In trouble at work- over a quiche

[Coffeandtoast]

Good morning

So on Friday we had a little gathering in the office at work. We all agreed to take in various food items and my contribution was quiches and sausage rolls.

so I took four quiches. At the end of the gathering there was one whole quiche left unopened.we agreed that we’d just share out the untouched food

I said that I’d just take the unopened quiche as we would eat it at home. In then comes Patricia, an older woman who I generally find quite difficult to work with. She’s self opinionated and knows everything. I generally try hard to get on with her but she’s a massive PITA. So she said something along the lines of “ you can’t just take the quiche until we’ve discussed who’s taking what” . I explained that I wasn’t to fussed about any of it and that she could just take the quiche, she carried on with her chuntering and huffing and puffing at me. So this is where it went pear shaped, I just snapped and shouted- “ just take the cunting quiche, Patricia”

it’s all kicked off and I have a HR meeting tomorrow regarding my foul language!!!!

Could you get away with saying they misheard you and that you said it was a country quiche with vegetables in it.

Honestly. It's not that deep is it? Even if someone did say the word cunting - sure Patricia will get over it and if the OP gets a slap on the wrist from HR - they won't repeat the behaviour

I dunno - there’s plenty of fan girls on the thread and at least two nominations for Classics

You want workplace acceptable behaviour policies to specifically say 'don't say cunt to colleagues?'.

Why would you use that word instead of fucking or bloody or whatever? You're not even swearing properly!

Apologise beforehand (if this is even true).

In your defence OP, you referred to the quiche as being ‘cunty’…….not Patricia didn’t you?! And that statement needs to form part of your account when you are summoned by HR.
Do come back and let us know please………and what actually happened to said quiche?

I’m spitting tea over the keyboard, have woken the baby up and DH has popped his head round the door to see what’s going on 🤷🏼‍♀️

I love this a “cuntry” quiche!

Thank you!

I get her muddled in my head with Caroline Aherne, for some reason.

No she didn't.

OP said allegedly "take the cunting quiche".

It usually works to your advantage in HR meetings to go into them with the assumption that you have done nothing wrong and say nothing more that you need to. The HR manager is then going to have to inform you exactly what they think you have done and more importantly what proof there is, don't fall for the usual 'Do you have anything you want to apologize for' or "Can you tell me what happened with (insert names, times or places as appropriate). Admit nothing.

I laughed way too hard at your op 😂

I have worked places that people wouldn’t have batted an eyelid at that incident and others where people would have been horrified. Only you know which your workplace is.

in terms of hr, I think the only thing you can do is say that you shouldn’t have said it, but I do think it would be fair to also point out that it didn’t happen in a vacuum, and that if they persue any kind of disciplinary action with you, you would like to raise the issue of Patricia’s demeanour and attitude towards you to be considered,

I once had a brain fart at work and informed my S2/Y9 register class that our school canteen was serving 'keech' at lunch.

Any Mumsnet Scots will know. Yes, I meant to say 'quiche'. Must have been a Freudian slip.

"M'lord, 'country quiche' is another term for Quiche Lorraine."

You shouted at her using foul language. Personally, I wouldn’t have taken it to HR, but knowing how this person is, you really gave her a golden opportunity to get you into trouble. That kind of language would be unacceptable in most workplaces.

"Just take the cunting quiche Patricia" could be a Mumsnet classic line.

yes.

And you YABU for being rude and vulgar. Instead you should assert yourself on or more regularly basis with her. In my experience people who nit pic li that can have autistic tendencies. You were out of line though. Do you often say That Word?

Country Quiche 😂

defiantly tell them you said Country Quiche.

This is classic mums net as we used to love it. 💝

Some posters are having fun with this but as many have said, you really shouldn't be using language like this. You lost your temper - apologise and move on.

I had a 3 month student placement at Leningrad Uni back in the '80s. That's where I learned that - in Russian - you can turn 'cunt' into a verb.

'Don't cunt!' roughly translates as "Don't muck about/don't try to fool me/don't try to fool yourself!" [According to my Russian/Azeri pal.]

You made my day 😂

I hope you don’t get in too much trouble. @Squirrelchops1 makes a good point the word was directed at the quiche not the self appointed buffet boss.

And when are women going to stop colluding with the view that a slang word for vagina is the filthiest word in the English language.

She said "country", m'lord! Patricia obviously misheard.

I rest my case:

https://www.food.com/recipe/country-ham-quiche-180387

Eeek I take my ‘young kids’ language to work because I swear sometimes … I insert words like sausages, flip flopping, fluffing … I think I’d have been hauled into HR by now otherwise 🤣
good luck

The alleged description was the cunting quiche
Are we to presume the quiche was to be avoided due to its difficulty interacting with others.
Could be the reason no one went near it and it remained intact.

Blame it on the cunting quiche for being difficult

Her ya go. It's just posh quiche Lorraine:

www.food.com/recipe/country-ham-quiche-180387