In trouble at work- over a quiche

[Coffeandtoast]

Good morning

So on Friday we had a little gathering in the office at work. We all agreed to take in various food items and my contribution was quiches and sausage rolls.

so I took four quiches. At the end of the gathering there was one whole quiche left unopened.we agreed that we’d just share out the untouched food

I said that I’d just take the unopened quiche as we would eat it at home. In then comes Patricia, an older woman who I generally find quite difficult to work with. She’s self opinionated and knows everything. I generally try hard to get on with her but she’s a massive PITA. So she said something along the lines of “ you can’t just take the quiche until we’ve discussed who’s taking what” . I explained that I wasn’t to fussed about any of it and that she could just take the quiche, she carried on with her chuntering and huffing and puffing at me. So this is where it went pear shaped, I just snapped and shouted- “ just take the cunting quiche, Patricia”

it’s all kicked off and I have a HR meeting tomorrow regarding my foul language!!!!

Sorry to be that person but why did we need to know the woman was older than OP. It's always an 'older woman' or 'middle aged woman' causing trouble isn't it? That will be you one day OP so careful how you describe all the hags a d crones!

And from Patricia’s point of view it might be:

We had a pot luck lunch on Friday, we had agreed we would split up any leftovers to take home. There is one colleague, Jayde, who I find difficult. She never listens to me and thinks she knows it all. I think she’s probably ageist. She’s also a bit of an attention seeker and finds herself hilarious. When it came to splitting the food I reminded her of the agreement to split the food, but she wanted to take a quiche that she brought. She then started rudely telling me to take it. I tried to explain again about splitting the food but she wasn’t listening. Suddenly she got very aggressive, snapped and shouted at me to take the ‘cunting quiche’, looking around for everyone to join in laughing at me. I’m shocked by her aggressiveness and have complained to HR.

Look, you didn't call Patricia a cunt and no one died.

Just apologise for your language, tell them you were stressed because Patricia is often rude, and it got the better of you.

I mean, it was literally your cunting quiche anyway. You bought it. So Patricia can cunt off.

Like Patricia, you have missed the point of the whole thing. With that attitude you might as well just sit eating a sandwich that you brought for yourself and insist that receipts are included with secret Santa gifts to make sure no one spend under budget.

Eh… you can’t demand someone ‘loses’ a word from their vocabulary because you think it’s horrible!

Indeed!

Now is the time to tell HR that Patricia is creating a hostile working environment. That she was belligerent, aggressive and was huffing and puffing.

You responded accordingly. Ask to see the workplace policy where “cunting” is specifically banned. Because, as an Australian, it is perfectly acceptable. Cunt is a slur or a term of friendship - “cunting” is Australian slang.

“He’s an absolute cunt” means “he is to be avoided due to his difficulty interacting with others”.

”He’s a sick cunt, hey” means that he has been accepted by the social group.

I'm shocked that Patricia has gone to HR, you didnt call her a cunt so whats her problem? She actually sounds like an absolute bitch.

You've assumed the OP is a woman
Why would you say the OP is an attention seeker and finds herself hilarious? What's that got to do with a cunting quiche

The only real context that matters is that it was in the workplace…

@EmmaOvary

Oh well done, Emma 👏 😂

@roobarbtwoI’m extrapolating that OP is an attention seeker who finds herself hilarious because she posted this on Mumsnet in the way she has. I’d be pretty ashamed to have lost my temper like that at work over nothing, and would be posting with a completely different tone if I really wanted advice about the situation.

Agree with this entirely. You’ve done nothing wrong, OP @Coffeandtoast

If a Christmas party counts as the workplace, the cunting OP’s Reclaim the Quiche outburst likely does

I'm Scottish and in my part of the world some people say cunt - a lot. Btw I'm not assuming that every other Scottish person does. I actually don't like the word - but if the OP had said fuck off Patricia you fucking cunt take the fucking quiche - obviously HR would step in

Cunting quiche? Could someone not have said watch your language and leave it there?

What food contribution did Patricia bring?

You are not in trouble over a quiche.
You are in trouble for losing your temper and using obscene language.

It sounds like the frustration you have with this colleague has been growing for a while. Your only appropriate way forward is to take responsibility for your outburst. Then you can decide whether to try and address the colleague way of communicating which you (and potentially others) find challenging.

A quiche is not a hill to die on.
Be completely charming and delightful to HR.
And innocent, of course!

This made me laugh so much. Some pearl clutchers on this thread.

A try hard for Classics?

Yeah definitely didn't happen, "take the cunting quiche Patricia" is too much of a mumsnet line.

Although I do have a similar one, my DD and I were waiting to cross at a very quiet junction in our small town, a pair of ladies next to us were also waiting.
One made as though she was going to cross without waiting for the green man. The other said to her "ooh, I wouldn't if I were you, Lesley." And Lesley dutifully stepped back.

My DD and I, plus various members of our extended family, say this to each other quite frequently. We would not, however, if it had included an expletive.

If you’d said that to me, I’d have thrown the quiche in the bin and reported you to HR. People shouldn’t have to put up with foul mouthed colleagues.

I’ve managed to survive a number of years in tbe workplace without cunting away and shouting at colleagues 🤷🏼‍♀️

I would guess it all depends on what you mean by “it all kicked off” and what else was said following the first comment. I would apologise, it’s not worth having something formal on your record for. That said, if I was there I’d have p*ssed myself laughing at that comment.

I've had awful colleagues who weren't foul mouthed - why on earth would you throw food in the bin because someone said the word cunting?