Is work part of your identity?

[Sockskeepmyfeetwarm]

I was previously a teacher. It was definitely part of how I identified myself. I burnt out from teaching and the thing that I found most difficult was redefining who I was from who I thought I was.

I now work in a job which alines with my values so much. I remind myself that it is just a job and try to keep my boundaries in place but I am slowly feeling like it is again forming part of my identity. It is an emotive role and I wonder if this is part of the reason it impacts me on this level. Or are my boundaries not as strong as I thought?

What are other’s thoughts on this?

It is 3:09am and I have been awake for 2 hours so chances are, I am talking nonsense. Happy to accept that view also

Yes, my career is part of my identity.

Definitely not. I'm retired now but when I worked it was simply to earn money, nothing more. I never wanted a career, it just wasn't who I am.

Yes, always. Even when I was doing temp jobs as a young 'un, I took pride in them and identified with them. If I couldn't see a way to care about my work, i quit.

Yes, deeply though i have an ambivalent relationship to it. Makes the prospect of retirement hard.

Yes I was also a teacher and still
Work in education. I am proud of what I do and the young people I work with. I have tried to leave and explore other options but always come back.

I started a thread about this recently, will try and find it.

I'm mid 40s and have had a few jobs. I'm undiagnosed ADHD and looking back the ones I enjoyed most were the ones with a sense of purpose, which aligned with my values, and I'd kind of obssess over in a way. They became my passion project, I'd hyper-focus, do a deep-dive...then get bored 18 months later and move on.

Sorry you got burnt out as a teacher 😪

Yes it is, but I was a SAHM for a few years when my DC were little and that was part of my identity at the time. So I think it's normal for something you spend many hours doing every single day to become part of your identity. I don't see this as a bad thing or having poor boundaries (unless you take it too far and it takes over your life).

Here you go. I asked if people's careers defined them...a few teachers responded:

https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/_chat/5432354-do-you-feel-your-jobcareer-defines-you

Yes it is. I’m a speech therapist and being able to say that is a big part of me.

I do notice as I get closer to retirement that I am just starting to detach and to wonder what else I am. But I retrained in my late 30s so it’s not like this has always been me.

It used to when I worked for the charity sector. Then I had kids and found the emotional part of my job so annoying. I now work a corporate desk based job. I really like it but it doesn’t define me. I only work to provide for the family. I would much rather be a stay at home mum.

Yes it does. I think it's normal if you have an interesting and/or meaningful job because you take pride in what you do (e.g. DD has a casual job as a lifeguard, that tells you she is sporty and that she cares about people, both of which are true).

Yes it usually is. But I've had 12 months out looking for work (redundancy). I'm in Cornwall and the job market is dire. I've never ever known it this bad.

so without a job, no career, and at age 40, I don't really have an identity anymore . I feel invisible and it's causing a mental health slump ☹️

After being a bit of a rolling stone when it came to jobs/ job hopper ( diagnosed ADHD) I am finally in a job is enjoy and feel part of the organization ( senior-ish role) and its definitely part of my identity now. Hpw could it not be, I spend most of my time either working or thinking about work.

Yes - I wanted to do my job since I was a little kid so it’s been an huge focus of my effort over many years, and I am very passionate about it.

I think how someone chooses to spend a significant proportion of their time and energy does say a lot about them, and define them to a certain extent.

Unfortunately yes .. nurse for 30+ years and would like to detach but don’t seem able to do so .

Yes working in my industry does feel like part of who I am, I work in a very creative industry and it definitely feels ‘me’.

I left for a little while and worked in the private sector and had almost culture shock I guess at how different it felt and I didn’t feel like I fit in at all.

Yes - but I’m a dog walker and run my own business so it’s all on me. I absolutely love what I do though and wouldn’t swap it for the world.

When I’m having a bad day, I say to my boss ‘I’m going to quit and work in Tesco’s’ and she’ll say ‘but you’ll be a social worker in Tesco’s’. In some ways I think we always ‘are’ the roles we go on to do. So when I was in a previous role I was always printing off annual leave policies for the cleaners to make sure they knew their rights, speaking to colleagues about unions, helping people to speak up or leave domestic abuse situations. I think I’ve always loved to talk (!!) and help people. Even if I worked on the moon, I’d end up finding a way to do social work.

No, definitely not. It (just about) pays the bills and that's it. If I won the lottery they wouldn't see me for dust and I would never work again!

Not at all. I love my job, work hard at it, have great colleagues etc, but it's just a job. All of us are totally replaceable in our jobs, if we left someone else would come in and do it without the company missing a beat. Definitely not part of my identity at all.

I do not see anything wrong with Do what you love = Love what you do!
I think you only need to be wary of your job not taking time, balance and health from your personal life. Not working weekends, late into the evening, getting too emotionaly involved in it so it stays with you for the rest of the day, back at home.

Unfortunately yes, I’m obsessed with it so when it wasn’t going well over the last 2 years it almost broke me. It’s not good to be too attached to your job!

Yes, definitely. I'm a teacher too and it is part of who I am. It doesn't consume me anymore though- after a horrible job I stepped back from management and now I'm 'just' a teacher- plan lessons, deliver them, go home and don't think about until the next day!

No, work has never been part of my identity. When I accumulated enough money to stop working a few years back, I gave up work with no issues, and didn't feel I'd lost anything, but rather gained time to be myself and do things that were genuinely part of my identity.

So pleased to see this reply...I was starting to think there was something wrong with me!

I have a great job,/career I'm good at it. I've reached a senior level. But it is just my job. It in no way defines who I am.

I can understand how more vocational jobs may be defining though.