Do I HAVE to continue to cook separately?

[Luisaa]

Wits end.

5yo DS has always been an incredibly fussy eater but we are now at the point where he will only really eat pasta for dinner. He has pesto pasta, mascarpone, macaroni cheese. He will not eat tomato sauce, so no bolognese or hidden veggies sauces. He hates to see ‘bits’ ie onion, veg, herbs or chicken/mince.

Breakfast is ok as he likes eggs of different forms. Lunch is either a tuna sandwich or egg bagel. Not ideal but at least it’s something. He likes olives and hummus of all things so has that with a wrap once a week. Gone off chicken mayo which is a shame.

It’s dinners I’m mainly struggling with… tonight I have made a shepherds pie and I have refused to cook bloody pasta AGAIN. He is having a meltdown and refusing to eat. Do I just make the bloody pasta? Do I persevere but if so, how?

Any other dinner/lunch ideas for an incredibly fussy eater?

Then you didn't have the issues that the OP's son does.

HTH.

Are you getting any fruits or vegetables into him at all? I have 2 fussy eater but try to encourage vege and fruits.

That's really tough. Lots of great advice from others who have children who are fussy eaters.
I was a really fussy eater as a child. My mum got fed up of trying to feed everyone different things (my dad and siblings were also fussy eaters). We had baked beans and mash every dad as we hated most veg.
I eat a lot of foods now but am still fussy. Interestingly I had NHS allergy testing a few years ago and it showed that I am allergic to quite a few of the things I don't like eating, one of my siblings is gluten intolerant. So maybe the fussy eating was due to this.

its was in "those days" too. Like hitting children......

Is it really so hard to feed him something that he feels able to eat? I guess it’s your choice but it’s pretty miserable to be forced to eat things you don’t like or starve.

It’s very easy for people whose kids eat everything to comment and give advice but at the end of the day you need to look after your dc. Some fussy eaters are neurodiverse, some have ARFID and some are just fussy eaters. You’ll have more issues to deal with though if your fussy eater is underfed.

obviously a big hurrah for all those parents whose children eat curry at the age of one but in the same way that I didn’t earn a medal for getting my dc sleeping through the night very early in his life (I was just very lucky), those whose kids eat a wide range of foods also don’t earn a medal or have some inherent right to look down on those whose children are less adventurous with their eating habits

I would go with be kind and feed your child what he’ll eat and don’t judge others - most of us are just doing our best aren’t we?

at the end of the day you need to look after your dc

This. It won't be all those people suggesting forcing him to eat or serving him the same meal over and over again who have to deal with the long-term consequences.

If you cause unnecessary stress for your children at home, you're reducing their bandwidth to deal with other stressful things happening in their lives.

I’m in my 50s and haven’t grown out of it. Beige and bland is safe. It’s not about control. There is food I can’t even look at. Just the mere thought of some (many) foods makes me feel like I’m going to vomit.

Some PPs mentioned divided plates - try it. I’m sure I’m not the only one who doesn’t like their food being “contaminated” by touching other food.

That sounds like a really good range of foods to me. If he’s eating and thriving I wouldn’t worry too much. Maybe try to introduce a few new things on a division of responsibility basis if you’d like to widen the range further. My DS only ate potato waffles at his worst and I’m sure he’d be diagnosed with ARFID now.