How would you manage this childcare issue?

[firstworldprobz]

Probably a simple issue to fix but wondering how other mums manage this.

For context we have no other family (or friends who would be able to assist) so it’s just me and DH. DH works long hours and gets home around 9-10 in the week.

I work from home and freelance writing so I have flexibility to pick my DD up from school after clubs around 4.00-5.

From September I’m going to be studying and need to book my place on a course one day a week. The only courses I can find are finishing st 5.30 in central London, and we live in Zone 3. So all being well with trains I would get home (the school is close) by 6.15/6.30, but in the event of transport issues or strikes it could be later.

The school wraparound care finishes at 5.45.

What kind of childcare am I even looking for for this small once a week block? No nannies would work such a shift surely, but I’m also not comfortable with, say, an unqualified teenager looking after DD. (She is 5 and can be emotional, dysregulated after school and also hates having babysitters and gets really upset).

I know there are plenty of working parents without my flexibility who manage this daily, but I guess if you do it 5 days a week it’s easier to employ someone versus just one evening.

I really want to book this course as it will qualify me for further work but what’s the best solution for me?

An older person who is basically retired but would not mind working one afternoon a week is perfect, pick up straight from school so your kids don’t need after school club that day

Can DH not take annual leave?

I would be wary of any nanny who says they can do it due to them potentially letting you down.

I would ask the after school club staff if any of them would be happy to do an extra hour or 2 at your home.

I can imagine there would be a couple that would like this (especially if it’s cash in hand).

Annual leave for one day/half day a week for a year?

Ask the parents of one of your child's friends if they could have them either straight from school or after school club If their child also attends

Is there a local college or even a uni with an early years or teacher training course? if so you could contact the course leader and see if there's anyone interested in some relevant work.

My neighbour works through Sitters and she does exactly this for a family where she picks up from school, takes them home and then is around till a parent is home. She's older (in her 60's) so afternoon/evenings suit her, esp with a finish early enough that she can go to a evening sit as well.

Sometimes I do wonder if people on Mumsnet are either living in cuckoo land or just fail to read posts. Given he also works abroad during the week regularly, booking half a day for pick up when you're in Spain or somewhere isn't really going to cut it.

Even if he didn’t travel abroad it would be an unrealistic idea

Pay for more childcare than you need.

Different circumstances but I did this. I used all the hours I paid for. I only booked so many hours in order to make the job attractive for a decent candidate.

She’s already at ASC. In my OP I explained the timings - ASC would not stretch.

I would (and have!) done a swap with another friend. I had her dc one after school day and she had mine on a different day.

I also wonder if any friends or classmates have older siblings who could collect for you? They might be interested in the money and if you know the mum and they are relatively local, they are also there to support in an emergency.

I would also ask the after school club staff if they would be interested im extra hours. And also ask around for childminders.

Hope you get sorted!

Sorry I could have clarified this. The course is only 1 day a week but would be for 2 years.

my child is 5.5 in year 1.

I would look for a childminder who will do school pick up one day a week. The friend thing is fine while it works, but as others ahve said if the friend decides its not convenient you could be left without childcare. Plus I had a friend do this for me a few times and she would drive without car seats for the children.

This. It's only 1 day a week and why does it have to be always you who does every pick up

Everyone can apply for a flexible working request - why can’t your DH?

That’s what I would do.
If the course is something you want to do rather than have to do & you don’t have the flexibility at the moment, can it wait another year while you review your options or research other arrangements?
Children are only little once - there will be plenty of time when your dd is older and not so reliant on you.

Definitely not comfortable and don’t think it’s appropriate asking a mum friend when it’s a regular commitment for 2 years! Plus all the mums work.

Will have a think about Sitters and similar. It’s annoying the course doesn’t start an hour earlier and finish an hour earlier as then I’d be fine.

You need to find a childminder to pick her up that one day a week and drop the ASC for that day. That would make it more worth the while of the childminder.

Will the course definitely be running until 5.30? If you haven't already, I would check to make sure there's no other way to make up the hour from home later in the week, and finish earlier on the day you're at the course. I can't believe you'll be the only one with childcare commitments at that time of night.

Is there no option to attend online? It feels like particularly awkward timing as it's too early for the people at work and too late for the people with kids.

The issue with employing someone for so little hours is you'll have constant replacements - no one can commit to a 4 hour a week job (assuming you do the after school idea).

Yes that’s what my work colleague does.

They struggled to get childcare as there were such long waiting lists for nurseries and so he uses his AL and has 1 day off every week.

Some of the parents who work are presumably using ASC?

It's the pick up from ASC plus commute that is your issue - so if you could do an exchange agreement where you do the same ASC pick up for another child one day a week, enabling their parents to go into the office rather than WFH that day, then it's a mutual favour and not a cheeky ask.

So it all falls to OP?

If he can’t go abroad due to childcare then he’ll have go let his boss know.

Most courses are term time only and so he can go abroad during TT or OPs annual leave.

Why is the mum has to bend over backwards to accommodate the child but not the father.

I'd a similar situation years ago and one of the classroom assistants was able to look after dc for me for a couple of hours (in my house). So known to my dc while not being an official daycare/nanny/child minder as none of them would have seen a couple of hours once a week as worth it - worth asking?

I used one of the ladies from ASC to babysit.

She was more than happy to do it.

It was cash in hand, she was qualified/had experience and she already knew my child/they knew her.