How do I get good at holidays?

[Jadyt]

Two teen DDs DH and me. We all get along great and a have a lovely time together at home, so the idea of going on holiday is always appealing, but it never works.

Both DDs are fairly picky eaters. The most successful holiday we’ve had food wise was when we tried all inclusive and DD2 ate spag bol every single flipping day. But activities wise the AI didn’t really fit. Both DDs are pretty busy with hobbies/extracurriculars at home, but take them away from that and they don’t seem terribly interested in any of the usual holiday activities, or at least not in the same ones. DD1 will happily go for long walks around picturesque places and take photos for IG, but DD2 will complain. DD2 will hang out at the pool and enjoy a bit of sun, but DD1 doesn’t like the heat and will not get her hair wet outside of her strict wash/straighten/curl regime.

Meanwhile I always sleep really badly, end up exhausted trying to keep everyone happy, feel like a control freak, try to step back and relax but then DH doesn’t bother to check whether the restaurant he’s found is actually open that day, then we’re walking the streets and I’m googling other options and ugh, I just hate holidays.

The DDs have been asking about if we’re going away this year and just the thought of it is depressing me. I know I should be grateful that they still want to go on holiday with us at all, but I just fantasise about going away just me and DH and having an actual relaxing enjoyable holiday where I can do whatever I want without worrying about anyone else.

I will confess to not reading the whole thread yet as i am supposed to be working but I would also suggest they book it together (or DD1 will plan her own ideal holiday and not take into account DD2 wants). I would also suggest they look into an Italian holiday as that might resolve your food issues (you can go to different places but DD can still eat each day).

We tend to do 'travelling' holidays so I would get them to look at flying into one place and taking the train to a few locations and travel further north/south and fly home from somewhere else as it should allow some people to have some walking city exploring days and others to enjoy a few sunworshipping days.

Holidays with teens are tricky - we took ours diving as it meant we could 'be together' without actually having to be together to much! 🙄😂

What about visiting Italy so they can have pasta every day and let people do different things. Let people stay by the pool
if they want, whilst others visit a museum?

I have two polar opposites. 18 and 16. They don't actually speak to each other which is fun. DS1 is AuDHD which was only diagnosed recently but it has always been pretty obvious. DS2 likes to be doing ALL the things ALL the time.
The thing is - you don't have to do everything with everybody all of the time.
I know its a family holiday but you are all there together and you can spend some time together but it doesn't have to be every meal and every activity, especially as the girls are older now.

I have taken the boys a few places abroad in the last few years on my own, and it as been as successful as I think it could be. We went to Lake Garda for last years summer holiday (via Venice for a couple of nights) and Slovenia the year before. We did zipwires in Slovenia, which they both enjoyed.
I generally book private accommodation, so we can do a supermarket trip and they can choose food, then they can snack at will, but also we can eat out. It must have wifi. DS1 gets his own room because it just makes life easier for everyone. And he can stay behind if he needs to.

I got accommodation with a shared pool last time although no-one seemed interested. I held off booking loads of stuff because DS1 has a tendency to bail - I know he liked paddleboarding in Slovenia, so I booked that. And paragliding as well. Which he did twice.
I didn't make him come do 'cultural visits' with DS2 unless he wanted to - he stayed behind in the accommodation. I try not to get irritated or annoyed at him because I know he finds things overwhelming and needs a lot of downtime.

I do not have issues with fast food or eating the same thing over and over - if they want a maccy d's in Europe that's fine. DS1 prefers 'safe' food and that covers familiar stuff like McDonalds. If one of them doesn't feel like eating but the other one does, again - food in fridge if you want it but I'm off out with whoever wants to come.
Its always been quite exhausting for me trying to please both, but as long as I get to do stuff I want to do (which is generally with DS2) then I'm good with it.

DS1 has refused Thailand this year which actually is a bit of a relief because I can just go off on adventures with DS2 without worrying if DS1 will cope.