I had a near death experience - AMA

[Whatsinanames]

Just what the title says really. I had a major haemorrhage when I gave birth to my daughter a few years back. Lost basically all my blood volume very quickly. Heart stopped but was thankfully resuscitated by amazing doctors and am fine now. But I thought perhaps people might have questions about what it feels like to die, having effectively been through the process myself.

Thank you for sharing. My dd died from a cardiac arrest a few years ago. As a helpless spectator, it’s reassuring to think she was not in pain and her death was peaceful. She had multiple cardiac arrests and was resuscitated multiple times over the course of 5 hours so it was utterly traumatic for us as her parents. I cling on to the hope that she didn’t suffer in those final few hours. Thank you for helping me believe that to be true.

Were you in Intensive Care when you woke? What was it like coming to in those surroundings?

Hi op, interesting post, I had similar 13 years ago when I had an emergency ectopic with blood transfusion etc. I also had the images through my mind and it was all my family and especially my niece and nephew who were little at the time and who I love but am not particularly close to, I found that strange afterwards. I also didn’t have flashes/memories of Dh, even though I’ve been with him since I was 17, only family members (didn’t have my Dd at the time) did you have images of other people outside of blood relatives
Also wanted to ask if you became very cold beforehand? I was in a hospital room with Dh and I remember feeling v cold all of a sudden and telling him and he started to panic and he was calling Drs (they were waiting for my blood test results) I was then suddenly wheeled into the operating theatre, it’s at that point I felt scared and then like I was fading and the flashes of my family flicked through my mind. That was all until I cane round much later after being operated on

I can see why he’s an ex . What a selfish, self centered arsehole . I sincerely hope you went on to bigger and better things OP x

I too had an emergency ectopic and I’m lucky to be here . I felt a feeling of peace wash over me before everything went black . When I came round and recovered i came back a more confident chilled version of myself .

So sorry you were stressed by what your witnessed.
Unfortunately in this country, we are not very educated or prepared for the dying experience... Agitation, confusion etc are all common. The noise you've described is the death rattle and again common, although distressing for loved ones to hear as can sound horrific.

I hope you are able to process the experience and do reach out if you need support, there's lots of good bereavement services x

Aww 💓 it’s a strange experience isn’t it? Also v lucky to be here, it was very close. I remember in the dark room, I felt like I was fading and suddenly went v cold. As they hurried me out and away from Dh I felt scared and then calm & peaceful too with the thoughts etc, then out of it

Very interesting thread.

My then 8 year old son had a cardiac arrest 2 years ago in March and he doesn't remember a thing. He does remember some of the time he was sedated in PICU, he says it felt like he was dreaming and he was cross because he couldn't move or wake up.

The most heartwarming thing is that when he did wake up, he recognised one of the nurses voices who had looked after him a lot when he was in the coma.

Mine was post op in recovery. I remember the crash team being called and people putting a catheter, ECG cables on me. No pain. But clearly remember floating over a clam sea and seeing the ripples on the water glistening in the sunlight. I was a bit scared but calm and happy at the same time although logically definitely didn’t want to die and leave my daughter behind, but those thoughts didn’t factor as such.

I have not had a NDE but something similar, had to have adrenaline to the heart to keep going. On that occasion, I had a full anaesthetic and so I missed the whole thing and just woke up in ICU and couldn't take in what people were saying had happened.

I have also been very ill at a different time and felt exactly that feeling of being peaceful and accepting that I simply wasn't going to make it on this occasion. It wasn't frightening and I've not been frightened of death since that point. I do want lots of morphine though if I'm in pain and I've told my children that.

This is a very interesting thread, and the fact you felt your senses go one by one and then just your thinking/seeing mind left is fascinating.

It is also a bit strange that you just think 'oh well' about the whole thing. I get why your partner or husband might be a bit insulted, but I think the brain cushions you often at times of great crisis and basically makes you feel floaty and nice, a bit like your natural opioids kicking in when you injure yourself.

I also do think death experiences vary, I've seen several people die and some look easier than others, I also think some things that look frightening to us, like the 'death rattle' are not terrible to the person, they are in a coma and out of it. That said, those who have lost someone in a traumatic way recently, I'm very sorry as with better end of life care, those last few hours could have been easier on all of you.

HospiceNurseJulie is a great FB person to follow if you are interested in honesty but kindness around what it's like to die, and I think she's also written a book. She is a hospice nurse that goes to people's houses and helps the family and person understand what is happening and what will be possible and it seems to help people so much as half of the problem is the sheer fear and misunderstandings about what is happening.

My brother went through something similar to your experience OP.

He has had multiple cardiac events, the worst being when he collapsed in my parents WC and was having 15-30 seconds flat lines on his internal ECG at about 17 years old.

We tried for ages to get him out of that toilet (door locked, small space) eventually a NDN who was a fireman managed to get in and start trying to resuscitate him.

When he spoke about the experience later, he said he was the most calm and at peace he'd ever felt. He didn't mention a white light but he remembers seeing people in the toilet with him, about 4-5 (impossible as the loo was the width of one person!) and that it was people who he knew and that it was 'okay', almost an acceptance that this was the end.

It's made me not fear death so much.

Hi OP. Just wanted to share that I went through something very similar, also due to blood loss. It was very peaceful and it's given me comfort to think that those near and dear to me probably experienced the same on their passing. It was a lovely experience.

As much as I'd love to go with a spiritual explanation for what I experienced, I have found scientific explanations for it all. Kind of disappointing really. 😁 Like hearing the rushing sound that many describe - just blood pressure dropping.

I'm glad you're still here with us. And I'm glad that I'm still here for my family too.

I used to work on a medical ward and saw that a patient had had a cardiac arrest. His dentures had partly fallen out so I placed them in a drawer right behind the bed. It had been pushed back to the resus team could get around him. We did resuscitate him and afterwards when I was alone with him I said ‘right where are your dentures?’. He said ‘they are in my drawer at the back there’. I said ‘how did you know that, you were being resuscitated’. He said ‘because I was floating above watching you all resuscitate me and I saw you put my dentures in the drawer back there’. To say I was freaked out as a nurse was an understatement. I wish I had asked him more questions but I couldn’t.

@Whatsinanames my son died following a carotid artery haemorrhage and it's a great comfort to read of your experience as the scene of his death was very shocking as you can imagine. He did look at peace though, despite all of the blood, and I can now believe he felt as you described. Thank you.

@cherubneddy - am so sorry to hear about your mum. When people's CO2 is very high it causes dysfunction of rhe brain (encephalopathy) and often agitation - but I do not think this is associated with the thoughts and feelings that someone without briain dysfunction would have, if they were behaving in the same way.

So more like reflexes than 'felt' distress. And people who recover from encephalopathy don't remeber the agitation afterwards. I dont know of this is of any comfort but your mum would not have been experiencing this in the way that you were.

I find it interesting that others have joined the thread with similar experiences and all of us report the same - no one so far had reported feeling distressed or in pain. But of course your experience with your mother is yours and hers and no one can say what her experience was. What I would say is the physiological response of the body shutting down does seem pretty common so it’s not unreasonable to extrapolate.

Regardless, the point of this thread is not for me to tell other people what their experiences were. It’s an AMA because I’ve seen over the years many people are curious. So I do have something to say - my experience in answer to questions about it. Which some people have, for a variety of reasons including pure curiosity, which is fine

I am so so sorry for your loss

Memories were husband, kids, my lovely brother and sister, some friends, sort of like I felt their presence with me? I don’t recall thinking about my parents, oops. But only visual memory like a video was of my eldest daughter.

I don’t remember feeling cold - i just realised at some point I’d lost feeling in my body and i couldn’t move.

Someone asked where I woke up but can’t find the message. Regained consciousness in theatre. I guess they wanted to stabilise me there in case i needed further intervention? But I’m not a doc so not sure why

One point of clarification for whole thread - my experience was a calm peaceful one, this is not me saying all deaths are calm and peaceful. It’s my hope that many / most the actual time of passing would be even if the preceding events are horrible because in the final moments the body releases chemicals which calm us. But if a person was being murdered and fighting for their life I can imagine the physiological response would be different.

Of course we don’t know.

Thank you for the thread OP.

I wanted to ask why do you think that was? I woke up more anxious than ever but I think that perhaps I didn’t get close enough to dying.

Yes I def wasn’t more laid back and confident afterwards, I think I probably had ptsd for a long while as kept panicking and went back to emergency over the coming months over any stomach twinge. In that moment before being operated on though, I felt peaceful

Im finding this so interesting, thank you for posting OP and I'm so sorry to those who have lost loved ones.

I also experienced severe blood loss (after miscarriage) that caused me to go unconscious, although I did not come anywhere near as close to death as you OP. But like some previous posters, there are lots of similarities in the experience.
Before I lost consciousness I was aware the situation was serious and it's the only time in my life I've truly contemplated death. I remember everything going dark (possibly my eyes closing) and thinking, oh dear, I think I'm dying. Not in a scared or panicked way but I did feel sad.
I then thought about my husband and son and felt sad for them that they were going to lose me and I remember thinking that I hoped the family would rally round and support them. Gosh its making me cry to remember, it was quite an intense thing to go through. At no point did I feel scared, but I did feel sad. I also felt peaceful though.