Is work part of your identity?

[Sockskeepmyfeetwarm]

I was previously a teacher. It was definitely part of how I identified myself. I burnt out from teaching and the thing that I found most difficult was redefining who I was from who I thought I was.

I now work in a job which alines with my values so much. I remind myself that it is just a job and try to keep my boundaries in place but I am slowly feeling like it is again forming part of my identity. It is an emotive role and I wonder if this is part of the reason it impacts me on this level. Or are my boundaries not as strong as I thought?

What are other’s thoughts on this?

It is 3:09am and I have been awake for 2 hours so chances are, I am talking nonsense. Happy to accept that view also

I agree, but I am in a minority. I work with people who say things like 'cut me open and you'll see <job title> running through me like a stick of rock'.

I once admitted that I didn't feel that way and it still gets brought up in conversation by some colleagues now.

No I've never had that. It sounds great as i guess you must love your job if it's become part of your identity - but i can't even imagine it. Almost everything is more important to me than my job.

I was a teacher, and absolutely loved my job. It definitely became critically important in my life as it is so easy to measure yourself after a few years of class results, students talk about teachers and hold potent opinions about our ability, and parents speak openly about our results - we are held accountable by everyone! A visit to the local Sainsbury’s becomes a measure of our reputation - is it, “Hello, Miss!” or sniggering behind hands? I felt that reputation was everything, and so worked so hard… and then I hit 45, the same initiatives started to appear again with new enthusiastic staff promoting them not knowing we’d already been there, innovations that had driven staff meetings were debunked, and things suddenly became harder. When the work-talk chatter became frustrated rather than framed by humour and pride, I got out. I want a job that I define myself by - I want to be known to be good at it. Currently living off savings and wondering what to do next…

Yes. I have tried not to let it be but I am just that kind of person so rolling with it!

Yes I’m a nurse and it’s a much a part of me as being a mum, daughter etc.

My DH is most definitely identified by his work which I think is stopping him from retiring.

Absolutely emphatically not. 16 years state school teaching - ‘I am a teacher’ was never part of how I ever identified myself. I now work in prison education and see people who work as prison officers and it’s absolutely front-and-centre of who and what they perceive themselves to be.
I think professional pride is admirable. Taking pride in your work and thinking of yourself as inhabiting and in fact being that role … it implies you take it seriously. Not for me, though.

Yes, I was a teacher in a specialist setting but then made the mistake of going into management. I ended up leaving entirely, but am now getting back into the teaching. It is definitely part of my identity and something I'm very proud of.

No my identity come from who I am as a person , my family my hobbies , friends.

Yes, within bounds. My work matters a lot, I'm well known in my industry (well, at least in the UK and USA) and it pays for a very nice life. But in other areas I'm someone else. I write books. I make music. Some people would be shocked to find my life isn't focused on those things. My kid probably has very little idea about my work. I'm just a parent. It matters to me to have spaces, and in each there are values that I need to be the integrated me inside: wealth, creativity, love... Becoming just one thing is a problem I think, especially when we have to let go one of the roles and don't have another to step into.

Mine is. I am a chronic underachiever in life generally and not very good at many things. But I am good at my job and that makes me very happy. I love my work and I love how happy my input makes other people. The job I do makes a big difference to my clients and that is so satisfying. If I didn't have my work, now DC are adults, I would feel quite a waste of space!

Same. It was something to be endured for the money. I’m much more than a boring job

Not all jobs are boring!

Mine was

My work was constantly changing so always interesting. No two days were the same. I worked on short projects so even if one was dull, there would be another that was more engaging on the horizon.