If you invite someone for a bit of dinner at 5pm, what time would you be cooking to sit and watch?

[Thesofathatwas]

Not a formal dinner party btw.
This has happened a few times.
Invited for tea, told to come for 5. Great! Thrilled!
Arrived at 4.50.
Didnt start cooking till 6.30. Ate at 7.45..
Could have eaten my own arm. Starving.

Happened again at a BBQ. Over 2.5 hours until food served.

Would this bother you or would you be meh?

They should be serving the food up within five minutes of your arrival, OP. Anything else is the height of rudeness. You can’t have a hungry guest.

In what part of the UK are people eating lunch at like 4pm?

It's always about 12-1 where I'm from, including through primary and secondary school and any enforced lunch break times at various workplaces (I can choose my own around meetings nowadays, but would still start eating 99% of the time between those times, and DH's current enforced lunch break time in his office is 12.30).

Oh heck, I’d be very hungry. I usually say arrival time within half hour of eating. Relaxing afterwards .

Formal or not: an invitation to dinner at 5pm (which is very early) would imply: turn up at five, welcome drink, sit down at table. A “5 for 5.30” invitation is much easier to deal with. Telling your guests when dinner will be served is obviously useful and polite.

I wouldn’t care less. So long as there’s a bit of alcohol & good company, food takes second fiddle.

I’d want to eat 45-60 mins after arrival I think. That seems about right. Enough time to say hello, have a drink and such.

I'd say come for 5, meal at 6. Do people just say come at X time without saying what time the meal will be?

5pm is not dinner time. It’s still the afternoon. 7.30 to 9pm is a reasonable time to eat so If invited at 5 I would arrive between 5 and 5.30 (Definately NOT earlier which is the height of rudeness) and I’d expect a couple of hours of drinks, nibbles and chatting before actually eating.
That’s certainly standard in my social circle anyway.

This.

All depends on which friends.

Some... literally just eating at 5pm, all prepared and ready.

Others... arrive 5pm, have lots of wine, then think about eating later.

When I invite people round for tea (unapologetically northern so can't call it dinner even if we eat at midnight..sorry) I would say we're eating at 7 but you're welcome anytime from 5 for a couple of drinks. I would also provide nibbles.

This- you don't arrive early, a while ago a friend arrived 30 mns early l didn't answer the door, she came back at the agreed time.

I have been to many meals like that, quite a few European friends ate very late. If I know dinner will be late, I eat something light before I go. I would certainly never arrive early as it’s so impolite.

I would expect to be eating by 6 latest if I was asked to come at 5 for dinner. Any later than that would piss me off. I would want to be leaving by 8.30 latest.

I would have at least expected them to have started cooking before I got there even though I wouldn’t expect food on table dead on 5pm

I’d be starving if I had to wait that long to be fed. I always say “We’ll be eating around 6pm, but why don’t you get here around 5pm if that suits?” No confusion for any of us.

I think I’d just assume now that they won’t feed too late if they’ve done this a few times, grab a snack before you go and assume they’re going to want to hang out for a while.
i do find it odd that they’d invite for dinner at 5 and not eat for 3 hours but then with bbq’s I do think they can be a bit more informal so food can be later. When I host bbq’s I’d probably put out nibbles as we’d be cooking whilst guests are there but some things I try to do in advance like salads etc but then onions and mushrooms I like to serve them warm so cook whilst hubby does the meat outside.

In the days when I was more sociable I’d often have a friend over for dinner. I eat really early in comparison to most people but would say something like ‘I’ll cook for 6pm but you’d be so welcome anytime after 5 for drinks.’

I’d actually ask what time they planned to eat tbh. That’s an odd hour to invite someone for.

I’d imagine food to be about an hour after the invite time. So when we have people round for dinner we invite to come around 7ish to serve at 8. Allows for people running a bit late and time for a drink and chat before eating. Dh does the cooking and we have a big kitchen diner thing so he can chat while cooking and I’ll be in charge of drinks.
then we eat and sit about afterwards nattering with a few more drinks for those who are so inclined!

It’s really rude to arrive at 4.50 when invited for 5.

For a performance eg theatre it is expected to arrive before the start time. For any form of hosting in someone’s home (unless a surprise party) you should arrive just after the stated arrival time. That’s not late, that’s basic etiquette.

If someone invited me for a tea I would expect it to be earlier than 7.45. Tea is what you have late afternoon/early evening. 7.45 is supper surely?!

If I invited someone to come from 5 for an evening meal I’d expect to eat around 6.30. I wouldn’t expect to eat at 5-who does that? Even my child eats later than that. But 7.45 is on the later side.

It all seems a bit mismatched.

I'd start to ask, something like, I get hungry early, what time will we be eating so I can snack first if I need to.

I hate eating after 7pm, as we go to bed earlish for school/work etc..

DH prefers to eat late, it's not for me..

@Zerosleep

why would you want to leave so early??

I don’t get much sleep these days because of the kids so I try to get an early night and hope for the best. In my pre kid days I would have been there until the early hours 😂

I agree with this. I'd consider 5pm still the afternoon really, and unless I was feeding toddlers I wouldn't class it as anywhere near dinner time. I'd consider 6pm/6:30pm an early dinner too. Generally we eat at 7:30-8pm ish though. I suppose it just comes down to what time you/they usually eat they're dinner not aligning.