If you invite someone for a bit of dinner at 5pm, what time would you be cooking to sit and watch?

[Thesofathatwas]

Not a formal dinner party btw.
This has happened a few times.
Invited for tea, told to come for 5. Great! Thrilled!
Arrived at 4.50.
Didnt start cooking till 6.30. Ate at 7.45..
Could have eaten my own arm. Starving.

Happened again at a BBQ. Over 2.5 hours until food served.

Would this bother you or would you be meh?

It’s only in MN where I have heard adults who can’t manage feeling a bit hungry (you don’t know what starving is FFS) and waiting a while to eat.

Evening meal are often better eaten between 5 and 6 then after 7 or 8 and plenty of people do eat dinner at the more sensible time

Why is it ‘the more sensible time’?

I still believe it to be the height of rudeness to arrive late. In my circle, unless there’s something horrendous happened to delay arrival, if 7pm is given its 6.50-7pm arrival.

Fair enough if it’s what your circle do. Just to point out that if you happen to be socialising outside your usual circle you might be better to arrive a couple of minutes after the given time!
Ten minutes early and you run the risk of inconveniencing your hosts.

If it’s a weeknight or Saturday (ie not Sunday dinner) I’d expect to be served up 7-8ish, unless they explicitly said we were eating with the kids (toddlers)
if I was serving I’d invite someone around from 5 as anytime post work/day activities, offer nibbles and serve 7.30ish unless delayed by chatting.
Sunday I’d assume we were eating 6ish but not be worried by a later meal. But we eat late by British standards.

Who eats around 5pm unless it's afternoon tea?

eating earlier - It’s the more sensible time from a point of view of digestion and that impacts weight gain and sleep quality - worth a rummage on the literature

although that is related to normal bed time - if you are a night owl thane eating later will be less problematic

Plenty of people. Is it really so difficult a concept that other people may do things differently?

Plenty of people. Is it really so difficult a concept that other people do things differently?

Apologies. I’ve no idea why that posted twice.

I think it’s rude to arrive before the time.

If someone says 5pm, that means 5 or afterwards (within reason).

Am interview or appointment it’s good to arrive early but it would be massively inconvenient for me if someone arrived at my home early.

But I would expect cooking to start within an hour of me being there.

I would likely already have the food on by the time you arrived or start cooking soon after you arrived.

If this is the same person then I would just eat a snack before I go.

When I invite people I tell them that I’ll be serving up at 7 and answering the door from 5. Lot of nd people in my circle so I keep communication clear.

I think I might be unusual in that I wouldn't expect someone to be cooking. Just finishing off, or food in the oven, but not for someone to cook an entire meal while guests are twiddling their thumbs.

If I were asked to go at 5, I'd expect to be eating no later than about 5.30.

I am indeed from another European country but have been hosting in the UK too, never before 8. The norm in our country is actually 8.30 and it’s rude to arrive on time, the rule is to arrive 15mn late but most people nowadays arrive 30mn+ late.
As we get older we now try and host from 8 if not 7.30 (knowing people will arrive at around 8 anyway).

People can have different routines, granted, but there are social norms too. Restaurants would be a good guide. Walk into one at 5 and see how many people are there. I guarantee you'll have the place to yourself.

I’ve walked into many restaurants at that time and there have been other people present too. They might not have been full but I’ve never been the only diner.

My dad kept doing this, inviting us for dinner on Sunday evening and tells us to be there for 6, arrive at 6 “oh dinner will be ready about 7” meaning we had to eat at speed as we needed to get the kids home, bathed and in bed for school the next day.

So there are others like you but it's not the norm?

As you say, it depends on your bedtime. I rarely go to bed before 1, so have plenty of time to digest a 9pm dinner.

I’m not convinced that there is a norm as such as people eat at so many different hours as can be evidenced on this thread and others and “norms” can vary by area/region but regardless it isn’t a difficult concept to understand that yes some people do eat earlier than others and some eat late and some eat three meals a day and others two or only one and that not everyone works 9-5. I would expect your average adult to be mature enough to understand that people may do things differently from them and have different preferences and that it does not make them wrong.

It’s telling that some are so incredulous at the idea that people might have choices and preferences that do not align with their own.

I agree. People are different and it doesn't make them wrong so serving dinner in your own home at whichever time is their norm is perfectly acceptable.

Probably 6:30-7pm ish. I’d never arrive before 5pm though! It’s bad manners and catches the hosts off guard. Dh is an arrive early to everything sort of person. 5pm means 5-5:20pm. We have turned up 15 minutes early with hosts still showering. So awkward.

The point is usually to sit and have a drink while dinner cooks, so definitely wouldn’t expect to eat in the first hour, hour and a half, unless maybe they have small children they need to get to bed.

Great to not be late but super rude to arrive early!!!

when given an invitation the time is the earliest you should arrive. It’s polite to arrive slightly after the time given.

Would annoy me so much if I invited someone for 5 and they turned up at 450!

There is nothing strange or unusable about eating once a day. Many people do. I wake up most mornings feeling sick and it doesn't go away for a couple of hours I then just wait until I feel hungry and eat when I do. This tends to be 8-9pm.

I eat a large meal, usually about 1.5k-2k calories and then go to sleep about 2am.

We often invite people for dinner at 5pm with their kids. We eat at 5:15pm! The food is all ready when they arrive. Next time ask what time will eat at.