramers you describe. I used to love a “posh” night out. Now they bring their kids with their footballs who run around the place screeching. Restaurant too frightened to tell them to stop in case of a lawsuit.

As a student I worked at the Tourist Information Centre each summer and remember being grossed out when someone parked their sweaty beer belly on the counter. That was 30 odd years ago. Guess some people think anything goes on holiday

I’m with you too. I’m not sure how many other people are though! I’m in my early 40s and work in an office and miss the days when more people dressed smartly for work.

Middle age is 40-55, you sound a lot older than that, OP (sorry)!

I agree with you on people playing videos on their phone without headphones - that drives me mad. That’s because it has a direct effect on those around them - disrupting peace and quiet, clashing with music already being played in the hotel, etc. Everything else you’ve talked about just wouldn’t register. When I’m on a weekend away, I’m there to relax and spend quality time with DP. I just don’t care how other people are dressed. Why would I?

I really wouldn’t care or even notice any of this apart from people playing loud stuff on their phones/iPads during dinner. Why does it bother you what other people wear? Genuine question. How does it affect your experience? I suppose, at best if someone came to breakfast wear PJs, just rolled out of bed I’d secretly laugh at them but I wouldn’t let it interfere with MY experience. People like to relax on holiday, I certainly don’t dress up to go to a hotel. I want to chill with my comfy clothes on

I read recently about people in a hotel coming down for breakfast in their pyjamas! Surprisingly, many replies said they didn’t have an issue with it 😣

Standards have dropped a lot. My parents used to worry about properly cleaned shoes and wiping down your trainers and being clean , but it’s clearly not a problem for many. The loud music would annoy me more to be honest , but people just don’t care.

I kind of know what you mean, but I think the gym gear at breakfast is actually a good thing - lots of younger people pay more attention to health and fitness, I'd never have gone to the gym on holiday at 22 but nowadays I'd say 50% of under 30s on holiday hit the gym first thing and then go straight to breakfast for (I suspect) eggs, protein shakes, Greek yoghurt and fruit. Much better than dressing up but being unhealthy generally I think (in terms of health, wellbeing etc). Good for them. Loud phones at dinner is annoying. I wonder if a side effect of them all being gym bunnies (I say all, I'm sure it's not all) is they want to show off their bodies they work so hard for - fair enough really, go for it, I wish I could wear a cut out dress. The only thing on holiday that really annoys me is super loud groups, people up at night shouting/play music, tvs on loud etc that disturb other guests sleep or enjoyment. Currently at a hotel and everyone is appropriately dressed but I keep being woken at 1am by doors slamming and a tv blaring - super rude and annoying, I'd much rather see gym wear at the buffet.

As long as people actually dress for breakfast and don't rock up in onsies or pjs I couldn't care less. Screens with no headphones is downright bad mannered.

Yep, standards are generally plummeting (along with dire table manners)

I dont care what people wear, but screens with volume on anywhere in a shared indoor space gives me insane rage

Worst are the threads I’ve read where people in hospital are sitting using screens without head phones
and nobody cares. At least in a hotel you can get away eventually or try to avoid people who may annoy you , but in hospital there isn’t any chance and the staff are abused if they ask for them to turn it down or off.

I’m 45 and used to work in central London in my early 20s in a very posh office. Everyone used to wear heels (I’m glad people don’t wear heels so much now as it’s bad for your feet!), smart skirt suits, nude tights, smart jackets etc etc. It was very smart and you’d be completely out of place if you didn’t dress like that. Nowadays things are SO different. My dh works in an office and almost everyone wears joggers (!), crocs (!), basically whatever they like, and a lot of the time people are working from home more too since Covid so that’s changed things too. I know it depends on the industry people work in but there’s a huge shift in what’s acceptable now. I’m not really sure what I think about it all. On the one hand we shouldn’t judge people by appearances but there’s a part of me that feels like we’ve lost a sense of respect for situations, a desire to fit in and be part of a larger community maybe. It feels like no one knows how to behave in certain situations anymore and if you dare say anything everyone just says they don’t care 🤷 but sometimes it’s good to care! It shows you’re not a selfish arsewipe.

Not int The Lakes in February no. Jeans in the day and dress at night. Not with cut out bits though.

I wasn't sure they were outdoors or the lakes were deffo in the UK. But it still wouldn't bother me. Being noisy and rude etc might but not clothes.

This. What other people choose to wear (as long as they are clothed) has no bearing on me at all.

Bare feet would give me the ick, but I cant get too fussed about clothes or hair but fml can no one go anywhere without creating noise disruption/pollution from their phone? Clothes dont affect other people annoying behaviour and noise does!

Im such a grumpy old woman on train journeys just about every day listening to peoples shit , either without headphones, or with useless headphones so I can still hear it, or speaking on speakerphone. This evening I could hear "residual noise" (dont know if thats the right phrase) from 3 nearby people with "leaky" headphones....so you cant even say "please put headphones on" ....they have but I can still hear it....from 3 different sources! Aarghh. Apparently the answer is to wear headphones myself rather than hope people are less anti social!

I’m 45 and used to work in central London in my early 20s in a very posh office. Everyone used to wear heels (I’m glad people don’t wear heels so much now as it’s bad for your feet!), smart skirt suits, nude tights, smart jackets etc etc. It was very smart and you’d be completely out of place if you didn’t dress like that.

Agree re high heels. It's such progress that they're no longer the norm they once were in some sectors.

Yeah, I was brought up on "tits or arse, but not both at once". That's gone well out the window. The type of thing I'm talking about it like this dress. It's cheap, and it LOOKS cheap - the sort of thing that you used to only see in the windows of Ann Summers. You definitely wouldn't have worn it in a hotel restaurant at dinner. I don't know where style went when it comes to fashion, it must have gone out the window when Shein and Boohoo and all those online retailers went into business - there are no curated collections now, young women are just exposed to all sorts of quality including the nice stuff which allow them to show off their figures, and those which just make them look like a worse version of themselves.

See, you know that something's not a good look when MN needs to review the image first. 😆

You weren't at the Inn on the Lake by any chance?

You do still see plenty of walkers, though. I agree traffic is terrible. All the way from Windermere to Ambleside was one long queue of cars this week. I couldn't believe it. I don't think I've even seen it that bad on a nice summer's Saturday.

Your
‘tits and arse’ comment brought back memories of a song in A Chorus Line
I remember it off by heart ( Wierd ability to remember songs from musicals )
heres the relevant part

‘ tits an ass,
bought myself a fancy pair
tighten up the derrière
did the nose with it ‘
all that goes with it

Written in 1975…. who’d have known