I had a near death experience - AMA

Whatsinanames · 2025-12-20T23:47:28+00:00

Just what the title says really. I had a major haemorrhage when I gave birth to my daughter a few years back. Lost basically all my blood volume very quickly. Heart stopped but was thankfully resuscitated by amazing doctors and am fine now. But I thought perhaps people might have questions about what it feels like to die, having effectively been through the process myself.

pippapipps · 20/12/2025 23:56

Sorry you went through that op, did you have an out of body experience.. does that even happen? Can you recall anything after your heart stopped?

PineappleCoconut · 20/12/2025 23:56

Me too, had an event on the operating table.
I thankfully have no recollection, but it was very odd to wake up in a different hospital to the one I went into in ICU, with my surgeon and husband both looking scared.

Vivisays · 21/12/2025 00:05

Tell us your experience, please.

Starlightstargazer · 21/12/2025 00:29

what a scary thing to happen to you and your family (understatement). Hope you are ok now?

Did you know that you were becoming really ill near death?

AdjustingVideoFrameRate · 21/12/2025 02:15

Interested to hear about any aspect of your NDE. Can you describe it? Glad you’re ok!

VoltaireMittyDream · 21/12/2025 02:19

I’ve hust been reading about NDEs after losing my mum to a sudden cardiac event last week. I’m desperate or some reassurance that she wasn’t in pain and frightened. Anything you could say that would help would be much appreciated.

NautilusLionfish · 21/12/2025 02:23

I will ask the embarrassing ones
Did you see or feel yourself leave your body?
Did you see episodes of your life(life flashing by?)
Did you see anyone religious or feel like you were in another real (life after death? Transcendent peace? Hell?

Good you are still here

Bones101 · 21/12/2025 02:30

ED doc here op. Delighted you are well now. I'm sure you live life better than most of us and appreciate everyday. Have a wonderful Christmas xxx

bleakmidwintering · 21/12/2025 03:28

F

Original poster

Whatsinanames · 21/12/2025 09:09

VoltaireMittyDream · 21/12/2025 02:19

I’ve hust been reading about NDEs after losing my mum to a sudden cardiac event last week. I’m desperate or some reassurance that she wasn’t in pain and frightened. Anything you could say that would help would be much appreciated.

I’ll start with this one as I thought that this thread might help people in your position.

I am so sorry for your loss.

So my ‘cause of death’ was a cardiac arrest so I probably have some insight.

I would say I absolutely knew, instinctively, the way you know you’re thirsty or tired that I was dying now and this was the end of the road. This was absolutely not a scary thought. It was more a feeling of wonder, like - wow this is something we all do, and only once. I felt incredibly peaceful and content. I was sad that I wouldn’t be around for my kids growing up, but in those final minutes all the wonderful things in my life flashed by and I felt so grateful for all the love I’ve had in my life.

I absolutely felt no pain at all. And I gather from advanced cardiac events this is not uncommon.

It’s my firm belief that your mother would have been at peace in her final moments, and probably thinking of you with immense love. The final image in my mind was of my older daughter making sand castles on the beach as a toddler and laughing. It was crystal clear.

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Original poster

Whatsinanames · 21/12/2025 09:19

@Starlightstargazer and @Vivisays

Gave birth to daughter and there were some complications. Became aware I was losing a lot of blood. The atmosphere in delivery room went from happy (had just delivered healthy baby) so quite hushed and then full on panic. At this bit I was quite worried.

And then as the atmosphere starting getting more intense I started to sort of fade away. At this point I felt that I was dying. I knew, as you absolutely know something that my body was shutting down.

First I couldn’t really feel my body, then I realised even though my eyes were open it was really dark and then that I couldn’t see at all. Then the bright light came, and as it got bigger my hearing also faded. Then i came to - what felt like minutes later but was actually a long time, like a thump, bang, and it was like all my sensations rushed in and assaulted me suddenly it was bright and loud. Like being woken up from a deep sleep by a bucket of water on your head!

The whole experience for me was interesting, not traumatic. I guess it’s evolution your body releases a lot of hormones to keep you calm in your final minutes. I felt very calm and very at peace. Almost like a rush of love hit me. I understand many who have been through this process say same, so I assume that’s what it’s like when people are dying permanently (other than in traumatic situations I guess).

Graham Norton randomly talked about a near death experience he’d had as a young man - actually he’d been stabbed so it was traumatic - and said very similar things

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Cherubneddy · 21/12/2025 09:22

i was with my lovely mum when she died yesterday. It was horrific. She had COPD and s build up of CO2 that killed her. At lunchtime she was chatting to the nurses and complaining about the lunch they gave her, within 10 hours she was dead. It was such an awful death. She was so agitated. I spent the last 3 hours of her life physically fighting with her to keep her in her bed, she was trying to climb out. She was screaming out. I begged the ICU nurses to help but there was little they could do without the dr’s say so, and as it was the junior drs strike they were in short supply. They eventually gave her a syringe driver and she died within 15 mins of that going in. I’m haunted by her final breath, it was like something out of a horror movie as she rose up from the bed gasping for air, with her chest making the loudest, most awful noise. She turned grey in about a second.
I think she was trying to escape dying by trying to get out of bed. She was a fighter. She definitely wasn’t ready to go. If there’s any words of reassurance or comfort you can give after your experience I’d be very grateful.

Original poster

Whatsinanames · 21/12/2025 09:26

NautilusLionfish · 21/12/2025 02:23

I will ask the embarrassing ones
Did you see or feel yourself leave your body?
Did you see episodes of your life(life flashing by?)
Did you see anyone religious or feel like you were in another real (life after death? Transcendent peace? Hell?

Good you are still here

It was more like my self / soul was melting away from my body. Or evaporating. I could physically feel my senses shutting down one by one. First pain / feelings, then sight, then lastly sound. But even with sound gone I still had some thoughts and consciousness for a while even though at that point i would say my body was gone.

I did see episodes of my life - or just one specifically which was older daughter laughing and playing. It’s more like I felt the presence of many happy memories around me, so I didn’t see them like a video (other than DD) but i felt their collective presence. All good memories no sad ones which was nice.

I was an atheist before and still am now but the fact my thoughts were totally separate from my body makes me feel that maybe a part of our consciousness exists on in a dream. But scientifically I don’t see how that could be the case.

OP posts:

Original poster

Whatsinanames · 21/12/2025 09:39

Cherubneddy · 21/12/2025 09:22

i was with my lovely mum when she died yesterday. It was horrific. She had COPD and s build up of CO2 that killed her. At lunchtime she was chatting to the nurses and complaining about the lunch they gave her, within 10 hours she was dead. It was such an awful death. She was so agitated. I spent the last 3 hours of her life physically fighting with her to keep her in her bed, she was trying to climb out. She was screaming out. I begged the ICU nurses to help but there was little they could do without the dr’s say so, and as it was the junior drs strike they were in short supply. They eventually gave her a syringe driver and she died within 15 mins of that going in. I’m haunted by her final breath, it was like something out of a horror movie as she rose up from the bed gasping for air, with her chest making the loudest, most awful noise. She turned grey in about a second.
I think she was trying to escape dying by trying to get out of bed. She was a fighter. She definitely wasn’t ready to go. If there’s any words of reassurance or comfort you can give after your experience I’d be very grateful.

I am so so sorry. This sounds like a horrible experience and one I am sure you will need to process for a long time.

In my experience, when your body starts to shut down, it stops hurting, and it stops being scary, and the experience is a peaceful one. Of course that was only my own experience but from doing some research after I think it’s common.

So the leadup may have been scary but from my experience I believe that the actual time of passing of your mum - even if her breathing looked awful - would have felt, for her, to be happy.

I am also certain she was glad you were there. In my final minutes I wished I could say goodbye to my children.

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Original poster

Whatsinanames · 21/12/2025 09:41

Bones101 · 21/12/2025 02:30

ED doc here op. Delighted you are well now. I'm sure you live life better than most of us and appreciate everyday. Have a wonderful Christmas xxx

Thank you x

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JustMyView13 · 21/12/2025 09:54

Fell across your post. No questions, but what a fascinating insight. Thank you.

VanessaSanessa · 21/12/2025 09:59

Thank you for this OP. I hope you are well now.

@Cherubneddy I'm so sorry for your loss, that experience was very hard on you. My dad had quite a peaceful death, surrounded by family, syringe driver on and even then his last few breaths were quite loud and a little traumatic for us. The nurse who was there explained that it's not one bit uncomfortable for the person dying, they aren't aware, that it's much more traumatic for the people around them. I think it's called the death rattle and happens a lot.

MrsCatE · 21/12/2025 10:23

Thank you for post about a very personal experience. I had near death experience. I was in hospital so was resuscitated. I don't remember anything apart from trying to apologise - despite (Anaesthetic / Oxygen?) Mask! My ex didn't visit once because "I can't do hospitals - what if there's blood?". After a few days, I had to be discharged into care of responsible Adult (hah!). I had to be wheeled out to the Exit because he wouldn't come into the Discharge Lounge and wait for him to turn up. In the taxi back he kept wringing his hands and wittering on about how awful the recent death of a girlfriend of a work colleague was. A colleague who he'd never had any interaction with outside of Work. On the back of my near death experience.

BillieWiper · 21/12/2025 10:24

Well you didn't die. I nearly did and can't remember any of it. So can't imagine what there is to ask.

Peoplemakemedespair · 21/12/2025 10:29

BillieWiper · 21/12/2025 10:24

Well you didn't die. I nearly did and can't remember any of it. So can't imagine what there is to ask.

Same. I had the adrenaline injection, shock etc when I nearly died when I was 14. Again when I was late 20’s. Obviously it doesn’t happen to everyone, but it’s not an uncommon occurrence. Ok not sure what we’re supposed to be asking

BillieWiper · 21/12/2025 11:10

Peoplemakemedespair · 21/12/2025 10:29

Same. I had the adrenaline injection, shock etc when I nearly died when I was 14. Again when I was late 20’s. Obviously it doesn’t happen to everyone, but it’s not an uncommon occurrence. Ok not sure what we’re supposed to be asking

Show quote history

Yeah, I think I actually was technically dead as my breathing stopped, so I think if you really were then it would just be a blank nothingness. I wouldn't have known it happened if the person saving me hadn't told me. So nothing to report?! Lol. Glad you and OP are alright now though obviously! X

GKG1 · 21/12/2025 11:46

Whatsinanames · 21/12/2025 09:26

It was more like my self / soul was melting away from my body. Or evaporating. I could physically feel my senses shutting down one by one. First pain / feelings, then sight, then lastly sound. But even with sound gone I still had some thoughts and consciousness for a while even though at that point i would say my body was gone.

I did see episodes of my life - or just one specifically which was older daughter laughing and playing. It’s more like I felt the presence of many happy memories around me, so I didn’t see them like a video (other than DD) but i felt their collective presence. All good memories no sad ones which was nice.

I was an atheist before and still am now but the fact my thoughts were totally separate from my body makes me feel that maybe a part of our consciousness exists on in a dream. But scientifically I don’t see how that could be the case.

Show quote history

Thank you for your thread, it is really interesting to me and have also read about other people’s near death experiences.

Im interested in your question of how could it be scientifically possible that consciousness continues. There is literally no evidence that consciousness is produced by the brain, this is just an assumption. There brain is matter, a physical organ. Mind and consciousness are completely different phenomena from matter. We have evidence of a correlation between the brain and mind via scans etc but no scientific evidence that mind is produced by brain. neuroscientists call this ‘The Hard Problem’.

To me, once you start to consider this with an open mind critical of what we have been raised with, together with qualitative evidence like yours, it’s definitely scientifically possible that the mind continues beyond this life, when the body dies.

Luckyducky10 · 21/12/2025 21:19

Cherubneddy · 21/12/2025 09:22

i was with my lovely mum when she died yesterday. It was horrific. She had COPD and s build up of CO2 that killed her. At lunchtime she was chatting to the nurses and complaining about the lunch they gave her, within 10 hours she was dead. It was such an awful death. She was so agitated. I spent the last 3 hours of her life physically fighting with her to keep her in her bed, she was trying to climb out. She was screaming out. I begged the ICU nurses to help but there was little they could do without the dr’s say so, and as it was the junior drs strike they were in short supply. They eventually gave her a syringe driver and she died within 15 mins of that going in. I’m haunted by her final breath, it was like something out of a horror movie as she rose up from the bed gasping for air, with her chest making the loudest, most awful noise. She turned grey in about a second.
I think she was trying to escape dying by trying to get out of bed. She was a fighter. She definitely wasn’t ready to go. If there’s any words of reassurance or comfort you can give after your experience I’d be very grateful.

My dad also died 3 years ago of COPD sorry for your loss. I agree those last breathes are traumatic, I still see my dad that way everyday, hope things get easier for you

Branwells77 · 21/12/2025 21:25

VoltaireMittyDream · 21/12/2025 02:19

I’ve hust been reading about NDEs after losing my mum to a sudden cardiac event last week. I’m desperate or some reassurance that she wasn’t in pain and frightened. Anything you could say that would help would be much appreciated.

I’m so sorry for your loss xx

Original poster

Whatsinanames · 21/12/2025 21:28

BillieWiper · 21/12/2025 10:24

Well you didn't die. I nearly did and can't remember any of it. So can't imagine what there is to ask.

Well technically I did. And then I was resuscitated. I’ve found lots of people have questions they would like to ask anonymously as it’s something many people worry / think about and maybe I could provide some
perspective.

But if you don’t have questions that’s cool too.

@Peoplemakemedespair same - if no questions no worries :-)

but stopping breathing and heart stopping are very, very different things. Stopping breathing is a fairly common thing to survive. People do all the time, choking etc. surviving a full heart stoppage is a pretty uncommon thing and not many people have been through it

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