What's the most privileged/off the mark post/response you've read?

[waywardways]

I've name changed for this, just in case anyone does an AS and accuses me of getting DM fodder.

Me and the DC had to flee our home several years ago and we were moved into a tiny 2 bed flat temporarily. I made a thread at the time, saying me and 3dc had had a traumatic move and were very overcrowded and asked for advice on how to store our daily stuff in an efficient way.
Several posters replied helpfully, linking shelving units/freestanding storage, but one poster replied along the lines of:

"Your DH must be high up in the army and you have to rough it in officers housing until your 5 bed detached home is ready".

Another poster quoted the above with "This was my immediate thought too! It's so hard OP, but we've all been there".

I found this both amusing and perplexing because a) I would never have assumed the above and b) it was so far off the mark.

There was another thread very recently about food guidelines where the lack of awareness and privilege was quite frightening!

It was 100% serious.

Everyone was trying to outdo each other with all the ways in which they martyred themselves to avoid leaving the house.

Cheese in coffee will always be my favourite though 🤣

That's reminded me of a colleague many years ago. She and her husband had done well out of the London property market. They both had good jobs. They owned a holiday house overseas. They had decided to downsize now their children had grown up. One day she told us all that they had got such a good price for their old house that as well as buying their new smaller house in London they could also buy another holiday home by the sea in the UK. One of the junior colleagues listening to this was saving every penny with her partner in the hope of buying a tiny starter home, but every time they reached their savings target for the deposit they found prices had risen and they needed more. They were starting to feel that they would never manage it and might have to leave London. I was incensed on her behalf. Older colleague was absolutely tone deaf boasting about her money.

Yep!

On a recent benefits thread, I was explaining that the only reason I'm on UC is because I'm a carer to my disabled child and a poster helpfully advised me that if it was her, she would simply move to the cheapest area into the most simple, basic house and then she'd not have to claim UC.

My cousin and her husband had two houses, their main home and a holiday cottage. A mutual friend was struggling to save for a deposit on a house and cousin said We'll I've only got two houses so I don't know what I'd do if I lost one.

Just fyi because of the tax changes most private schools have had to drastically reduce the number of bursaries/scholarships that they offer to children from low income families. The wealthy families have just carried on paying, The struggling families have pulled their kids out. The poorer families who could never afford private school anyway now can’t get scholarships, so yes it is the poorer kids who have been most affected by this policy.

My brother condescendingly told me that I didn't have a clue about how expensive it was having children. His wife was pregnant with their first at the time, so he was not exactly an expert, but had just spent £3000 in John Lewis on a pram and a cot and was bemoaning the fact that they had only bought half what they needed.

I pointed his privilege out to him and that he had just spent more than the average family spend in the first year of their child's life (21 years ago). He would not accept that anyone anywhere would ever spent less, definitely didn't buy second hand or use hand-me-downs etc.

A IRL one. Lady at my choir group is always boasting about how rich she is. Talking about how her DH bought her £ 60,000 in gold for her 60th birthday etc and she was irritated because it did not fit in her existing safe for example.

Another one of us was househunting and struggling to find something in her budget. The rich lady trilled 'Oh, why don't you buy XX Manor that's come up for sale! It's only on for £3 million!'. She meant it too.

Since when did driving a car be a "privilege?
A driving licence doesnt just drop into a person's hands. They have to work hard for it. Many people work hard and go without other things to have a car.
I wouldnt call that being privileged

Or get a lodger! Because who wouldn't want a complete stranger living in their house and sharing a living space and bathroom?!

Cheese in their coffee 😆I wasn't on MN in 2020 / 2021 thankfully 😅

Not only that, but both them and their DH are also severely disabled, but "we manage".

The whole 'just move house' when someone posts about difficult neighbours/cramped conditions etc. Moving house is expensive, time consuming and can be hugely stressful so not an option for many people.

I posted once about dealing with serious clutter and feeling completely overwhelmed. I asked whether anyone had ever paid a professional to come and help them, and the number of responses along the lines of 'just tidy up' or 'I'd never let it get that bad' completely missed the point.

In fairness, that might have held water at one point.

What type of cheese though?!

Like a squeezy one? Or cream cheese?! Or just a chunk of cheddar?!

Haha I had that one suggested on a money thread. Like it was no big deal having a total stranger in my house. When I also pointed out the fact I would have to spend money for the furniture etc, the increase in council tax, bills and the fact that renting out a spare room in my area is unlikely to cover the expenses of having the other person in my house, at least for the first 6-12 months. Apparently I was just being precious or difficult.
Same for not paying in to a pension right now, I will in a couple of years once I've cleared my debt and actually have some room in my budget, but if I lost £200 a month currently, I would have to not eat or end up behind on debt or bills. I was told that no one thinks they can afford to pay into a pension and just suck it up. When I posted my income and expenses, I asked what they would drop to be able to pay into the pension and they had no answer.

Not on here, but Kirstie Allsopp on one of her TV programmes advised that the best way to get over those post-holiday blues is to book another one the minute you get back, so you always have one to look forward to.
Silly woman.

But your parents (or you) need to have the money spare for driving lessons. And many many people don't.

I remember a semi recent thread where OP had £8 left in her bank account and a poster repeatedly argued that moving was the solution.

I find there’s lots of comments from those who take grandparent/ family or even spousal childcare for granted. My real life friends are like this and it drives me up the wall. They “make time” to go to the gym every day and train for marathons and fund raise and see me as lazy for not “finding the time”. I have literally no one to watch my kids for several hours a week. Even going to the dentist or for my smear requires logistics.

in their head they just don’t even have to think about it. Just waltz to the gym. There’s been comments like “why don’t you just book a weekend away” etc etc 😒

Since it isn't free?

Some people also work hard and still can't afford driving lessons or to run a car.

It's perhaps less privilege and more less understanding but there was a thread from a few years back from a poster whose brother had decided her kids couldn't go to his wedding (or even stay in the hotel if I remember).

That meant her husband wouldn't be driving them and there were a million 'just get an Uber from the train station'. It was a wedding in the Highlands.

I was reminded of it by the expense of visiting son post in which someone said 'I always just eat at wetherspoons' which is perhaps the opposite of privilege but is a limited mindset to not imagine that a place described as being in the mountains probably doesn't have this kind of dining option.

I think some people tell others to just ‘learn to drive’ without much understanding of how incredibly expensive lessons are these days and how hard it is to find an instructor. It is virtually impossible to find a driving instructor who will do evening or weekend lessons. I get why that is from the instructor’s perspective but so many act like getting driving lessons is easy and straightforward when it really isn’t, particularly if you’re a parent juggling work and childcare.

My head says they probably meant philidelphia or similar, my heart believes they meant having a chunk of cheddar floating around in their morning nescafe.

It was never specified though 🤣

Doesn't Kirstie Allsopp also bang on about how washing machines shouldn't be in kitchens as everyone should have a utility room or a cupboard or a spare bedroom or something that it should go in to?

I would love a utility room but just don't have the extra funds at the moment to extend my house so it has to stay in the kitchen.

That's true but its not the fault of those who do have some spare money to learn to drive. Maybe they got an extra job in the evenings to pay for it. For some people having a car is a necessity, not a luxury.
Mumsnet posters seem to be obsessed with "privelege" oh she drives a nice car. Must be privileged. She might have a relative who has terminal cancer.
Oh he has a nice 4 bed detached house. Must be privileged. Maybe he has calloused hands from working outdoor in all weather conditions. Maybe he will end up with an industrial disease because of the years he worked in a dangerous job. Hardly a privelege