What's the most privileged/off the mark post/response you've read?

[waywardways]

I've name changed for this, just in case anyone does an AS and accuses me of getting DM fodder.

Me and the DC had to flee our home several years ago and we were moved into a tiny 2 bed flat temporarily. I made a thread at the time, saying me and 3dc had had a traumatic move and were very overcrowded and asked for advice on how to store our daily stuff in an efficient way.
Several posters replied helpfully, linking shelving units/freestanding storage, but one poster replied along the lines of:

"Your DH must be high up in the army and you have to rough it in officers housing until your 5 bed detached home is ready".

Another poster quoted the above with "This was my immediate thought too! It's so hard OP, but we've all been there".

I found this both amusing and perplexing because a) I would never have assumed the above and b) it was so far off the mark.

There was another thread very recently about food guidelines where the lack of awareness and privilege was quite frightening!

Oooh, thanks.

I've been looking for inspiration for dinner 😀

Not on MN but when I was a kid (around 13 years old), a friend would always say that I was terrible at getting stuff fixed and it'd leave it broken for ages e.g. my bike or my VCR. I wasn't terrible - I didn't have the same pocket money she got from her very well off parents, and my (single) mum didn't have much spare money either. My friend just had no idea that some people were not as well off as her family.

“I won’t have any time this evening either as I’m Jam packed catching up after a weekend away. Was great to see you, hope you have a good journey back”

Does she? Very tone-deaf.
What are you supposed to do if you live in a high rise? Hang it out the window?

Well a poster in a dinner thread has just wondered why other posters have time to cook meals each day and questioned why they are obviously so ‘smug’ that their kids are so inactive that they don’t do any sports after school. A whole set of assumptions going on there with a side order of judgment.

Most of these examples are to do with wealth. Do people see privilege and wealth as being the same thing?

I think for some reason people think a landlord will have millions sat in a bank, many landlords have 1 rental property with a mortgage and not a lot of other savings. So the property isn't a drop in the ocean, the person who inherited it probably didn't inherit much more than the house and was clearly trying to do the right thing by the tenants, but would be mental to give strangers a house their parent worked hard to save for. But I think there will always be people who think landlords are super rich. Obviously they have an asset and are privileged to have that, but there are many non-landlords with more money sat in bank accounts and savings.

Benefits bashing in all its forms. People who think ill health and disability would never happen to them and that if it did, they would not stoop to claim any kind of financial support - they would somehow overcome it, or be so incredibly resourceful as to manage anyway.

I experienced similar at work years ago; a colleague annoyed that I'd booked annual leave and wasn't going on holiday; i was on £5 an hour at the time and we were struggling with our mortgage payments; she'd never had a mortgage as she'd always lived in a property owned by a relative.
She'd blithely tell how wages would go up and my mortgage would come down, and everything would be easier! She went on holidays abroad multiple times a year, and was surprised i wanted time off ( that i was entitled to) to stay at home. Despite the fact I was often left to run the shop on my own, sometimes doing a 10 day stretch without a day off. So yes, I wanted my annual leave!!

Neighbour issues?
Just move!

"Shop at Aldi or Lidl, Sainsbury's and Tesco are sooooo expensive."

Alright, so instead of going to the big Sainsbury's within walking distance of my flat I'll drive half an hour to the nearest Aldi, shall I? Very economical

A lot of covid threads made it clear that some people can't recognise their privilege. How fun it was spending quality time in the garden with family on furlough while 'we're all in the same boat'.
My boat had no garden, no-one else in my household and trying to work out how to manage my team remotely and how to film an international production with different covid restrictions in each country involved. I was very much on the edge of a breakdown for months on end. And I still recognise my own privilege that I was in work, because I'd have got no government support, that I owned my flat and that neither I nor anyone I knew got seriously ill or died.

There's a big overlap, but they're definitely not the same thing.

I once got told IRL to check my white privilege when I was having a moan about being ghosted by a potential employer for the second time in a week, as if white privilege somehow pays the rent and puts food on the table.

Absolutely this. And also on any thread about childcare, someone will post "can you not get a nanny" or when someone is feeling overwhelmed "get a cleaner". Without realising these things are out of reach for the majority of the population.

Or could do what happened here.

Was a shared house and one tenant fell out with the other, so he set the house on fire.

Extreme I’ll admit, but he solved the problem.

To be honest I’m not really sure I understand your example tbh, where did army housing come from? Why is it relevant if you’re “fleeing” in traumatic circumstances, to me that suggests living with partner wasn’t safe. I think it’s more that the people you referenced didn’t understand your situation as opposed to being privileged

i’d say on here, it’s rare to see people being privileged but rather people who think they are privileged when they’re not. It seems to be race to the bottom at times where you can’t be happy about what you have as someone will jump in with their own issues!

I don’t think there’s anything wrong with reminding people who are looking for ideas of places to go, that Europe is full of amazing places and no need to go miles away. And often it’s more carbon neutral to drive than fly, if you can.

That’s different than saying “don’t go to Asia twice a year, you’re killing the world with your pollution just for fun” when someone has clearly decided they’re going to Asia.

Yes it’s about privilege - if you have the money to fly to Asia twice a year I do think you should stop and think about your carbon footprint. That’s my opinion and I’m allowed to express it nicely and gently on a public forum.

Someone after the Traitors result on the weekend said they didn't think the prize pot was a large sum of money, or not life changing or something. Can't remember the exact phrasing.

😆

I had this the other day on a breakfast thread. I made a comment vaguely along the lines of "what's wrong with two pieces of toast and butter and a brew?"

Oh Jesus the absolute backlash I got 😂

Do I not KNOW that bread is just empty carbs??? Hopefully it isn't white, sliced bread which is just the worst UPF you could possibly eat and will most likely cause me to keel over and die instantly.

The number one favourite comment I see on mumsnet is when people say to "get a cleaner". A cleaner where I live costs about £30 an hour (if you can find one at all!) and £60-90 a week/fortnight is miles off people's budgets!!

Oh god these are brilliant.

"My husband has a drinking problem, spends all his time at home gaming with his headphones on whilst drinking cans of cider, has never so much as changed a nappy or put the washing machine on. Last time he made toast he set the house on fire. We have 3 children under 5. What shall I do?"

"Why don't you book a holiday for yourself and leave him to look after the kids for a week. He needs to learn!"

I’ve lost count of the number of posters who have been dumbfounded/appalled that some kitchens have washing machines in them. Maybe they are American because how can anyone in the UK been mindblown by that, unless their lives have been supremely privileged from the day they were born. (And we are not the only country to have such an ‘abomination’). 🙄

And, of course, Kirstie was born with a wacking big silver spoon in her mouth!)

Or a nanny 😂I literally know NOT A SOUL in real life who has a nanny. And that includes one of my best friends who has 4 kids and is pretty well off!

I’ve seen get a cleaner, nanny and gardener 😂

"I can’t really talk about my weekend without mentioning my trip to local expensive spa and day trip into London to watch a show."

I mean, you definitely can and most people would.