Should I go to the wedding?

[Whatinthedoopla]

I am am the breadwinner, and DH doesn't really contribute towards financial things at home.

His friend is getting married in the summer.

Should I say I can't go? I literally don't have money to buy a nice outfit or money to give towards a gift.

If he wants to go, should he go alone? Or if he wants me there, he needs to help with costs? Such as an outfit for me and travel and gift money?

I've literally got no money right now to buy anything

Then I don’t think either of you should go.

He needs to put all his effort into find a permanent job. Not trying to source a quid buck to pay for a jolly. His mate will
understand.

Neither of you can afford to go. Decline politely asap.

Why did he lose his job OP?

Honestly sounds like neither should go as sounds like you can’t afford it as dh isn’t working

You should both decline. The stress of seeing if you can afford even for DH to go to this weeding (which will be expensive if overnight stay in a hotel is required) is not worth it.

Just say no now and focus on him getting a full time job.

Sounds like you have no money for things like weddings. If a few hours away could he go but not stay over?

I agree he should decline going. I have missed several weddings due to the expense. No biggie.

So many "it depends" on here.

Do you want to go ?
Is it someone you would consider a friend as well ?
Weddings needn't cost the £££ people on here talk about - most people have something in their wardrobe they can wear, but if you really don't, you've got some months to look on Vinted or in local charity shops if money is tight.
Why can your dp only go if he "earns some money on the side" ?
Is the wedding back in his home town / somewhere he can kip down on a mate's floor ?
Are you (both of you) capable of going to a wedding and not actually spending excessively ? I often find at weddings I don't spend anything as the combination of pre-meal drinks, wine with the meal, and bubbly for the toast is enough alcohol to see me through.
How close is dp to the couple ? A 'mate you were quite surprised to get an invitation off' is a lot different from 'grew up like brothers / have known each other 25 years' ?
I'd happily go to a wedding without dh, and I'd be fine with him going without me, but if you are sitting there seething and resenting him spending your money on something you can't afford, you are in a different situation.
You say you 'are the breadwinner' - but in terms of how well that meets the outgoings of your household, again makes quite a difference to whether one of you, both of you, or neither of you go.

I wouldn’t go and I wouldn’t contribute anything towards the wedding. You both can’t afford it end of.

If you have no money, it sounds like neither of you can go. If he gets another job, he could go alone (if it's a close friend)to reduce the cost.

Neither of you can afford to attend a wedding at the moment. He is not earning any money and your under financial strain due to this.

"If" he earns some money, it won't be "on the side". It should be contributing to the basics, before he even thinks about hotels, suits, transport to a wedding.

He isn't in his Wedding Guest Era. He needs to get a job, any job, and start contributing and get some savings built up so that in future, he will be able to say yes to wedding invitations. Now, no.

He shouldn’t be having fun times at all if he has no job. He should be focused on finding a job and making money and paying his way in the family.

If he gets a job and if he’s so flush with money that he’s able to take on the bulk of the household expenses (to re-balance you taking on the bulk of them now) and then after all that, if he has money to go to the wedding too, sure, he can go.

I wouldn’t be paying to go myself though.