Changing times? Surprising (to me) behaviour in hotel

[CurlyhairedAssassin]

I'm just back from a short break in a nice hotel in the Lakes. Fancy hotel in picturesque setting, spa etc. I don't know if I'm just getting old but I was surprised by some of the behaviour of a number of people there (who all looked to be in their 20s or early 30s). Is it just changing times or am I old-fashioned or what? Bear in mind that there are plenty of walkers who use the hotel and I haven't got any issue with less formal behaviour in the right context eg leaving dirty boots in the porch and walking to the bar in their socks.

Dress: fancy hotel restaurant. Women with skimpy, very flimsy dresses more suitable to a nightclub, at dinner. One had the front completely cut out from the bra part to below her waist. Apart from anything she must have been freezing. It was about 4 degrees outside, the fires were lit in the lounges etc, it was NOT a warm night.

Conversely at breakfast, when most people were just dressed casually but not scruffily (i.e. in jeans and jumper or t shirt, or walking trousers if they were going out walking for the day), the younger ones looked like they were taking the bins out or had literally just rolled out of bed, hair all dishevelled bed hair. Quite a few women in old leggings and an oversized hoodie, with slippers. One looked like they were wearing pyjamas. Men in obvious gym shorts and trainers. Clearly they weren't going in the gym straight after a big breakfast so had they just come in from the gym, and were putting their sweaty arses on the chairs? They all looked stand out sloppy compared to everyone else.

There were a couple of other little things which surprised me. After dinner a young woman sat in the lounge had her bare feet up on the low table where you'd put your drink or bar snacks. It was in front of the fire so maybe she was warming her feet but still.....yuck. Just not behaviour I've ever seen before in a nice hotel (or any hotel).

During dinner there was a load of noise from the table behind. Music etc which clashed with the music being played on the restaurant speakers. I turned round and there was a couple in their 20s just watching facebook reels or something on their own phones with volume on high, not interacting or talking to each other at all.

At breakfast, there was also noise from a screen which I could hear from the other end of the long dining room. Dora the Explorer or something on full blast on a screen being watched by a toddler while their parents and grandparents just chatted amongst themselves.

The nightclub gear at dinner is probably the one that didn't bother me that much: woman's right to choose what she wears etc, but the rest just surprised me. It just felt like a drop in standards of behaviour somehow. Not what you would have witnessed even 10 years back.

There was a much older guy in his late 70s or something who walked into the bar in the afternoon to meet some friends and he was dressed very stylishly in a jacket and shirt and was even wearing a hat (like a trilby kind of hat, not a beanie or something). He stuck out a mile, but in a good way. He had nice manners too. No bare feet up on the tables for him Made me wish a bit that we could go back a bit to the days when people made a bit more of an effort to make themselves presentable in public, and to avoid behaving in an anti-social manner.

Have times moved on, and I'm just not keeping up, or have standards of public behaviour dropped?

Noisy Reels and bare feet =punishable by death. The rest? Mind your own business and concentrate on your own dinner party.

I used to stay in a lot of very fancy hotels around the world when I was working - groups of us all together... and we used to joke that you could tell the people not staying in the hotel - only popping in for a cocktail/selfie/afternoon tea because they were dressed up. And we were always jeans and t shirt... our work wear!

I'm so with you. I'm late 50s and I really dislike hearing the sound from other people's mobiles as they watch films etc loudly with no headphones in public spaces.

I think it shows disrespect to fellow guests to turn up in pyjamas or sweaty gym gear for breakfast. Putting bare feet (or shoed feet) on the furniture is just gross. Yes I can ignore it - yes it's nothing to do with me - but I'll still mutter 'have some standards' to myself under my breath.

Can't get quite so bothered about someone wearing a skimpy dress to dinner - though I'd be thinking - 'she'll catch her death'.

But she's the one choosing to go to locations where people like this hang out? Saying she enjoys spending her holiday critiquing strangers appearances.

I‘m with you op.
I knew you’d get flamed on here, but showing some respect doesn’t go amiss.
Some people just can’t seem to manage it.

I noticed this a couple of years ago - flip flops and gym clothes at the theatre.

Then we went to the American Bar at the Savoy and we were the only ones not wearing nylon or football shirts.

I always prefer style over comfort when I’m out in public but maybe I’m weird.

Absolutely. A gentleman always removes his hat indoors.

I am 30 and no that’s not what I recognise of my friends or family. That’s obviously specific people having different etiquette to you. The phones out loud does my head in and the feet up is a bit odd

However some of your comments are just you overreacting. I don’t see why a hoodie and leggings to breakfast is an issue… it’s no different to jeans and a jumper imo. Or the gym shorts etc… that might just be their comfy breakfast clothing and looks no worse than walking trousers. All of those are casual clothes. And if women want to wear skimpy clothes well that’s their prerogative even if I wouldn’t do it. So long as all indecent parts are still covered.

I do agree it would be nice if people still dressed up smart and people were polite and quiet.

Why is it a joke that people dressed up to visit a nice hotel for afternoon tea or a drink?

I wondered that too. Casual clothes are, after all, usually very easy to wash. Probably more so than, say, the trilby and jacket OP admired.

I think dress codes have changed, and most places have become ... eclectic.

I was at a Church funeral and the younger people there -20's-30's-range, were wearing what I would have thought was 'club gear'- maybe the only black clothes they had, I dont know, but the women were wearing clinging, low topped, split to the crotch dresses, some with cut outs. They had full make up , hair done etc, and to be fair mostly looked amazing. (Oh to be young and beautiful) The men were wearing trousers and dress shirts mostly.
Having said that, I feel under-dressed if not wearing a polo neck and ankle length trousers mid August on the beach lol

What's wrong with coming down to breakfast on a walking holiday in an old pair of leggings and a hoodie? Good God

You only have to watch a TV Quiz Show for similar examples of how scruffy people have become - Pointless for example. You never saw the couples on 3,2,1 or The Generation Game in scruffy jeans or ill fitting clothing, people wore their best clothes.

I was referring to the PP who was talking about motorcycle gear. I dont know if pre or post motorcycling.

Doesnt bother me so much at breakfast/ pool bar etc. But i remember just 10 years ago you couldnt enter fancy restaurants or casinos without elegant clothing. Now all i see are shorts and flip flops 😱
Im not even 40 yet, but very sad about this change. DH and I love dressing up for holidays and date nights. We always feel so overdressed when looking around though.

So many people just don't know how to behave in public nowadays.

I'm not bothered what people wear but when it comes to noise (talking loudly, playing devices without headphones, spreading themselves and their stuff everywhere) It is as though people now treat public spaces as if they are in their own living room. Be it planes, cinemas, public transport etc etc. No manners and no consideration for anyone around them and everyone is too afraid to speak up as the kind of people that behave like this are likely to kick off.

Manners maketh man, Unfortunately many people lack them and it's only going to get worse as those who don't know how to behave have children.

Same on public transport - young girls taking the train to the coast wearing thong bikinis sitting on seats and tables - ffs get dressed. I don't want to sit on your excretions or others putting their feet on the seats. Absolute feral pigs.

Brushing your hair and getting changed out of nightwear has nothing to do with fashion and everything to do with your own standards and manners towards others.
It is time restaurants, pubs, hotels etc clamped down and insisted in minimum dress standards and banned customers from using sound on devices.

Motorcycling isn't usually a sweaty occupation in the UK, in fact the opposite (chilly) most of the time. There's no reason for a person to stink of BO just because they have a motorbike, particularly at breakfast before they have gone out for the day.

Minimum dress standards? Blimey, do you want there to be any pubs left?

I am from Ambleside.
The lakes as a destination now seems to have morphed into a drinking space for townies.

It attracts people that didn't used to come, or want to. Marketing has worked very well, and a lot of the year round visitors are the economically solvent working class. It was once seen as a stuffy, boring place for those who might have preferred Magaluf, but it has seen a surge of interest from UK break seekers in recent years.
This has been the result of 3 converging elements: Social media, World Heritage Status, the pandemic.

Dog walkers and hikers seem to move further north now, and stick to the less commercial areas.

In Windermere, for example, only ten years ago you saw colourful rucksacks filling the streets, looking for lunch passing through. Now, I'd say the vast majority of visitors to the holiday lets are younger, and tend not to move more than 4 feet from their vehicle. It's either tapas or trendy ale, and few go out of the house unless nipping to the co op.
Instead of muddy boots and rucksacks you are more likely to see high heels and pretty dresses, mermaid hair, etc.

It's very different, and unless you head up into the hills it is a nightmare of clogged traffic and loud vehicles.

None of this is a criticism, it's just an observation. There are still plenty middle class hippies in Ambleside, the wealthier ones wear Toast, and the rest of us (like me) are still shuffling around in Mountain Warehouse (or Fjallraven on special days, lol).

I love it though and always will. The people may come and go, but the spirit of the place will never alter <3

What do you wear for breakfast in a hotel?
If you were visiting the spa for the day, would you have put a fancy outfit on for half an hour for breakfast, and then gone back to your room to change into your relaxation clothes?

People are scruffy and get scruffier by the day.

I’m old and can remember a dress code for clubs and discos!
No trainers, the men had to wear proper tailored trousers. The bouncers were totally brutal back then. Scruffy dress and you were shown the door

Pubs were not as fussy, but people did tend to dress smartly. Maybe it’s just a generation thing these days , but hospitality need the punters and any dress codes are a rare thing now.