Changing times? Surprising (to me) behaviour in hotel

[CurlyhairedAssassin]

I'm just back from a short break in a nice hotel in the Lakes. Fancy hotel in picturesque setting, spa etc. I don't know if I'm just getting old but I was surprised by some of the behaviour of a number of people there (who all looked to be in their 20s or early 30s). Is it just changing times or am I old-fashioned or what? Bear in mind that there are plenty of walkers who use the hotel and I haven't got any issue with less formal behaviour in the right context eg leaving dirty boots in the porch and walking to the bar in their socks.

Dress: fancy hotel restaurant. Women with skimpy, very flimsy dresses more suitable to a nightclub, at dinner. One had the front completely cut out from the bra part to below her waist. Apart from anything she must have been freezing. It was about 4 degrees outside, the fires were lit in the lounges etc, it was NOT a warm night.

Conversely at breakfast, when most people were just dressed casually but not scruffily (i.e. in jeans and jumper or t shirt, or walking trousers if they were going out walking for the day), the younger ones looked like they were taking the bins out or had literally just rolled out of bed, hair all dishevelled bed hair. Quite a few women in old leggings and an oversized hoodie, with slippers. One looked like they were wearing pyjamas. Men in obvious gym shorts and trainers. Clearly they weren't going in the gym straight after a big breakfast so had they just come in from the gym, and were putting their sweaty arses on the chairs? They all looked stand out sloppy compared to everyone else.

There were a couple of other little things which surprised me. After dinner a young woman sat in the lounge had her bare feet up on the low table where you'd put your drink or bar snacks. It was in front of the fire so maybe she was warming her feet but still.....yuck. Just not behaviour I've ever seen before in a nice hotel (or any hotel).

During dinner there was a load of noise from the table behind. Music etc which clashed with the music being played on the restaurant speakers. I turned round and there was a couple in their 20s just watching facebook reels or something on their own phones with volume on high, not interacting or talking to each other at all.

At breakfast, there was also noise from a screen which I could hear from the other end of the long dining room. Dora the Explorer or something on full blast on a screen being watched by a toddler while their parents and grandparents just chatted amongst themselves.

The nightclub gear at dinner is probably the one that didn't bother me that much: woman's right to choose what she wears etc, but the rest just surprised me. It just felt like a drop in standards of behaviour somehow. Not what you would have witnessed even 10 years back.

There was a much older guy in his late 70s or something who walked into the bar in the afternoon to meet some friends and he was dressed very stylishly in a jacket and shirt and was even wearing a hat (like a trilby kind of hat, not a beanie or something). He stuck out a mile, but in a good way. He had nice manners too. No bare feet up on the tables for him Made me wish a bit that we could go back a bit to the days when people made a bit more of an effort to make themselves presentable in public, and to avoid behaving in an anti-social manner.

Have times moved on, and I'm just not keeping up, or have standards of public behaviour dropped?

Couldn’t agree more. I hope she felt amazing and had a lovely time. I look back at my late teens/early 20s and smile thinking about some of the “fashions” I wore. All very cheap as well as it was all I could afford. If some frumpy middle aged woman looked down on me for my clothes, I believe it says more about her than it does about me!

Oh I remember being young, say 18-21, and other students turning up to lectures in tracksuits/ bedroom clothes as a norm. I used to usually go in a pencil skirt and heels, definitely hair done and some make-up on. Apparently they had some nicknames for me behind my back 😆

I just come from a different cultural background where different things are considered aspirational and acceptable, and the older I get the more I accept this and my own identity. Just because most people wear something doesn't mean one should go along with it. Just like with video calling your boyfriend from a crowded train without headphones or having an OF account 😉

People can indeed wear what they like and whatever they are comfortable in. I have actually been socially pressured to wear tracksuits and trainers by various people in my life over the years, as that's 'normal' and 'what everybody does'.

It's about being comfortable and comfortable in your own skin, and like the people that wear tracksuits and trainers out of choice, I choose leather boots, pink dresses, Chanel suits and classic trenches. Just wish my people weren't such a dying tribe.

Nothing makes me feel as old as when I see the scruffiness of young people in massive grey tracksuit bottoms etc. As a non tik tok user I wonder if it's a social media things with loads of people appearing in 'public in pj's etc and it's considered a bit try-hard to wear anything even remotely structured.

But she must have stayed in a hotel before?
Not in my world, and perhaps not in a lots of people's. I'd barely stayed in any hotels at 18; my family couldn't ever have afforded to go on that sort of holiday or have short breaks or anything like that. We stayed in B&Bs (cheap ones) a couple of times when we had to be at the south coast early the next day to get a ferry, but that was it.

I agree OP. Last year I was staying at a nearby 5 star hotel and there was a few people who came to breakfast in pyjamas. I complained about it. I haven’t returned so no idea if the the hotel has implemented a breakfast dress code. I’d always challenge people having devices with sound on in public places. It’s just ignorant.

Not in my world either. I never stayed in a hotel with my parents. But the first time I did stay in a hotel when I was 19, I wouldn’t have gone anywhere outside the hotel bedroom in my pyjamas.

I don’t care about the clothes. What really annoys me is the watching stuff on screens without headphones or really loud phone conversations. Happens in airport lounges and hotels a lot and drives me mad.

Also lots of people don’t like hotels
Im really not a fan ( although we have if it’s a particular hotel )

We mainly stay in self catering accommodation
Other choices include camping and caravaning

As a child we never stayed in hotels and think I was in my mid 20s before I did

So I agree
Lots of people may be on their first hotel stay
Its not an excuse for not getting dressed for breakfast though.

I mean I'd dress for dinner but not inappropriately and id definitely get properly dressed for breakfast and get washed etc before coming down to eat

It's not acceptable at all, the hotel should have better standards and insist on people wearing proper clothing whilst dining at least - a lot of towns, especially abroad, are fining people for being underdressed in public paces away from the beach, and quite right too. And people's music is not acceptable at loud enough volumes to interfere with what other people are listening to. I don't understand this modern trend for people to share their music with everyone else, I want to listen to my own music not someone else's. It's certainly not acceptable in a hotel where people are dining and probably trying to get away from everyday life to relax. I wouldn't want to experience any of this on my hard earned trip away.

When I was a child we stayed in a guest house in the Isle of Man. A man came down to breakfast in his striped pyjamas. Everyone was outraged and he was quickly sent away to get dressed. Later at dinner my mum saw him dipping his bread in his soup. She decided he was a bad mannered lout! Yes times have changed.

I live here. There's definitely been a downshift in people's consideration for others. A few years ago, we'd see the odd dog poop bag. Now, on our two hour walk, there's loads of dropped lip gloss (PLouise ones stood out, maybe they were once attached to a keyring, idk) and loads of rubbish.

I hate seeing Instagrammers promoting the Lakes. It's brought all the idiots. We have a few of our own, we were never perfect, but you can tell a tourist from a mile off. They seem to treat the place like their own luxurious resort with little care for the environment or anyone around them.
Like I said, our locals aren't exactly high class but we generally dress for the weather and most took pride in leaving no trace while out walking.

I’m with you OP!

The music playing etc I agree with. It's antisocial and impolite. But I just don't care what other people are wearing on holiday.

It feels like you're setting yourself up to have a rubbish time if the very sight of strangers wearing clothing the wrong size or style for your liking evokes so much disgust.

Ps The Lakes has been spoilt by some people who think it’s Disney. They also park wherever they like including passing places on tiny roads and don’t observe country code especially with dogs/gates/BBQs etc
Sorry to highjack your post OP but it’s part and parcel of similar attitudes to the Lake District, particularly since Covid times.

Do you think it's ok to go somewhere like (for example) Harrods wearing hardly anything? No. (I didn't mention anything about wearing the wrong size clothing.) I just actively avoid places where there is a risk of people who obviously can't be arsed getting dressed and flashing flesh while others are trying to eat a meal, that ensures we always enjoy our holidays so don't you worry about us having a rubbish time.
It's called standards.

Yes and it's not just here. We were on holiday in South America last year and I was shocked that there were people in restaurants watching videos on their phones with volume full blast and toddlers on planes allowed to watch tablets for hours at a time who then had massive tantrums when they were forcibly turned off for landing.

I'm not the kind of person who would go to Harrods. I consider it to be the height of bad taste. 😂

People want comfort not style these days and while I wouldn’t do most if what you describe I wouldn’t be shocked about it either .

You are not making much sense.
What's your issue?

obviously can't be arsed getting dressed so you are offended by people wearing nightwear? (and I 100% with you there)

flashing flesh so wearing an occasion outfit that you don't approve of?

The 2 are quite a different issue.

somewhere like (for example) Harrods Harrods is just a tourist attraction, hardly the capital of fashion

wearing hardly anything.. such as what? Many of us wear smart shorts, I even wear them at work - and it's very corporate.

A crop top? It's fashionable for the young ones, and if someone has their abs showing a little bit, no one will faint. We don't have a moral police here.

The world is now a different place.
Grow up and just enjoy your lovely break.
Just for context i am 74 and still feel mentally 21!!!!!

Yup, things are SO much worse OP. Trashy selfish cunts everywhere.

She may very well not have stayed in a hotel before, plenty of us hadn't at 18. But let's say she has, it doesn't actually sound like they necessarily misjudged the norm.

They came down in hoodies plus pyjama bottoms, and while nobody else was dressed like this initially, another guest then came down in pyjamas. What that tells us is that there were multiple parties in nightwear. Which would rather suggest that there wasn't one single norm and culture. Just like where you stayed.

To be fair to him… it’s not like he could take the tag off. Is he meant to stop living his life?

Agree with you OP, especially screens when I can hear them. Does my head in and I wouldn't dream of doing it myself and I would be so self conscious. Young 'uns just don't care about others imo.