Do you think it's a good idea to pool money together and live with my Mum?

[Jennypenny234]

My Mum and I were chatting about how we'd both love to have a detached bungalow, and she suggested we sell our houses and buy one between us, we'd ensure we had our own separate living rooms and bathrooms for space, but I'd feel better knowing I'm near her if she needs me, and Mum would also feel happier, has anyone done this?

We both own our homes outright, both are happily single, but Mum's 81 and I wouldn't want her to go into a nursing home, and she definitely doesn't want that either. I'd be happy to care for her if I possibly can as she gets older, and on paper it sounds a good idea for us to combine money from our assets.

I don't know what the implications could be though if Mum became eventually too poorly for me to look after and she needed to be in a home (hopefully it wouldn't come to that), could we be made to sell our new home to pay for her care?

Ihave to echo what others have said.
Living with and caring for someone takes over your life.
You might end up in a situation where its a struggle to go to work, let alone have any social life. Holidays can be out of the question.
4 care visits a day can leave a lot of time for her to be alone.
If she has capacity she can refuse outside care however much she needs it. She will have the right to make her own decisions however unwise they may be, and the right to be in her own home. This means that you, in that situation, will be left with precious few choices. While you technically have the right not to be her carer, you have to think what that would be like in real life. It would be an unfair situation on you both.
It's not at all stretching reality to take into consideration how you would feel if her health deteriorated and you were suddenly living with someone who is up in the night, toilets in inappropriate places, and needs a special diet or regular appointments for varying things.
It could all be fine and rosy, of course, but I definitely wouldn't voluntarily gamble on that.
The impact on your own physical and mental health could be huge if her ability to care for herself deteriorates, and your world could suddenly become very small.

Thank you , I'm taking your post on board too and seriously thinking about what to do for the best for both my mum and myself.