What would you think if you saw someone with a black eye

[DC555]

Hello, I got hit by a car this week while riding my bike. I’m incredibly lucky to have walked away from it with just some scrapes and bruises on my legs and a very swollen cut and bruised face, eye and cheek.

I’ve been hibernating at home for a couple of days but have had to venture out today and felt a bit like everyone was staring at me, which may well have been in my head!

So, what would your first thoughts be if you saw someone at the school gates or the supermarket with a bad black eye? Would you judge them? Assume they got in a fight? Or barely think anything of it?

I accidentially gave Mr Monkey a black eye once. We were on holiday and came back from a bar a bit tipsy and leaned over to kiss me. I woke up suddenly, disortientated and in a panic (I had gone to bed early as I had had bit of a dodgy tummy) and accidentially elbowed him in the face. I was mortified and he sported a right shiner for the rest of the holiday. Luckily it was summer so he wore sunglasses most of the time.

People at work did ask when he got back.

I'd think they'd had some sort of accident.

I’d assume you were as clumsy as me. I faceplanted the pavement last year and gave myself two shiners.

Having suffered from a black eye three times, I’d just think ouch! Wonder how you got that?

I sustained one in a car accident, one when I had an op on my sinuses, and the third … hit my head on an up and over tap in the ladies restroom in a Greek taverna! There was no light in the room and I bent over the sink to splash my face ….

Female- domestic violence, male been in a fight.
Elderly of either sex- fallen over

Hope your mum got away from him 💗

I'd mostly think "Ouch, that looks painful" and then move on. If they were a friend I'd say 'what on earth happened?'.

Don't worry - people don't (unless they live very rough lives) assume you've been fighting.

First thought would be that looks sore. I’ve given myself a stunner of a black eye as I tripped in the garden and smacked my face into a planter. I found people were sympathetic/ curious. So be prepared to repeat your story a lot but also to listen to other people’s random stories of how they got black eyes.

My mum reacts badly to mosquitoes and got bitten on the first day of theholiday and her eye swelled up. Random strangers spent the next week telling my stepfather he should be ashamed of himself.

My mum was really affronted as there was an implication that he shouldn’t be hitting her on holiday like it’d be ok the other 50 weeks of the year. It was the 90s though.

Hope you're okay and recovering OP. I had facial injuries from a car crash once (black eye, broken nose and bruises/burns). We were in Aldi once and people kept staring at me and DH. He went off to get something and someone actually came over and asked if I was safe and needed help getting away from him. I did appreciate it but it made me feel absolutely terrible. I know she was only trying to be helpful and you never know what's going on but I felt so bad knowing that people saw him and were thinking that of him

I would probably just think someone had an accident like me or something if I saw a black eye

I’d assume they were as clumsy as me! I walked around with a black eye for over a week, after picking Henry Hoover up whilst the hose was balanced on the back and smacking myself in the eye with it 🤣

Depends who it was. Rugby players, farmers etc - BAU. Others, I'd probably assume accident or possibly DV.

My last one was swinging from the ledge over the stairs down the last few when I was back home. Only I'm taller than when I was 10... The bloke who was interviewing me for a job the next day was a rugby player, so thought it entirely normal... (not that I got the job, but I don't think it was because of the black eye.)

I once shut my head in a car door and gave myself a black eye. A few people at work did ask if my husband had done it and if I needed any support. I was both horrified that they thought that, and also pleased they felt able to ask.

I would wonder how they did it. I got to use the 'walked into a door' line once. Our pantry door opens into an awkward space & angle. My foot hit the inside of the door as I opened it, door bounced back and whacked me right in the eye.

Thank you and yes, he beat her because she left for other controlling tendancies. I can tell you that woman does not put up with anything😂. Her bar is very high as it should be.

I'm glad you were asked and I hope your DH was too
Its a bit like DBS, I know I have nothing to hide but am very happy to do it so that children and vulnerable adults can be safer.
The more we are open about the reality of MVAWG the more women will feel able to seek help. This is on men too, the decent men need to accept the chance that someone will approach a woman they care for and check she's OK.

And whoever it was was right to wait till you were alone and not confront your DH as that could make things so much worse.

A little embarassing for you perhaps but a risk worth taking for the person trying to help

I almost permanently have a black eye or some other obvious facial injury from fight training.

People stare. People ask. People tut. People cross the road to avoid me. People performatively pretend not to notice.

The secret is to not give a shit.

In answer to your question, I'd assume an injury from sport but I'm biased because I hang out a lot with fighters who are always injured.