If you invite someone for a bit of dinner at 5pm, what time would you be cooking to sit and watch?

[Thesofathatwas]

Not a formal dinner party btw.
This has happened a few times.
Invited for tea, told to come for 5. Great! Thrilled!
Arrived at 4.50.
Didnt start cooking till 6.30. Ate at 7.45..
Could have eaten my own arm. Starving.

Happened again at a BBQ. Over 2.5 hours until food served.

Would this bother you or would you be meh?

If I was invited to arrive at 7pm for dinner, I would probably be assuming we’d start eating some time between 7.30 and 8.30. Unless they were French or Spanish, or I knew they tended to eat a lot later. If I’d been there once and we’d started eating at 9.30pm I’d assume that would probably happen another time too. That would be late for me and I’d def be a bit hungry, but everyone eats at different times depending on their family.

It would be more surprising to arrive at 7 and eat at 9.30, than to arrive at 5 and eat at 7.30 - because 7.30 is a more usual time to eat than 9.30 in the uk, I think, and 5pm would be very early for most adult meals unless you’re eating with little children.

That’s because you go to a restaurant specifically to eat, but you can go to a friends house to sit around and chat as well - the situations are different.

Arrive at 5 food around 6 would be my expectation however I do know some people don’t eat till 8pm so I would probably check what kind of family they are. If it was eating at 8pm I would have a little snack before

Time is irrelevant.

I would expect to eat about an hour after the invite time.

Time enough, to get in, coats off, drink, and chat before eating.

So invite at 5, expect to eat around 6.
Invite at 7, expect to eat around 8, etc.

@Talipesmum

" because 7.30 is a more usual time to eat in UK"

Is it? For children too?

That would be different though because a usual time to eat would be between 7 and 8. So eating at 9.30 would be as odd as having dinner between 5 and 6 unless you are a small child.

If someone invites me to dinner and tells me to come at 5, I wouldn't expect dinner 'til 7. I would expect nibbles before like smoked salmon, chips and dips and maybe sausage rolls.

Yes except if small children I would say it is. However OP hasn't indicated that she is a small child or had small children with her. If she did they would most likely have been invited for tea not dinner.

I’d definitely be expecting to eat within the hour.
if you’re invited again I’d say something like ‘I’d love to but Im trying to eat all my food before 6:30pm’.

Dining at someone's home is very different to a restaurant reservation. There needs to be time to chat and enjoy each other's company before the hosts get down to the nitty gritty. It's not a canteen.

But I'd argue the conversation would normally be whilst eating, and then afterwards, and not pre-empting the food.

I'd be expecting to eat shortly after 5. At 5.30 I'd be asking if we were eating out or waiting for someone.

If I was told food wasn't until later I'd say I don't eat after 6 (which is true, after that and I have to stay up late) and suggest we do lunch sometime instead.

Then I'd go home.

Nope. There would definitely be chatting involved, it’s a social invite after all.
Really not going to eat then run.

Old school dinner here for everyone is 5pm.
B 0800-0900
L 1200-1300
D 1700-1800
i do communicate and guests know we eat at 5-6

Rather have a good drink and chat beforehand.

I’d expect to eat no later than 6pm

I don’t think I’ve ever been invited for earlier than seven. Normally offered a drink, chat for a bit then sit down about half an hour after arrival.

If I invite people for an evening meal i would specify
Come for 5, we Will be eating the first course at 6.

This allows time for drinks amd catch up, perhaps nibbles, before I serve the food. Also allows a gap if anyone is running late etc

In answer then, id expect to eat around 1 hour after being told to arrive!

Arriving at five past five when invited for five isn’t running late! You’re supposed to give the hosts a few minutes. Arriving ten minutes early (unless you’re very close) is bad manners imho. Sorry OP.

Sorry misread OP.

I'd expect them to arrive between 4.50 and 5.00 as it would be ready to serve.

Then after 15 mins we'd eat.

@Thesofathatwas is obviously not a small child 😊

You do raise an interesting point though @Spirallingdownwards when you say "If she did they would most likely have been invited for tea not dinner"

Demographics may very well be a determining preference.

It’s as rude to arrive early as it is to arrive late. If I invite someone to arrive at 6pm, it’s because I won’t be ready for them until 6pm.

Arrival 5pm for drinks and canapés sit down for 6pm.

6/6.30

Depends “come for dinner at 5pm” I would expect dinner quite close to 5pm

”come for dinner, arrive around 5” I’d expect dinner at some point in the evening and to be socialising beforehand.
7.45 is late though if you’ve been there since 5!