Have you ever had a birthday card written by your Dad?

[daisym00n]

I just realised that after 48 birthdays, my Dad (still with my Mum) has never written my birthday card. I know that’s in line with the stereotypically gendered roles of those kinds of tasks but he’s a very engaged Dad in lots of other ways.

i was thinking about it as I saw a gift which was a loved one’s handwriting as embroidery and I realised I don’t have any examples from my Dad.

if your Dad is still with your Mum has he ever written your birthday card? I’m going to tell mine he needs to do it this year!

i have the card my dad write for my 13th birthday. It was the last thing he wrote before his Parkinson’s tremor got too bad to write.

Yes, he used to before he developed dementia.

Yes, but only after my mum died. DH writes DC’s cards, though, because his handwriting is much nicer than mine.

Yes, quite a few. Particularly as we’ve got older. He also writes the children’s cards.

I am a similar age to you OP and my dad died a long time ago. He was very absent when he was alive, and your post has made me realise I have no idea what his handwriting looked like. I’ve been trying to remember. I used to know, but I know I have no examples of it to remind myself.

When they were both alive my Mum would be the one buying , but both will sign. Since my Mum died (26 years ago) my Dad buys and chooses and writes inside - he always chooses a card that says daughter on outside too .

The thing I love the most is he always calls me first thing on my birthday and sings Happy Birthday down the phone - even when I was on holiday once I came back to it on the answerphone , bless him - he's 94now

My dad’s birthday cards are legendary, he does elaborate crazy drawings, riddles, bits of other cards cut up and spliced together…I have loads of them kept. He didn’t bring me up though, he moved abroad when I was 5 and I only saw him a few times a year. He has Alzheimer’s now and lives with me, he’s been here nearly 2 years and it’s by far the longest I’ve ever lived with him.

I can imagine a dad being present and active but never writing a birthday card. Mine is a creative genius and brilliant at gifts and surprises, but he’s never made me a packed lunch or attended a parent’s evening.

Only since my mum died a few years ago.

He commented recently how much of a task the birthday card purchasing and writing is 😅 (4 adult children, 13 grandchildren!)

My dad has beautiful writing, used to do calligraphy as a hobby.

My mum had just discovered Moonpig before she died but I miss her handwritten cards so much. Glad my dad took up the mantle.

Always. Separate cards from Mum and Dad. And weekly postcards when I left for weekly boarding sixth form (even though I saw him every weekend!) which carried on through uni and beyond. I have them still. I miss him and the way he cared so much.

Yes, I've definitely got cards written by my Dad. I would say more birthday cards on average are written by Mum but Dad tends to send the Christmas cards and it wouldn't surprise me to receive a birthday card signed by him, it wouldn't stand out as being notably different or unusual.

Yes my dad writes them probably at least half the time and he often draws the card too.

Yes, often. Sometimes he sends a separate one if he’s found something particularly funny/apt, sometimes he and my mum write in same card.

When I was younger he always sent a card on Valentine’s Day too.

Now he writes to his granddaughters every month. He’s 88.

Only from my mid -twenties when my mum and dad split up and subsequently divorced!

Yes, plenty of cards written by my dad. He was also usually the one to write "letters from father Christmas" that were left with my stocking on Christmas morning. Oh, and I also I have several books given to me by my dad where he has written a message on the flyleaf. Plenty of birthday cards written by my mum too.

Cards for our own kids are written by either me or DH, it's not just my job. Cards to DH/me/our kids are written fairly equally by MIL and FIL. When FIL writes them there'll often be a lot of additional drawing or silly messages too.

While my mum and Dad were still together, I probably had 2 that were written by by Dad, compared to around 20 from my Mum. Me and Dad haven't bothered with birthday cards since they split up.

With DD, I've probably written about 1 in 3 ( I'm Dad). And I'll admit that most of them are because DP has pushed me to write it. It's because of my handwriting more than anything else, it's always embarrassed me, it looks like a spiders fallen in the inkwell and dragged itself across the page. I try to avoid writing anything as a result.

One day your DD will look at your atrocious handwriting and her eyes will fill with happy tears that she has those precious cards you wrote her! Take it from the daughter of a banjo player whose handwriting looks like it’s been done by a chimpanzee’s foot 😆

When step mother was alive, she’d write all the family cards, and he would just write “Dad” where she left him a space!

Not sure what’s going to happen this year …

Now that I think about it, nope! Mum always writes them. And I always write the cards for our daughter. Hmm. Might get my husband involved in that from now on as I hadn’t considered that it’s lovely to have handwriting from both.

My father in law often writes the cards that come to us though, and they both sign it.

I really should have considered this before. My nan always wrote the cards, and after she died I had my first Christmas card just from my gramp, and seeing his handwriting in it was wonderful, and a bit heartbreaking. It’s one of my most treasured possessions.

Yes. Lots of things but mainly postcards from deployments/training trips when my mum wasn't there to do it.

When I graduated he got me a card and flowers.

My dad is the card-writer in my parents house. He's written every birthday card I can remember from my parents, including some slightly surreal poems.
My mum is lovely, but has no memory for people's birthdays, and avoids writing because she's dyslexic.

My mum always writes the birthday cards to us kids. It wouldn’t even enter my head that my dad would do it.

Last week I was tidying out old paperwork and found my first, second and third birthday cards from my parents. They were all written by my dad! It was lovely to see it.

It’s particularly poignant since my dad died two weeks ago at the age of 96.

No cards,but I'm old and left home before the advent of the mobile phone. My parents wrote me a letter almost every week when I was at university (we did speak on the phone once a week as well). Sometimes Mum wrote it, sometimes Dad. Mum's letters gave you actual news, Dad's mostly took the piss.
Thanks for reminding me of that - I think I still have those letter upstairs.

Edited to add i probably don't have Dad's signature as he was given to signing his letters ' love from your lord and master'. I miss that old man 😔

Hmmm -I really can't remember! While my parents together I would say no, and maybe not even with his signature in. They split up for 8 years when I was 5, then got remarried, so I may have had some from him during that time.

I now ensure my DH writes his name in every card we send. I still write them, and the envelopes, but that is because my writing is less appalling than his!

My mum always did it, but not because he didn’t care - it was just something she liked to do and did. Now she has dementia, he always makes sure to get us cards and writes them for the both of them (for her as much as for us, I think)

Yes! He used to often draw funny pictures or write verses. Probably not every year though.