Tell me about your second (or third!) wedding especially if you married again in 'midlife'

[Perfectnightssleep]

What did you do? What went well and what do you wish you'd done differently?

Did you make any short cuts to save money or splurge on something?

We are having a tiny wedding soon and
I can't decide what to invest in and what to skip eg a professional photographer, flowers on the dining table etc.

We want a lovely day but it's more being married than the wedding and we want to keep it low key, no fuss!

My ideal would be the two of us would have run away and we're pretty close to that with such tiny numbers :)

Splurged on champagne, good food and plenty of it, and a free bar for guests. And a really good honeymoon.

Spent adequately on venue but with 80 people we had to.

I spent too much on the dress and regret it a bit but couldn’t find anything off the peg at all and left it too late for extended internet shopping and returning. I should have asked for advice from Mumsnet earlier.

We walked down the aisle together hand in hand.

Told the guests we weren’t having a photographer and asked them to take and share lots of photos and got some absolutely lovely ones. We knew that really you only need one good one of the two of you for the mantelpiece.

Asked for either no gifts at all, or a charity donation, or a bottle of wine. We had some amazing wine that year.

Love that both mums walked down just before you 🥰 I’ve never seen that before!

My DS walked me down the aisle when I married DH 🥹 (I was worried my dad might take offence, but he didn’t! He said he’d done his bit first time around and at DSis’s wedding 🤷🏻‍♀️😂)

2nd wedding... .just the 2 of us abroad. No flowers, no white dress,random witness. Perfect.

25 guests, beautiful local hotel/ pub venue on the river, hired a boat for trip up and down the river on arrival with champagne then civil ceremony and afternoon tea. Started at 12 midday, home by 4 pm.
It was lovely and many of the guests said how refreshing it was not to have an endless day and night.
No speeches, very limited posing for photos, guests told to wear whatever they were comfortable in, no gift list, flowers by local lady.
A fabulous wedding.
Shame about the groom as now divorced!

This sounds absolutely wonderful! What a kind and thoughtful community you have become part of.

Recently got remarried and it was super low key. Dh wore a suit he had and I bought a long dress with sparkle from John lewis. Not expensive at all. We had caterers deliver a buffet to our house where we all came to after a small registry office wedding. Dh and me walked the aisle together and pretty much cried through the whole ceremony 🥰. Our youngest was the ring bearer and our middle read a poem. By this point all our guest were in tears too 😭. It was gorgeous. We came back to our house where a few other guests had gathered, the total was about 70ish. We had put up a gazebo in our garden with heaters as is was February and had music pumping around the house. We had unlimited drinks and everyone ate, drank and danced. I would absolutely do it all again tomorrow and would not change a single thing. It was a joy.

That sounds so lovely! Apart from the groom obviously!

On timings, we are not doing an endless all day and evening thing as we want time on our own and don't have the energy!!

My second wedding, in midlife, was really small and perfect.

What we spent money on:

A limo because I wanted to arrive in style
Also, I took 7 little kids in it and they loved it (all under 10)
Waitrose food delivered to a friend's house as she hosted 6 of us in the evening Gifts for the children to keep them occupied, crayons, that kind of thing
Rose petals for confetti and for the tables
My dress, but it was less than £200 and wasn't a wedding dress, it was purple
My hair, but only usual hairdresser prices
Paying for everyone's food after the ceremony in a bistro (few hundred quid)

What we didn't spend money on:

The marriage venue - it was a registry office but one in a beautiful building
The venue for food afterwards, we found a bistro with no hire charge
A photographer, a friend took photos
A cake, my sister made one
Flowers - I had a bouquet (I think?) but not an expensive one
Rings, they were £35 each

It was an amazing day. There were only our immediate family there, our children, my 2 best friends and their children, so a total of about 18 of us.

Most people came to the ceremony, came to the bistro where we had the whole floor to ourselves (weekday! 3pm!) and then went home. DH and I then went to my friend's house where we had an evening of Waitrose food and Champagne, just my 2 friends, their husbands and us. It was perfect.

My sister made a speech, we didn't bother with a gift list and we arranged it all in 21 days. Invitations were by text followed by a homemade card in the post. It was over 25 years ago and we're still together.

My only regret is that I didn't lose 5 stone beforehand but oh well. I still haven't so if I had waited we still wouldn't even be married now and some of the people who attended are dead now so I'm glad we did it when we did.

Good luck! ETA rings

I'd add that actually we did get a Paul Smith suit for DH and that was worth it. And the photos weren't great, I wish I'd hired someone professional tbh.

We went on holiday to Cyprus and booked our wedding at the registry office for when we were there in Paphos. It's an absolutely beautiful building with lots of marble everywhere and wonderfully cool.

We did book a wedding cake, sandwiches and a yacht for the reception, which was only £250 for 3 adults and 2 kids.

All done for the price of a 2 week holiday (adding the £250 once we were there and saw what we could book) booked through Tui.

Dress was from Monsoon Bridal for approx £80. Husband wore a linen suit and kids smart/casual.

We'd booked for the 4 of us, but had to tell my sister we were getting married when she booked for the same place & time as she fancied a holiday, lol.

Told everyone else once we got home.

I wouldn't change a thing. I absolutely hated my 1st 'big white wedding', which was taken over by my mother and had everything I hated i.e very formal with speeches etc.

It’s the thread ‘critique my catering plan’ in Weddings. Ive had at least three complete different plans so far and am currently contemplating going back to the first one…

Second wedding for us, just a couple of months ago. We had a register office ceremony followed by lunch for family only (about 25 of us) and then a big party with DJ and for about 120 in the evening. We had the best day and loved every minute. We considered skipping a photographer, but in the end hired one for a couple of hours to get pictures before, during and after the ceremony as well as some during the early part of lunch. We’re so pleased we did as we have so many wonderful photos of us and our loved ones which we will always treasure.

We loved the ideas of eloping, but there is no way our family (especially our kids!) would have forgiven us!

We had neatest and dearest only - parents, siblings, our kids, a few friends totally around 50. We were 43 & 53 at the time and had it in a beautiful manor in the Cotswolds. The evening was just a room with music and lovely food - everyone gone by 9pm. The best thing about it compared to my first wedding was I spent all day with DH which was lovely.