Have you ever had a birthday card written by your Dad?

[daisym00n]

I just realised that after 48 birthdays, my Dad (still with my Mum) has never written my birthday card. I know that’s in line with the stereotypically gendered roles of those kinds of tasks but he’s a very engaged Dad in lots of other ways.

i was thinking about it as I saw a gift which was a loved one’s handwriting as embroidery and I realised I don’t have any examples from my Dad.

if your Dad is still with your Mum has he ever written your birthday card? I’m going to tell mine he needs to do it this year!

No. My mother died and I never got a birthday or Christmas card from a parent again!

My dad never did cards but did used to slip me money in an envelope occasionally and always wrote a lovely message on it. Now he has dementia I treasure those envelopes

Not that I can recall but my dad was not the best (and that is putting it mildly, think conditional love, abuse with creepy sexual overtones, a year of not speaking to me when I was 15 - 16 because? well I never did find out). I can recall his handwriting though so maybe he did. My mum did the gifts and cards.

Yes, just one. It was nearly 40 years ago but it is still in my bedside drawer.

I knew the reason the moment I opened it. I was 25 and had never had a card from mum and dad written by him.

He died 4 weeks later. We knew he had a terminal diagnosis but I don't think mum had shared just how far down the line he was. She knew this would be his last chance to give me something I would treasure my entire life

Yep, Dad always writes mine. He's 80 and I'm 57.

No never and I wrote all the cards in our house from us both. Though I did always get dh to write his mum, dads and siblings birthday cards.

he hates his writing so always tells me to write them.

I can remember when my mum died a few months before my birthday and I still kept rushing to the door to check the post looking in vain for a card from her because my brain could not process that she was gone forever. I knew that she was dead but it took me so long to understand it emotionally, the grief was overwhelming. I was only in my 30's when my parents died and my mum had been very unwell for about 5 years before she died. I did not feel young at the time but when I look back it does seem quite a young age to lose your mum.

My husband always writes in the birthday cards for our children and our grandchildren. I occasionally do if it's a special birthday but its normally him

My dad always signs every birthday card for me, my siblings, our spouses, and kids, and writes a little line or two message in them as well. Always has done.

Funnily enough my grandma was the one who never wrote, only my grandad. I rather suspect it was because she wasn't very good at it. But of course we never saw her writing so I'll never know

Yes, though since I've been adult, he writes birthday emails instead. My maternal grandfather wrote me birthday letters until the year he died.

My mother never did that I can recall. The last present she got me was because I was living with my maternal grandparents at the time, and her mum/my grandmother brought it up that 13 was a special birthday. I got a pack of yellow stickered dented cupcakes, alongside the candle, book, and other bits from my grandparents.

That is very young, I'm so sorry.

I was in my mid-50s when my Mum died.

My dad never wrote in a card for me. Mum would sign for both of them. And he often forgot it was my birthday. I’d call on my birthday, and could either hear my mum trying to mime to him to wish me a happy birthday, or if she wasn’t there, he’d just chat like normal until I told him. He’d try to cover it up but it was obvious. He was very generous and loving in other ways. But a bit rubbish like that.

Mine's the opposite - I've never had a card from my mum. My dad writes all of the cards and all of the labels on christmas and birthday presents. It's just not her thing and to be fair she's not fussed about receiving cards and presents either.

Only after my mum died, and it was quite sweet to know he’d chosen a card and written it himself for me because Mum was no longer there to do it

No and I’d find it remarkably odd if I got one at this stage. He’s a great dad and I must admit I myself am terrible at getting/writing cards so would be hypocritical to attach too much to his not writing one.

Yes I had lots but not while my mother was able to do it. She became disabled and then died 20 years before he did. If she had been fit and outlived him then it probably wouldn't have happened. To be fair though, he stepped up massively when she was ill and looked after her (and all the household stuff) incredibly well.

All of mine were written by my dad until he died and now mum does it. He had beautiful handwriting and I wish I had kept at least one now.

My dad never signed a birthday of Christmas card but if they sent a postcard he wrote it and he wrote the card when I passed my driving test ❤️ I am 53 and he died when I was 24 or maybe there would have been other opportunities.

No, my Dad has never written in any (parents still together), nor FIL, and I always write the cards to our own kids. This has made me stop and think that it’s time to break the mould so that our kids don’t think it’s the normal/ accepted way to do it.

44 years last week and never had my Dad write my card. But last few years he has text me separately to say happy birthday, which is good enough for me xx

Nope, but DH (72) writes all the kids birthday and Christmas cards and buys the majority of gifts, at least 80%. 🤷🏻‍♀️

Never. My mum tried to get him involved one year and made him buy me a present. He bought a football. He's dead now and I don't miss him at all tbh.

I've never had a card written by my mother. She was very emotionally abusive and never really acknowledged my birthday. Once when I was a teenager she wrote her name on my card, not mum but her name and surname, I cried all the way to school that day

No. My mum always wrote the cards.
My husband has never written a birthday card either