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Original poster

In trouble at work- over a quiche

574 replies

Coffeandtoast · 21/12/2025 08:38

Good morning

So on Friday we had a little gathering in the office at work. We all agreed to take in various food items and my contribution was quiches and sausage rolls.

so I took four quiches. At the end of the gathering there was one whole quiche left unopened.we agreed that we’d just share out the untouched food

I said that I’d just take the unopened quiche as we would eat it at home. In then comes Patricia, an older woman who I generally find quite difficult to work with. She’s self opinionated and knows everything. I generally try hard to get on with her but she’s a massive PITA. So she said something along the lines of “ you can’t just take the quiche until we’ve discussed who’s taking what” . I explained that I wasn’t to fussed about any of it and that she could just take the quiche, she carried on with her chuntering and huffing and puffing at me. So this is where it went pear shaped, I just snapped and shouted- “ just take the cunting quiche, Patricia”

it’s all kicked off and I have a HR meeting tomorrow regarding my foul language!!!!

OP posts:
MyrtlethePurpleTurtle · 21/12/2025 09:25

Coffeandtoast · 21/12/2025 08:42

It was a fucking quiche Lorraine!!!!

Show quote history

A cunting quiche lorraine 😉

firsttimesolotraveller16 · 21/12/2025 09:25

I’m afraid that that language just isn’t acceptable for the work place. You agreed you’d share the food, then waded in and said you’d take the quiche - that wasn’t the agreement was it?

You need to apologise. Whether you find her annoying or not.

thepariscrimefiles · 21/12/2025 09:25

Isadora2007 · 21/12/2025 08:48

Poor Patricia- I can see her point actually. You bought 4 quiches. £12 let’s say (I am think two for £8 in M and S, though I’m sure no M and S shoppers use such language so maybe they were £1 ones from Iceland)
Patricia bought crisps and dips- also costing £12. Everyone ate her dips so she gets £2 worth of egg sandwiches that were left to take home, and you wanted your £4 quiche. So she was just pointing out the agreed team arrangements- nothing really wrong with that tbh.

I always do my food shopping in M&S and I use such language regularly. Patricia sounds like a cunting pain in the arse.

Charlize43 · 21/12/2025 09:26

This is hilarious!

Clearly you need to prepare a back story of childhood trauma on how you had a nanny called Lorraine, who was a 'c*nt' and forced you to eat endless amount quiche when you were six or else you would be locked in the cupboard. You can also add that your therapist has advised that the only way to overcome it is to bake 101 quiches, but how you are conflicted that by making others eat quiche, you are forcing your trauma onto them. What do they think? Tell them that you can't even go into your feelings about caramelised onions as it is so triggering... You can also throw in that you had a pet pig called Patricia (for shits & giggles). Ask to lie down on the floor. HR will love it!

Friendlyfart · 21/12/2025 09:26

‘Cunting’ is a bit too far, but this Patrica woman is a PITA. Even ‘fucking’ would’ve been better …
good luck w HR.

TheEllisGreyMethod · 21/12/2025 09:26

Rule number 1 at work is to know who you're safe to swear in front of. Rookie mistake.

MyrtlethePurpleTurtle · 21/12/2025 09:27

EarringsandLipstick · 21/12/2025 08:44

I mean, you’re not in trouble over a quiche. It’s your use of language. That would be really inappropriate in my workplace. You need to explain the context and apologise sincerely for your language.

I get she was annoying but to the extent you had to lose your temper that significantly?

“You need to explain the context”

I’m not sure the context is of much help …

TwoLeftSocksWithHoles · 21/12/2025 09:27

That's just how the Battle of Lorraine (hence the quiche's name) kicked off in 1914.

Neville Chamberlain, aware of this, subsequently tried avert a war with Germany by offering 'Peas for Our Time' in the 1938 Munich Agreement.
(Of course they were tinned peas in those days, as frozen peas weren't introduced into the UK until 1946)

converseandjeans · 21/12/2025 09:27

What happened to the quiche, did you take it home or leave it for Patricia?

Goldenbear · 21/12/2025 09:28

Is there an opportunity to go on a course via work to manage those feelings?

FurForksSake · 21/12/2025 09:28

Patricia was coveting the cunty quiche.

MyrtlethePurpleTurtle · 21/12/2025 09:29

EmmaOvary · 21/12/2025 08:52

Quiche that job goodbye.

😆

FurForksSake · 21/12/2025 09:30

You should have punched the quiche.

QuickPeachPoet · 21/12/2025 09:30

You were totally in the right until you couldn't resist and opened your potty mouth.

MyrtlethePurpleTurtle · 21/12/2025 09:30

EmmaOvary · 21/12/2025 08:52

Quiche that job goodbye.

Yep, cunt see OP lasting long in that job 🤦‍♀️

Goditsmemargaret · 21/12/2025 09:31

This is very funny. But c'mon you need to keep control of yourself in work. That sentence should have been said in your head. Just apologise and move on.

Blueskiesandrainbows · 21/12/2025 09:31

Vile word, I’ve no idea why anyone uses it, it’s a bit pathetic that you have nothing more suitable in your vocabulary.
Not nice at all, no wonder you’re in trouble, it’s hardly in the Christmas spirit is it, do you often speak like that!

SoMuchBadAdvice · 21/12/2025 09:31

Coprolalia (Tourette syndrome) is your friend here. HR should allow you time off when Pat is creating stressful situations for you, and maybe they could send her on some training?

FurForksSake · 21/12/2025 09:31

Perhaps it was cunt-ry vegetable flavour?

MissyB1 · 21/12/2025 09:32

As a bystander at the buffet I would have attempted to defuse the row by immediately exclaiming “ Chuffing Quiche! She said chuffing Patricia! Honestly your hearing is going, might want to get that checked after Christmas”.

Minjou · 21/12/2025 09:32

Isadora2007 · 21/12/2025 08:48

Poor Patricia- I can see her point actually. You bought 4 quiches. £12 let’s say (I am think two for £8 in M and S, though I’m sure no M and S shoppers use such language so maybe they were £1 ones from Iceland)
Patricia bought crisps and dips- also costing £12. Everyone ate her dips so she gets £2 worth of egg sandwiches that were left to take home, and you wanted your £4 quiche. So she was just pointing out the agreed team arrangements- nothing really wrong with that tbh.

Nah. As soon as Patricia complained, OP told her she could take the quiche. Nobody was fussed. Patricia went on and on and on about it anyway, creating a problem that didn't exist.

SparklyGlitterballs · 21/12/2025 09:32

I'm not averse to dropping an occasional F bomb, but I personally hate the C bomb - awful word - and the use of it in the workplace is completely inappropriate. You deserve a wrist slapping from HR. That said, it appears you have trouble saying a sentence without an expletive in it. Maybe look at your communication skills before blaming the quiche (or Patricia).

CurlewKate · 21/12/2025 09:32

Obviously her being older is entirely relevant…

Everybodysinthehousetonight · 21/12/2025 09:33

Did Lorraine want the quiche?

soupmaker · 21/12/2025 09:34

RosesAndHellebores · 21/12/2025 09:10

I'm HR. Due to MNet, there is a very small minority of staff about whom I privately think "someone must have left the gate to the cunt farm open".

My only irritation would be that a christmas bring and share lunch got out of hand. Professionally, I'd advise you to be mindful of your language at work because there will be a small percentage of people who will perceive it as offensive and who will complain. I'd give you a copy of the professional boundaries procedure and ask you to read it and apologise to Patricia.

If Patricia didn't feel that was sufficient, I'd gently explain that you became frustrated and referred to a cunting quiche and had reflected. However, ime of disciplinaries spanning decades, you used an inappropriate word as an adjective about a savoury flan and that would not warrant time and resources on an investigation and panel to result in standard setting that already had taken place. If Pat pressed it, I'd say that an email setting standards would stay on your record permanently but a warning would be expunged.

I'd probably find a way of banning the cunting bring and share lunches in future, citing concerns from maintenance about crumbs and vermin

Somehow I'd manage not to roll my eyes but suspect Pat may already be well known in my department.

I’m the trade union rep in this scenario. There is a small minority of members for whom I think privately, who the fuck employed you!

I’d be advising OP to apologise profusely, accept that their language was utterly inappropriate for the workplace, that’s this was out of character (unless they have form) and wasn’t in any way directed at Pat. Lesson learnt. I’d be telling them under no circumstances to use the word “but” when spoken to by HR, even if Pat is an absolute pain in the arse.

When Pat wants to raise a formal grievance I’d be advising her she has the right to do so, but getting her to consider carefully what exactly does she think she’ll gain from it. No one will come out of this well - the manager hearing her grievance is likely to be pissed off - and it’ll be the perfect excuse for HR to ban workplace dos. I’d be outwardly sympathetic while internally muttering FFS all this over a cunting quiche.