Jealousy over diagnosis - thinking of staying off social media

[Silverwhining]

I shared a personal experience about a serious health issue and misdiagnoses on a Facebook group from where I used to live. Many people had wondered why I disappeared for 10 years, and the condition was part of the reason I moved away quietly. Most responses were kind, but one long comment accused me of lying and seeking attention. Some people didn’t even think it was actually me, though others verified it by asking questions only I could answer. The comment was entirely driven by jealousy and ultimately led to my post being removed and me being banned from posting.

To be fair, years ago some people pretended to be me online as a joke, but this was very different. Some people who know me say the Internet is savage and they would not say things like that face to face. This has really affected me and I feel it might be better for my mental health to avoid social media completely.

Is this a diagnosis that unlocks benefits? Nor surprised then.

I think those who like to call it out is looking for drama. Some people like to make it all about them and how hard done by they feel. Op said she payed privately the woman venting at her is broke and can't afford it. All the op can do is feel sorry for her her kids will be on the waiting list a long time. The quickest way is to go private.

Strange that you would be banned and your post removed if you were the victim in this situation. I suspect there's more to your behaviour than you're telling us.

And more to what happened ten years ago.

It don't take much to upset people online. People are becoming more angry these days and social media has not helped people's mental health. Social media can be good when talking to the right people but it's not the same as real life. It wouldn't take much to have the op removed from the group if one person reacted badly.

To answer your question (said with love/respect &

1. Don't post personal stuff on Facebook groups maybe post on your timeline only as some Facebook groups have many users on there amd you don't know what their intentions are (some bad e.g. stealing other people's data/info' for nefarious purposes). You don't know them all either .
2. Don't post too much personal information on social media anyway for above reason in point 1 e.g. people may use your information for bad reasons as I've said .
3. If you hadn't posted in a long time & don't live there I understand why you may have thought you needed to post for sympathy & your reasons but I would question the reasons for it /need to do so & it's relevance to my life .
4. Delete /block the person they are unhinged and your diagnosis is unlikely to mean that they won't get a diagnosis because adults and children often get diagnosed via different avenues anyway in the NHS. For example (speaking from experience of my adhd diagnosis , adults get diagnosed via a different path to kids e.g. kids typically go via cahms and adults go via the gp , then have to go to their local NHS funding board to get approval for a diagnosis...whereas kid'd diagnosis is automatically funded )....
5. I am guessing its some kinda diagnosis for either mental health or asd /adhd because of the way you come across in your post . This isn't meant as a slight because a) i have adhd myself amd don't see this as an issue , and b) I am trying to help c) it is the understanding of social norms' that neurodiverse people sometimes struggle with. This can be an autistic trait /asd .

Forgive the lack of grammar/abbreviations/poor use of capitals bit it is quicker to type it as it was a long answer and its 2am .

Listen you made a fuck up 10 years ago and ran away. People will have forgotten , you didn’t need to re bring it back up. Whether you have a diagnosis or not doesn’t change things and it doesn’t excuse any behaviour you could have possibly done. You live and learn. Focus on the future and getting on with your life now.

What is this e.g. what does it mean ?

Edit to the above, apologies it should have said , "(love, respect & kindness )".

@angelfacecuti75 it's just spam, probably a bot don't click any of the links, just report

No I haven’t been for years (unless MN counts).

It does. Pretty sure that is what @SevenYellowHammers was getting at

Embarrassing yourself, it's not a flex to have a diagnosis of anything. Literally, no one cares

I’m genuinely confused as to why you’ve gone on a FB where you lived such a ONG time ago to give this news - there’s probably barely anyone there who was when you left. If your condition meant you behaved badly to specific individuals then reach out to them to explain/apologise. But you just open yourself up to ridicule from trolls, or judgement from those who don’t know you,

I have a couple of FB friends who vague book or post about nothing than health issues. You eventually get sympathy fatigue, and it does start to feel like it’s just attention seeking.

People aren’t “genuinely confused”-just nasty.

Who encouraged you to post on social media? That seems like poor advice.

I agree that the forum you selected wasn't the right place. Were you well enough known in the area that people would still remember you 10 years later, and be invested in your medical status? Regardless of any of that, I don't think it was right for people to leave harsh comments.

Are there support groups for your diagnosis, either online or in person? Those might be a better place to go to seek support and connection.

If find a suppport group if you are looking to share your story, be validated. Going on a forum you have been absent from for 10yrs, seems a weird place to do this, and I can understand why people questioned it. The other person clearly had some frustrations around diagnosis, I’m assuming (probably incorrectly) it’s a neurodiversity diagnosis you laid for, and she’s frustrated that publicly that takes years. I hope you have the support you need, but I can see why people were confused, as explaining your behaviours from over a decade ago is a bit weird

Op, I am sorry you experienced this. Most of all though I’m very glad you got a diagnosis. Hopefully this has helped and will continue to help you understand yourself.

The behaviour on Facebook by the other person could have been jealousy or lack of understanding.

I would try as other posters have said not to post personal things on social media.

Is there anyone you can reach out to at all IRL for support? If not do look for a local charity for those with the condition and see if you can make some connections there.

I think people who post personal stuff on local Facebook pages are attention seekers who are craving sympathy. No one needs to know your medical history, no one on a local group cares. Post on your own page but not on a local one.

Local groups are for lost cats, emergency plumbers, what time is x open/closed, whose door is this the evri driver has delivered my parcel here, my car/van was broken into by the local crack head, parking complaints, general stuff not for people to off load their latest medical diagnosis.

Maybe you were seeking attention? Otherwise why did you post?

It is quite telling that you’ve chosen to totally ignore the post from @ProbablyFineTBH who it appears actually saw your post on facebook, had a balanced take on the comments they saw, which would possibly help de-escalate the drama for you.

I see so many people, especially women who have had private ND diagnoses, suddenly make everything everywhere about their diagnoses. I do understand why (the utter relief and joy at understanding) but people who were previously quite private about or anonymous in life who suddenly make everything about them
and their diagnoses will piss people off for a number of reasons.
1 telling everyone about going private rubs it in the faces of those who can’t afford it especially if they or their children are seriously struggling - in reality no one in a town of strangers cares you’ve struggled, they’re not family and most won’t be friends.
2 youll always get ‘well my child is more autistic than you and they don’t get any help and my life sucks’ types who are also just offloading and stressed and don’t need your revelation.
3 nobody other than you actually cares, truth is.everyone else is so caught up in their own lives and ill health that they don’t have the time and energy to congratulate someone who offloads in a totally unrelated public forum.
4 it was really inappropriate in a local area fb group which is about my cat is missing and who wants their nails done this afternoon in the back of my Corsa?

OP I’m guessing your diagnosis is ND and it’s brought you out of burnout and you want to prove to the world, see? I’m not mad after all but the reality is nobody else is invested in your mental health or neurodivergence and you naively posted somewhere public about a very personal issue making it sound like a flex. I’ve no ideaa what prompted you to go back to somewhere from ten years ago and do this but you’ve now learned that it probably wasn’t wise. It’s best to move on and forget about it.

There is always an element of risk when you share social media posts with the world. Not everyone is going to respond in a way that supports your narrative and that can hurt but that is the nature of SM.
If I was you, I would be looking to do some work on myself. Work on improving your self esteem so that you do not need validation from social media.

You know the truth so take comfort from that. It sounds like this other woman has had a hard time with her child and is reacting from a place of pain . I’m sure you can relate to that having been through your own tough journey with this illness.

I hope you can put this behind you and concentrate on moving forward and maintaining your healing.

You went online hoping to get support didn't get it and are now online posting about not getting on line support and again not getting support. I think actually you are seeking validation and that rarely works out well on any online forum. I think you should stop seeking on line support tbh.

Yes definitely come off social media OP. I'm increasingly unclear of the purpose of social media, but I'm confident that it's not there for explaining a 10 year old life decision to a bunch of geographically linked strangers.

I think Nextdoor maybe had the right idea - lost cats, selling sofas and minor crime.

Hello,

Try not to think about it anymore. It’s done now. What I would do is think about what you can learn from this. My advice is to not share on social media. Sometimes people overshare looking for connections but it doesn’t work out. Stick to your friends in real life. I came off social media 3 years ago and it’s brought so much peace to my life. It’s made me aware of how it dominates so many people. Photos of everything for everyone’s benefit!

Take care.x

May I ask whether the diagnosis is autism and the misdiagnosis was EUPD/BPD?