How honest are people with friends about money?

[GirouxSein]

I’ve noticed money comes up more in conversations lately, especially with rising costs. Some friends are very open about what they earn, what they spend, what they’re struggling with. Others avoid the topic completely.
I tend to keep things vague because I don’t want comparisons or awkwardness, but sometimes it feels like I’m being secretive for no reason.
What’s the norm these days? Open conversations or polite avoidance?

I don't discuss what I earm with anyone. Its not something I want to talk about.

i guess it depends on the group and history.
i worked in nursing everyone knew each other's pay scale and therefore annual income fairly easily.
small company town and same for dh.
having lived in a village for 30+ years lying just isn't a done thing because people always find out, nothing wrong with discussing outgoings either as it's fairly obvious if you send your child to a nursery/childminder or university.
i learned so much from my colleagues several of whom were very savy with investments and day trading, flipping properties, being super frugal and excellent with cc and points.
i worked with the same ladies all that time we knew a lot about each other's lives.

DH and I are very private about money, as are our friends. I've noticed that our young adult DC are much more open about it.

My pay is public information if you were to Google my job title but, what my savings and living expenses are is totally private.

I'm never flashy and would be looked over if a friend if relative wanted to borrow £100 and that's exactly how I like it!

None of my friends know what each other earns or has savings wise but we do know if someone is struggling because it comes out in arrangements or conversation eg let’s get tickets for so n
so and it’ll be sorry not for me I can’t afford it . We don’t know specifics but we do know whose on a budget and whose not .

Never discussed.

I never talk to.my friends about money. I have more than they think. I live in a flat, dress down and don't even have a car ( like it that way). But I have substantial savings.
Always leads to envy and snide comments

I am very comfortable, more than most of my friends, so I don't like to talk about it. I feel a bit guilty.

I have a small friendship circle and trust these friends very much so I’m open about my money - the ups and downs of it - just like every aspect of my life.

I was brought up that if was poor taste to discuss your income and I have never mentioned my salary/house hold income to my friends or family . None of my friends or family have ever told me their income.

I do complain about increased taxes,VAT on school fees stamp duty etc, I just don’t elaborate on how much it impacts our specific income

I think it’s useful for women especially to discuss money with friends as it’s very political, especially when children come into the picture, or when negotiating payrises. I’m open with my friends and vice versa. We also live in an expensive area, and everyone has been open who has had family help with a deposit which I appreciate as otherwise it would make others feel they must be doing something wrong not to be able to afford to buy.

It's nobody else's business as far as I'm concerned if other people want to chat about it that's their business too.

I have had zero family help for deposits or anything else, and I notice that people who have had help are quite touchy about it, so best we don't talk about these things.

I was always quite open about money my closest friends no how much i earn and if I buy something I'm not secretive about how much it costs. But since being on benefits (I still work) I don't really discuss it as people can have strong negative opinions about that.

I've pointed this out on here more than once when people start making comments about how nobody/everybody "in my circle" or "I don't know anyone who..." in relation to various financial matters, including how much people earn, any benefits they claim, their level of savings, any inheritance or other financial help they get....

by the time you take all that into account, not to mention the surprising difference just being born a year or two earlier from someone can make, or things like going to uni or not, and if so having a grant/amount of tuition fees paid, whether parents help with childcare or if you pay for nursery, how early you bought a house and at what interest rate.....

Realistically I don't see how anyone can say with any level of confidence about anyone elses finances "in their circle" or not. Pretty much everyone in my life, including parents siblings and closest friends would be very surprised at the level of savings I have, for example, and I know another friend who is in a lot of debt but nobody else has the slightest idea.

Never discussed.

Although it’s fine to observe the cost of living increases with friends. I think open conversations about what is affordable is important, especially if you have friendships with shared dinners in restaurants, holidays etc. I would rather know if a friend was struggling so I could be considerate. That does not stretch to talking about salaries/savings etc.

We never discuss specifics, finance generally but that’s it. I would never lend money to anyone so have kept it all private as a refusal could possibly offend.

I have one friend that I'm very open with money about because we have a similar household income so she knows vaguely what DH and I earn and vice versa. It is actually really helpful when talking about pensions, savings and investments etc.

Other friends and family don't know the specifics. We will discuss finances, I think it's important to but I'm more likely to complain about my mortgage rate rising or discuss the price of food shopping rather than specifically how much we earn or have in savings.

I discuss it in general terms with friends - i think it’s especially important for women. I’m disappointed that so many of my female friends have no or minimal pension provision. It should be the culture to talk openly about things - if only to get women to realise they really need to be making more demands. In all cases these women have no pension because they stopped work, massively reduced working, or went self employed after kids.

Not something I would ever talk about. Bad form.

I'm quite happy to be open about money. I have worked in finance which tended to foster a fairly open culture and then also in the public sector so then you always know at least approximately.

I think it's useful to facilitate women asking for more money - the fact that we need to, are uncomfortable with it and how we're going to go about it is a topic of conversation amongst my professional friends.

I don’t think it’s ever talked about among my friends. I mean, it’s not terribly interesting, is it?

I’m open with what I earn to my close friends but not what I have in the bank or my assets.

Money isn’t often a conversation among my friends but when it is we are all pretty open about it, however these are friends I’ve had since we were in primary school and we are mostly on quite similar incomes so there’s not really much chance of nastiness. I wouldn’t be so open with new friends, or friends I knew were struggling financially.

The only time that I have discussed what we earn is when I got really cross with a family member who assumed that we were earning much more than we are but making poor choices. I let it go for a long time until I found out that they were discussing us behind our backs to other family members.

Other than that I have no desire to discuss our earnings or outgoings.