How would you manage this childcare issue?

[firstworldprobz]

Probably a simple issue to fix but wondering how other mums manage this.

For context we have no other family (or friends who would be able to assist) so it’s just me and DH. DH works long hours and gets home around 9-10 in the week.

I work from home and freelance writing so I have flexibility to pick my DD up from school after clubs around 4.00-5.

From September I’m going to be studying and need to book my place on a course one day a week. The only courses I can find are finishing st 5.30 in central London, and we live in Zone 3. So all being well with trains I would get home (the school is close) by 6.15/6.30, but in the event of transport issues or strikes it could be later.

The school wraparound care finishes at 5.45.

What kind of childcare am I even looking for for this small once a week block? No nannies would work such a shift surely, but I’m also not comfortable with, say, an unqualified teenager looking after DD. (She is 5 and can be emotional, dysregulated after school and also hates having babysitters and gets really upset).

I know there are plenty of working parents without my flexibility who manage this daily, but I guess if you do it 5 days a week it’s easier to employ someone versus just one evening.

I really want to book this course as it will qualify me for further work but what’s the best solution for me?

Ask your husband to change his hours or hire a babysitter, I can’t imagine a childminder picking up such a small contract but you never know

After school nanny one day a week, offer a few hours and decent pay to attract someone.

I would ask my husband to change his hours/flexible working request. The only reason reasonable for this not to happen is if he is actually saving lives in his job or something like a pilot where he physically cannot get back. Given you have supported him by doing pick ups so far it’s only fair for him to support in this situation. If he won’t then I would ask him to sort the childcare for that one day and leave it with him to come up with ideas.

My husband can’t change his hours- it’s not that kind of job. He is also frequently working abroad during the week. So I basically have to factor him out of the equation.

I just want to know what kind of professional I’m looking for or if any such role exists.

My approach would be to ask a friend who knows your DD, or the mum of one of her school friends, to have her for tea this one day a week in exchange for you doing the same for their DD another day. If you're working from home other days that should fit in for you.

You say you don’t have friends that are able to help, but is there a class WhatsApp or similar? One of the school parents may be happy to do this for a bit of extra cash.

Ask the school for a list of childminders that collect from the school.

This is probably not going to be something a professional would be interested in,

with kids of nursery age the usual advice is to ask at the nursery as some nursery workers do babysitting outside nursery time and that way your child will know them.

if it’s one day a week for a term or so I’d try to find a “grandma” type person. Tell everyone at school/church/wherever you go this is what you are looking for.

Could you ask at the afterschool club if any of the staff are willing?

Or a childminder to pick her up from school for one night a week?

A site like Koru Kids or Bubble?

I probably wouldn’t do the course or I’d wait until my child was older. It sounds like you aren’t in a position to do it.

Is the course for a fixed time period? If you aren't keen on a babysitter then I agree another school mum might be best - and offer to either pay or reciprocate!

Childminder that collects from school? Maybe do it two days a week to make it more tempting for a childminder even though you'd only need it once a week?

After school club one or more days a week. Plenty of people use ASC less than full time.

Have you tried Sitters?

This is such a short amount of time, it'll be hard to find someone. A parent at the school you pay (and the child doesn't go to after school club that day) is probably best? Ask around

How many days a week would you be doing your course? And how long is the course for? I would probably go down the child under route and not use the after school clubs as it would need to be enough hours to make it worth their while.

Any school mum friends who would pick up if you couldn't get there on time? I'm eternally grateful to a mum that I had to ring and ask to pick up mine when I was stranded in London once, total panic, DH was hundreds of miles away and no one else I could think of or had a number for. Perhaps you could sound out any mums that your DC go on play dates with?

I personally would wait until she was a bit older and could cope better since you say she’s already struggling at the end of a much shorter day.

if there’s really no delaying this for a year or two I’d ask the after school club and offer way over normal rates. We paid £20/hour for babysitting recently from someone from after school club so maybe offer £40/week since it will be something around 2 hours? It needs to be enough money to be worth the faff.

I’m not sure I’d want to be relying on another school mum tbh. Because it would be an informal agreement, they could cancel at short notice if something came up or if they just didn’t fancy it that evening, and leave you in the lurch, even if they had the best of intentions when they agreed to the arrangement.

I’m assuming it’s too many days for your DH to take annual leave on the course days so that he can do the pickup?

So unless you can find an online version of your course, I agree with the PP who said you should delay doing it until your DC is older and childcare isn’t an issue, I’m afraid.

I would see if any local childminders would be able to help. I have children for wrap around care just 1 day a week & can work till later if needed.
I'd also ask other mums who may be able to do one evening if you're able to do another in return or possibly a night of babysitting. There are always parents who don't have any family close by & they may also appreciate a bit of help as a swap.

Put it on a website like childcare or Koru kids and present it like a babysitting gig that must include after school on that day each week but will also be occasional evenings/weekends/school holidays by agreement - makes it more appealing plus it sounds like you’re getting busier so maybe good to start lining up people your daughter can get to know.

Otherwise do a childcare swap with another school parent.

Just babysitter or childminder

Do you have a cleaner? If so and you have a good relationship with them you could perhaps tie it in with a cleaning day so they are at yours in any event and may be happy with a couple of extra hours work and maybe do a bit of laundry or ironing while supervising dd. Sort of a mother's help type role.

Otherwise I'd ask a mum friend. We always have dd's bff after school on Friday for a few hours. It's no trouble as she just does what dd does, in fact if if anything it is easier than dd alone because they play together

I’d ask a mum friend. I’d do this for a friend if they asked, it’s such a short amount of time and, for a temporary period. But offer to have their child in return or help them out, whether in the day or an evening babysitting so they can go out

We used to drop kids of a friend at breakfast club a couple of days a week along with ours, as this made their commute easier. The mum was then our evening back up (she had an early finish) if there were any train issues. Worked well for years.