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Why would one family have so much neurodivergence

110 replies

telewubbies · 01/02/2026 20:10

I’m autistic, my son is autistic, my sister has quite profound learning difficulties and asd, my other sister has adhd, two of her kids have adhd, I’m sure my mum also has adhd. My brothers ds is autistic and he himself is most likely undiagnosed as he’s always had his ways !

Do you think alot of families are like this ? It just seems every one of us has something and it seems like alot.
Obviously it’s a genetic thing but I wonder what actually causes those genetics?

OP posts:
ResusciAnnie · 01/02/2026 20:13

Well yes, as you say it runs in families. Just like other genetic factors.

ItsStillWork · 01/02/2026 20:17

its because it’s hereditary.

an autistic person creating a child has a 50% chance of passing that autism on

savemetoo · 01/02/2026 20:21

I have autism, dyspraxia and dyslexia all through my family on one side. Neurodiversity tends to run in families.

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Shouldbedoing · 01/02/2026 20:25

I think ND people are attracted to each other, too, which only strengthens the genes.

FuzzyWolf · 01/02/2026 20:27

I agree that ND are attracted to each other or else find comfort in knowing they feel normal in a relationship with someone else who is ND. As a result, the genetic link strengthens.

My family are all ND and all my children are.

HarryVanderspeigle · 01/02/2026 20:30

Yes genetics. Evolutionary speaking, adhd was probably an advantage in a hunter gathering society with having the focus and energy to hunt. Lower support needs autism probably allowed people to put up with the repetitive early farming days and having the special interest to become a really good blacksmith. Kids having meltdowns would have it beaten out of them and been temporarily more compliant, although probably unhappier.

Modern life classes neurodivergence as a disorder and makes a lot of life more difficult.

CarrierbagsAndPJs · 01/02/2026 20:31

People with asd are more likely to have a child with someone who also has asd and then it is hereditary.

Pepperedpickles · 01/02/2026 20:31

Well our whole family has autism / adhd etc etc. It’s fairly common I think.

canuckup · 01/02/2026 20:33

Yes because it's hereditary

DustyMaiden · 01/02/2026 20:33

My family is the same.

topsecretcyclist · 01/02/2026 21:14

My second son has autism and learning disabilities. When he was diagnosed I thought it came from his dad's side of the family because my stepson is autistic, and so is one of their cousins, plus there's also dyspraxia and dyslexia. One of their cousin's children are now being assessed. My ex and his parents are/were probably autistic too. Then my youngest was diagnosed with adhd and autism and as I filled out his questionnaires I found myself thinking "surely this is all normal, I do all these things". I'm now diagnoses with autism, probably have adhd too. My late brother definitely had adhd.

So genetics, and like attracts like. Explains why the few friends I have have either adhd, autism, or both.

Sensibletrousers · 01/02/2026 21:19

My mum is ND, my sister is ND, both my sons are ND, my maternal grandmother and great aunts were all brilliant and, with the greatest respect, mad as a box of frogs…

I’m undiagnosed but pretty certain I am too…

Neurodivergence is not a disorder. Nature doesn’t make that kind of mistake. Humans are as neurologically diverse as they are physically diverse. And humanity needs all neurotypes to survive and thrive. Hence we are able to reproduce and are building families all over the place!

There is no “typical” or “normal” way to be a human. Psychiatry has a lot to answer for as it was a bunch of wealthy old white men who decided what behaviours were acceptable (aka useful to society / economy) which just happened to be their preferred behaviours and culture. Any behaviours outside that have been declared “disordered”. It’s all down to patriarchy, capitalism and white supremecy. Nonsense, IMHO…

My brain and nervous system works how it works, and I need what I need, and I and my ancestors and kids all bring value to the world. That’s it!

ZiggyZowie · 01/02/2026 21:22

I'm autistic and have personality disorder and my daughter and son have autism.
My other daughter has global learning delay.
My nephew is mentally ill and I grew up with a father who had bi polar, and I had two brothers ,one had paranoid schizophrenia and was put in a padded cell,given ect,
the other brother was labelled a catatonic schizophrenic.
So yes I think it's hereditary.

Elderlycatparent002 · 01/02/2026 21:22

Autism is primarily genetic. So this is not very surprising.

Davros · 01/02/2026 21:25

I believe it is primarily genetic but not solely. Loads of it in my family

SayWhatty · 01/02/2026 21:26

Genetic inheritance.
Plus, in my experience anyway, ND people are often drawn to relationships with other ND people. So we double up on the genes!

LadyKenya · 01/02/2026 21:28

Sensibletrousers · 01/02/2026 21:19

My mum is ND, my sister is ND, both my sons are ND, my maternal grandmother and great aunts were all brilliant and, with the greatest respect, mad as a box of frogs…

I’m undiagnosed but pretty certain I am too…

Neurodivergence is not a disorder. Nature doesn’t make that kind of mistake. Humans are as neurologically diverse as they are physically diverse. And humanity needs all neurotypes to survive and thrive. Hence we are able to reproduce and are building families all over the place!

There is no “typical” or “normal” way to be a human. Psychiatry has a lot to answer for as it was a bunch of wealthy old white men who decided what behaviours were acceptable (aka useful to society / economy) which just happened to be their preferred behaviours and culture. Any behaviours outside that have been declared “disordered”. It’s all down to patriarchy, capitalism and white supremecy. Nonsense, IMHO…

My brain and nervous system works how it works, and I need what I need, and I and my ancestors and kids all bring value to the world. That’s it!

Beautiful.

Kokorokokooo · 01/02/2026 21:29

My observation is genetic and or older parents.

abathofmilkwithladydi · 01/02/2026 21:30

@Sensibletrousersyour comment is beautiful. Loveliest and most sensible thing I’ve read in a bloody long time.

CinnamonBuns67 · 01/02/2026 21:32

Both my brothers are ASD, my DD like your sister has profound learning difficulties and ASD, I suspect my mother has ASD and that my grandad (her father) did too. ASD is quite prevalent in my husbands family too.

landlordhell · 01/02/2026 21:33

My understanding is it is hereditary. I have no asd \ adhd in my wider family or DH’s but know some families that have several members

PieLoe · 01/02/2026 21:35

Yes. Genetic. Yep. My kids have stuff. DH didn’t admit at first. We realised it’s in both sides. Fair & square.

Also if a child has problems… look yourself in the mirror. That was advice I took on board. True. I find it really interesting. And indeed some of my family, it explains a lot of behaviours in other relatives.

Never boring! :)
We celebrate being different.
It’s positive.

Years ago the parents were to blame but genes have a lot to answer for.

PieLoe · 01/02/2026 21:38

@LadyKenyaexactly! 💓 beautiful

Brassknucks · 01/02/2026 21:39

My family is so ND I swear the dog needs an ehcp

stomachamelon · 01/02/2026 21:54

@Sensibletrousersthat’s lovely. And reframes things :)

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