Very advanced children

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I just happen to have landed on a bunch of threads by parents with 'gifted' children, and one or two about parents who think their kids are more gifted than they are.

It's reminded me of an 18-month-old I once met, who talked more eloquently than most 7-year-olds can. He had a very enquiring mind, asking intelligent questions (I was at work) and telling me about stuff he'd learned. He could read and was good at arithmetic. He was a little charmer, really, a delight to meet - if somewhat wearing; he never stopped asking questions.

He evidently had the mind of a toddler despite his advanced skills. He was quite physically developed, though still within range for his age. His mother told me her biggest worry was that people couldn't help treating him as if he were older, expecting him to be more responsible or experienced than he was able.

One of my nephews suffered from this as a young child, too - nothing like the prodigy I've just described, but he was verbally advanced due to spending nearly all his time with adults and was also big and strong for his age. Kids shouldn't have to keep telling adults "I'm only three, I can't do that!" but he did have to.

I sometimes wonder how Prodigy Child turned out. His mum said she was prepared for his development to slow down until others caught up, but lifetime prodigies do exist and I don't think they always have an easy time.

Have you known any DC like this? What happened to them? Alternatively, feel free to share about the deluded parents of normal children you have known!

Did it give you an advantage do you think? I did end up being quite naughty at school for a while as I was bored while everyone else was being taught to read. The teachers wanted to move me up a year but luckily didn't as I was too young for my year. It soon levelled out when I moved to a very academic school and there were lots of girls that were cleverer than I was! I ended up doing well academically but not Oxbridge standard.

My DS was one of these toddlers. Speaking in full sentences at 18 months. Had a wide vocabulary and was really quick with learning. Was very tall for his age too and was walking at 10 months. We constantly had to remind people he was much younger than he appears to be.

He was top of the class all through infant and junior school. He was sporty and strong so was picked for all the sports events and swimming galas. Passed the 11 plus easily.

Turned into a very demotivated and lazy teenager. Obsessed with playing fortnight for a few years and had some mental health issues. Did extremely well at GCSEs with very little ( if any) work and had also missed two important years of school due to Covid lockdowns.

Left school with very underwhelming A levels results and turned down his Uni offer as he knew he wasn't motivated enough to succeed.

Realised he had messed up and has worked very very hard to improve his prospects, has taken some professional exams and now works in finance doing a graduate level job even though he isn't one.

Now 20, doing well and I think he will be just fine.

true. but i the moment the drive is to make sure no child gets a decent education….

So for me, your reply perfectly illustrates how success/intelligence are measured or placemarked differently by everyone.

For me a job in the city isn't the benchmark of success or intelligence. Equally, I've had people tell me that working in research as a university academic isn't fulfilling potential.

The most academically gifted young adult I know is at Oxbridge studying for a physics degree. He has a brilliant mind, but was non-verbal as a young child and diagnosed as autistic. He has suffered from social and behavioural issues all his life, often sadly ostracized by other kids and didn't cope well with school. Academic brilliance is often not obvious from a young age and those that display gifted traits early on may find themselves very average by the time they leave university.

I really think it's hard to tell with young children as, like you say, they can appear bright and gifted when they'll little but then their progress can slow down as they get older. The other way round can happen as well. I have friends whose DS who was really behind on his language skills at 3 and they were really worried. Now he's 8, fluent in 2 languages, doesn't stop taking and is clearly very bright.

I have some friends who are very intelligent, members of Mensa and went to Oxford (I live in Oxford). And I have to say that, whilst they're gifted in some areas, they do all seem to struggle in others. One of my closest friends is very academically intelligent but he admits himself not socially or emotionally intelligent at all. It wasn't a surprise to us when he got his autism diagnosis as an adult. He finds life quite hard.

It does sort of have to level off. The child I know of is clearly a really clever little girl but what’s remarkable at 18 months isn’t so much at 5 - it isn’t that she isn’t clever though!

It can make you fret if your child isn’t like that which is why people get defensive, I think.

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I have one that was/is gifted. Always very advanced in certain areas from extremely young. Was/is a maths whizz, quite extraordinary, yet could never ride a bike and couldn’t tie their shoelaces until around 15yo. They did a competitive degree and have a very good well paid profession, however they will sit on their seat in that position probably for the rest of their working life as they don’t have broad skills required to advance to CEO/board status etc. They have zero social, political or presentation skills and technical brilliance only takes you so far until you hit a ceiling.

My other kids, not gifted, will likely advance beyond their gifted sibling in their professions, as while not ‘brilliant’ like their sibling, they are much more well rounded. So, I’ve always wondered what ‘gifted’ really means as not much in my experience when you look at someone holistically.

I don’t believe a 9 month child was talking like that. There are a lot of family stories like this. I believe people remember it like that, though.

I think some kids are very bright, and some of those will fall back and not others, for a myriad of reasons. It isn’t simple. I also know that not all bright kids are autistic, or struggle socially. They don’t necessarily struggle with practical skills-that’s a myth. I’ve taught some of them. I think society struggles with this.

ALL children need nurturing.
Bright and gifted children not more so than others.

ALL children need a decent education suited to their needs.

Our current curriculum is almost designed to destroy self esteem in average to below average kids and a whole heap of neurodivergent kids. It's no wonder that EBSA has dramatically increased since the 2017 curriculum was introduced. COVID didn't help but as an educationalist of 30 years I am convinced that the bigger cause is the curriculum (alongside inflexible academy chains with ridiculous rules).

I’m a maths tutor and I get a lot of parents who think their kids are prodigies, most of them are average or slightly above. I have in 10 years of tutoring only met one genuine prodigy. Doing GCSE level stuff at 8, really really bright little boy. He gets mercilessly bullied at school and to be honest the school can’t really accommodate him.

Wasnt there a child years ago who was about 7 years of age taking degrees? sure i read it somewhere wonder what became of him. its ok taking degrees but not much use if you have to wait until you are grown up to use them

Michael Kearney got his BA in Anthropology at age 10 in 1994. Alongside his advanced skills, he has learning disabilities and wasn't able to write while at university (don't know if he can now). He won a lot of money on game shows and is an actor.

Sounds like an interesting person: his theatre company says “He decided to share his collection of useless information with the world of Improv, where all sorts of strange beasts and mutants live. They have accepted him as one of their own, and allowed his hair to grow long, and his freak flag to fly high.”

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/MichaelKearney

He was speaking in full sentences at seven months old.

I was a gifted child but there was no nurturing of anything so I just gave up. I felt I was held back at school having to do the same as others. I did have extra and harder work but I’d finished in minutes so it felt pointless. My mum turned down the scholarship to private school that someone spent a lot of time sorting out for me and both parent said no to university, so I couldn’t go.

I just gave up and never revised or put any effort in so my results were just A-C which now I’m disappointed in and wish I’d put more effort in. My mum used to take me out of school constantly as she wanted company after my dad left so I was hardly there.

Now I earn £44k in a civil service job and have no ambitions. I’m definitely average and my memory is shot after I almost died in childbirth. I’m pretty sure my memory was the reason I was ‘gifted’. I just remembered facts and quotes easily. Now I just feel thick.

I have a 5yr old who I didn’t teach to read/write before starting school as what’s the point? They’d just be held back waiting for others to catch up like I was. She’s now in the top tier so it did her no harm. I don’t think she’s talented intellectually but she’s fantastic with her hands. She could build furniture at 3 using tools with no help and she’s quite sporty. My 3yr old is clearly clever but I won’t put any pressure on him. He's not doing what I was doing at 3 though so I doubt he’s ‘gifted’.

edited to say I have a cousin who took his GCSEs at 12 and has multiple degrees. He doesn’t work ‘proper’ jobs as he hasn’t the social ability to do so. He does odd jobs, mostly music related. He recently married which was a big shock to all the family!

Two daughters. First highly advanced, second a bit naughty and lazy. Both ended up academically identical.

Well my son learned to clap earlier than expected. I remember being so proud when the nurse was surprised he could clap at his check up. 😄

He's now 8 and still great at clapping, so we have high hopes for his future.

😂 @Audhumla 👏👏

I love the idea of your 3-year-old building furniture, @PissedOffNeighbour22!

Did the loopy, creative, brainy cousin marry a loopy, brainy wife?

Ds was putting letters together at 2, could read limited words by 3 and could read virtually everything by 4, newspaper headlines, signage etc. It was exciting to witness but rather difficult too, he didn't understand the words he was reading and couldn't understand. We found waiting rooms with moving breaking news etc really stressful because he would read aloud and inevitably there would he something about rape or murder or sexual abuse. He was very immature in other ways. It levelled out and he is a clever but ordinary student now at 12, diagnosed as autism (aspergers) at 6

I do think we need to be careful with chidlren who are ahead of their age in achievements in one area or another. I was put into a small group which took their A-levels a year early - I think the school enjoyed the kudos - but it did me no favours. I was too emotionally immature for university when I went and struggled for the first couple of years.

I have one very talented GS - all round academic astonishing achievements and an outstanding musical gift. His parents offer him every opportunity to develop these but also rightly prioritise his all-round social development - he is in scouts, helps an autistic child with music, plays in bands with those not as gifted and happily mucks in with the right spirit.

He is learning that his gifts can benefit others and is happy to share.

One of mine has excelled, at different times in three areas, one sporting, one arty, one academic. He is autistic with hyper focus and believes he could be the best in any area with the right motivation. He is bright but it’s the focus he can bring that is exceptional. He loves his new passion with more energy and thought than I would think possible. It comforts him, thrill him and is a constant companion. It is very interesting for me to watch as I am an absolute Jack of all trades and master of non!

Brilliantly put.

Ds1 had advanced speech for his age, and at that age of 2 took part in a study through a university. He was reading fluently by 4, and was able to read and have in depth conversations about all the HP books by 6. His teachers loved him. But his friends caught up and he evened out. He was just an early starter in these two areas. People did treat him like he was older, forgetting that he was just a small child.

Already replied above about DS being extremely advanced in reading as a preschooler, I should add that the biggest challenge has been managing expectations. Family members always talk about how clever he is, is he still top of the class (no), and it comes up in conversation a lot. If he doesn't understand something he gives up because he hasn't gained the skills of perseverance yet. His twin who was always bright personality wise and average in terms of development, had a core belief that she wasn't smart because he was the clever one. I don't think this came from us but more from people constantly telling DS how clever he was when he was little.