What would you think if you saw someone with a black eye

[DC555]

Hello, I got hit by a car this week while riding my bike. I’m incredibly lucky to have walked away from it with just some scrapes and bruises on my legs and a very swollen cut and bruised face, eye and cheek.

I’ve been hibernating at home for a couple of days but have had to venture out today and felt a bit like everyone was staring at me, which may well have been in my head!

So, what would your first thoughts be if you saw someone at the school gates or the supermarket with a bad black eye? Would you judge them? Assume they got in a fight? Or barely think anything of it?

I’d think “oh look DC555 has a black eye, I wonder how that happened?”

I’d assume they were just as clumsy as me 😉
I gave myself a swollen eye two weeks ago with my handbag strap getting into the passenger seat of the car. DH said words failed him 🤣🤣🤣

I would assume they had some kind of accident rather than being hit.

I’d assume either an accident or domestic violence. (Sadly I’ve met too many of the latter that when a woman has visible bruises I generally assume a man who’s supposed to love her has done it.)

Nothing really.

At the school gate I would have said “oh my goodness, you poor thing, what happened?” In any other circumstances, without any more information I would think “Oh, the poor thing-I wonder what happened”

Thanks everyone. I hope most people will assume an accident. I’d hate to think anyone might wonder about my lovely lovely DH. It’s been a traumatic enough week without having to deal with that!

I probably wouldn't notice. If I noticed I probably wouldn't spend time wondering how.

I'd assume they'd had an accident.

The last person I know, who had a black eye, was my husband. I shook him awake at 3am to change our newborns nappy and he leapt out of bed too vigorously. Immediately fainted and face planted the floor. His face was a mess for weeks.

I never woke him to change a nappy again so that's one way to get out of it 🤷‍♀️

Oh- she’s “walked into a door.” Again.

DH seems to have one permanently at the moment. He decided it was a good idea to take up rugby in his 40s. I haven't been sympathetic.

I would presume accident tbh.

I don’t think that’s the first thing that would occur to anyone , it wouldn’t to me .
I’d think you’d had an accident.

I;'d think someone had hit them, or they'd had an accident.

I would not automatically assume they had been in a fight.

This. I actually asked the last woman I knew with one. She was leaving a job and before she did I wanted to check in that she wasn't giving up money as part of a control issue.

All good, it was fine.

But black eyes are actually quite hard to get accidentally (because we protect our eyes reflexively). Deliberate ones are common. So I check in.

I wouldn’t think anything to be honest.

Ok, so this would be my immediate thought

A woman, I would assume domestic violence. With a man under about 40 , I'd assume fighting or rugby. Above 40 I'd assume assaulted. Teenagers under 18 of either sex I'd assume rugby or accident.

I once tripped and went flying down a full flight of stairs, somehow managed to land on my feet and didn't break anything. But I must have jolted my body in some way because over the next day or so the most beautiful shiner developed in one of my eye sockets. And yes I had to explain it to EVERYONE.

If there were other cuts or scrapes i'd think fall/accident.

A neat black eye with bruised cheek - i'd thinking 50% chance of violence.

I'm not sure, I wouldn't automatically assume fighting ir dv, but probably wouldn't think about it too much if it was someone I didn't know anyway. Last black eye in the family was when my then 5 year old rolled out of bed on holiday onto the hard floor. I was worried people might think we were mistreating the poor thing!

I gave myself a horrific black eye once when I slipped on black ice and faceplanted. I hit my forehead, but the bruise then all drained down into my eye. Anyway, I'm just here to say that I learnt a lot about concealers in contrasting colours over the next few weeks - it still looked horrific, but much less noticeable, especially from a distance. You want yellow and peachy orange at first, then more kind of purple tones when it starts to go yellow.

If they look like a mum of young children I'd assume accidental toddler headbut. I've had it happen to me more than once.

A lady at work did ask me quietly if everything was OK though.

My mum had several horse-related black eyes over the years (being catapulted face first into a jump, and our moody mare launching at her on another occassion) and she was probed by friends and colleagues if my (lovely and very gentle) dad had hit her. So I'm afraid most people immediately leap to domestic violence, but are genuinely worried for you rather than being judgmental.

I wouldn't automatically assume fighting. I had a shiner of a black eye a few years back. Was so desperate for the loo I wasn't paying attention and ran into a public bathroom door. DP was grateful it happened on a day out with my family and they saw me do it. otherwise I think he'd have felt quite uncomfortable at me genuinely telling people I'd walked into a door. Gave everyone a laugh afterwards at least. My general thought unless there's something else suspicious is "ooh that looks sore", and that's it.

About 20 years ago I turned up to work with an absolute shiner, it was the 2nd January.
No amount of makeup could hide it and I had a public facing roll 🤦‍♀️

Every single person I spoke to was lovely, my boss, work colleagues and customers.
I heard loads of stories about how people had ended up with random black eyes.
Everything from being head butted by a dog to falling on a vac.

My first thought would be , omg did that happen while they were opening a bottle of wine???? Ask me how I know how…. And yes, it happened exactly as you are imagining it.