If you invite someone for a bit of dinner at 5pm, what time would you be cooking to sit and watch?

[Thesofathatwas]

Not a formal dinner party btw.
This has happened a few times.
Invited for tea, told to come for 5. Great! Thrilled!
Arrived at 4.50.
Didnt start cooking till 6.30. Ate at 7.45..
Could have eaten my own arm. Starving.

Happened again at a BBQ. Over 2.5 hours until food served.

Would this bother you or would you be meh?

if I was invited for 5pm (which is a weird time anyway) I would expect to have wine and nibbles and eat around 7pm. If I knew this in advance, and I didn’t want to hang around so long, I’d probably ask what time we will be eating and Amazon I’ll be there one hour before.

But I’m used to French times so if invited for an evening meal I would expect to eat at 8pm or later. Aperitif might be from 7pm though. 5pm - most people are still at work and school doesn’t finish until 4:30pm 🤷‍♀️

5pm is wine and nibbles time if that’s when the invite is usually

Take Doritos and dips next time

If I am invited for an evening meal, I will have a big snack or mini-meal about 4pm.

Once we went to a friends house and didn't get served until about 9pm (!😱) but watched them serve the kids (about 9-11 years old) a cooked meal at 7ish. As it was all open plan we had to watch the kids eat and try not to drool. Why on earth we didn't all eat together I don't know.
I was so glad I had that 4pm snack.

Surely you can clear this up by just asking when invited what time you’ll be eating? We invited friends to arrive around 3pm recently. We didn’t eat until 7:30pm but, during that time, had had a cup of tea & been to the pub. I’d also always made it clear that that was the plan

I've never arrived that early for dinner. That's a toddler's dinner time! Nobody has ever invited me for dinner earlier than 6, and I'd expect to have a chat first then they'd cook then we'd eat around 6.45pm. If they insisted on me getting there earlier & there was no sign of food for an hour I'd ask what time we're eating

5pm is too weird a time to arrive anyway I wouldn't know what to expect. Too late for lunch, too early for dinner. I wouldn't have a clue when we were expecting to eat.

I would be expecting something by about 6, unless told beforehand about what time the meal would be. I might ask, perhaps in the guise of whether a bottle of wine should be brought.

5 would be super early to eat for a dinner invitation so I would assume drinks/nibbles before and food anywhere from 7-8ish if it’s an adult thing.

I have a pet peeve about people turning up earlier than invited.

I wouldn’t have expected to eat before 7.

What time do you have lunch if you're ready to gnaw your own arm off by 7 or 7:30? 5 is really early to eat dinner.

I think your issue is that 5 pm is a weird time to invite someone to dinner, unless it's made clear that it's a family affair, and the guests are also bringing children, and the idea is that everyone will eat together early before getting the smallies home for bedtime.

if I'm inviting someone around for dinner, I'd probably invite them for seven, and aim to eat a 8 or 8.30.

I like to be really clear: what time would you like us to get there? When are you aiming dinner for and what can I bring / do to help? If invited for 5 I am assuming kids there too and my kids ND so if I don’t set expectations and manage blood sugar levels it’s going to be a car crash.

I eat early so I’d be chewing my own arm off 😂 I hate eating late!

Unless it was a kiddies tea party or something, I wouldn't expect to eat at 5pm. To me adult dinner time is about 7-9pm, with a 5pm arrival, I'd expect to be eating in the first half of that window, but it wouldn't be a big deal if it was later. And it's so, so rude to arrive early. Far ruder than being a little bit late.

Next time bring some pre-dinner snacks to open upon arrival. Crisps, olives, cheese straws etc. And eat an apple before you leave home.

I’d assume I was invited for the whole evening including chat, maybe a g&t before dinner, and I’d assume we’d eat at whatever time the hosts normally have dinner. It wouldn’t be weird to be invited a couple of hours before dinner to spend time with them chatting etc - I certainly wouldn’t be thinking we’d eat close to 5pm as that’s really early for dinner unless you’re a little child.

Basically the time you’re invited round doesn’t need to bear much relation to the time you’re actually going to be eating, assuming these are people you like chatting to and spending time with. If it matters to you ask them in advance, or assume that if they always serve up around 8pm or whatever, then that’s what is likely to happen this time too and plan accordingly.

Ok.
Ignore the 5pm invite, it’s bothered so many of you.
Say you were invited to tea, 7pm time given. No cooking taking place, no food served until 9.30pm.. what then?

I still believe it to be the height of rudeness to arrive late. In my circle, unless there’s something horrendous happened to delay arrival, if 7pm is given its 6.50-7pm arrival.

And agree - it’s awful to arrive early at someone’s house when they’re hosting. Fine to arrive early to meet someone at the cinema, or to a cafe etc, but when someone is getting ready for you to come round for the evening, don’t show up before they said!

That sounds nice 😊

I would always expect to eat around 30mins after the time I were invited for.

Unless the invitation were something like

"Will you come over and help me decorate this room / dig the garden / put together some flat pack furniture and I'll cook you something afterwards"

If I were invited for what seemed an unusual time for a meal, I'd probably ask 'About what time will we be eating, as that will make a difference to when I have lunch (or breakfast)?'

If going somewhere they had form for it - just being completely oblivious about time - I'd ask too.

We eat between 5-6pm. I’m obviously a toddler according to these comments.

When I’ve been at friends I’ve usually eaten around 7/7.30pm so I prep accordingly. I do get Hangry!

I have declined further invites.

We meet at a restaurant. So much easier and if I booked a table for 7pm and they didn’t serve until 9.30 there would be complaints.

My ex has friends that are notorious for this. Invited over for a barbecue at 5. Arrived at 6 to find the host wasn't even there and two other guests assembling the new barbecue. Nopes out at 7.30.

We usually invite people for 8 or 8.30, have an aperitif with drinks and light nibbles, and sit down for dinner around the table at 9.30 at the earliest.